Last week, I was in Baton Rouge and New Orleans visiting family. Here are some things I learned while there.
* Junebugs may have a cute name, but they are disgusting.
* Sweet tea is readily available in Baton Rouge, but not in New Orleans.
* San Francisco is an incredibly segregated and white city.
* Any time is the right time for beignets.
* Cheap shoes and muggy weather do not mix.
* Just try and find the bathrooms in the Ye Olde Original Dungeon. I dare ya.
* Baton Rouge is a maddening collection of endlessly long streets with no signs that change names indiscriminately.
* It's not the heat, it's the humidity.
* That said, it's kind of refreshing having to go outside to warm up.
* The French Quarter is like Disneyland for drinkers.
* The South loves its salt.
* Boudin balls are delicious balls.
* Balls of the testicular variety tattooed in your armpit are not so delicious, even if you are a cute female bartender.
* New Orleanians do not believe in turn signals.
* If you drive to the New Orleans Airport in the middle of the night, you will for a moment think you have taken a wrong turn and are actually driving on the tarmac, and are about to get hit by a plane. Stay calm. It's only an illusion.
* Lunch at Commander's Palace, with 25 cent martinis (of various flavors), is an awesome deal.
* Off-street parking in the French Quarter is highway robbery.
* New Orleans cab drivers might very well take you for a ride, but it will likely be an entertaining one.
* It's hard to find a real New Orleans accent in the French Quarter.
* I miss my Southern kinfolk, but am glad I live where I do.