Wednesday, November 02, 2016

Hate to See You Go, But I Love to Watch You Leave!

Ya'll come back now, ya hear!
In the hopes that some of my Countdown to Halloween visitors may stop by from time to time, figured I'd tell people where they can read more of my stuff!

I'm the movie critic for SFist.com, and post new reviews there every Friday; come on by! This Friday I'll have a review of Doctor Strange, and next Friday I'll have one for Arrival. Here's the archive of all my past reviews and columns.

I also write a column called Ask a San Francisco Native. Have any burning questions you'd like to ask someone who was born, raised, and still lives in San Francisco? Send one my way!

Monday, October 31, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 31

Let's light those jack o'lanterns one more time! 

Happy Halloween!

I can't believe it's already here. I hope everyone had a great Halloween weekend, and are able to cap it off with some more treats this evening. I also want to thank everyone for stopping by this past month, and keeping this blog a little undead throughout the month of October. Thanks also to the creators of the blog-based Countdown to Halloween for keeping this going year after year. I hope to partake again in 2017.

As for today's Maniacal Movie offerings, as tends to be the case very often during October, TCM is really the place to be. They've been offering up spooky fare since the wee hours of the morning, and will continue on into the evening. Here's the rest of today's line-up, all times PST.

11:30 AM - Dead of Night (1945)
1:30 PM - House on Haunted Hill (1958)
3:00 PM - The Haunting (1963)
5:00 PM - The Devil's Bride (1968)
6:45 PM - The Mummy (1959)
8:30 PM - The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)
10:15 PM - Scream of Fear (1961)
11:45 PM - The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1961)
1:30 AM - To the Devil, a Daughter (1976)

Of those, of course my pick would be The Haunting, a movie that still, after many viewings, creeps me out. Especially this scene.



Have a creepy, crawly, and safe Halloween! Just make sure you know whose hand your holding...

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 30

Trick or treat!
I can't let Halloween pass without a viewing of John Carpenter's Halloween, but as has been the case for the past several years, its only broadcast is on AMC, (tonight at 10PM) which is just intolerable because of the amount of commercial they shove into it. I was just watching a little bit of it right now, and they actually cut to a commercial as Laurie is walking up the stairs and about to find...well, for the two people who haven't seen the movie, I won't spoil it. I'll just say it's NOT the right place to stick in a happy commercial for a car.

I'm not sure why AMC has the monopoly on it and all its inferior sequels, but it IS available to stream via Amazon and iTunes, so at least there's that option. Luckily I have a nice Bluray I can watch, although I usually just end up watching the first half. I love how the movie is able to set up the mood of a brisk Halloween day, as it slowly turns in to night. If it wasn't for the all the green leaves, and a few palm trees here and there, you'd almost believe it wasn't filmed in Los Angeles.

OK fine, maybe it doesn't really look like a town in Illinois, but I still love it.



Saturday, October 29, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 29



I'm looking forward to tonight's Svengoolie because he'll be showing Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and I haven't see that movie in years.

I have seen it many times, but mainly when I was a kid, and Abbott and Costello movies were aired every weekend on a local channel. Watching all those movies is what lead to me having my weirdest celebrity crush. On Lou Costello.

Bela Lugosi only played Dracula twice on screen, in the original film, and in this, which is a pretty weird thing to realize, when he is so strongly identified with the character. Boris Karloff does NOT play Frankenstein's monster, but did join the duo the following year in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff.

Svengoolie airs at 10PM on MeTV. Until then enjoy some bloopers from the filming.



Friday, October 28, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 28

Now this is my kind of party!
TCM is airing a full night of classic horror movies that includes Dracula, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, and The Wolf Man.

But my personal pic is 1934's The Black Cat, directed by B-movie legend, Edgar Ulmer, and starring Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. It's an amazingly beautiful movie, with insane art deco sets, and a kind of looney plot that bears little resemblance to the Edgar Allan Poe story it was "based" on.

You can watch it at 10:30PM on TCM, or right here, though I can guarantee you that TCM's copy of the movie will be a lot better.



And here's the evening's complete line-up.

5:00 PM - Dracula (1931)
6:30 PM - The Mummy (1932)
8:00 PM - The Invisible Man (1933)
9:15 PM - The Wolf Man (1941)
10:30 PM - The Black Cat (1934)
11:45 PM - The Uninvited (1944)
1:30 AM - Island of Lost Souls (1933)

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 27


It's almost Halloween, which means it's just about time for a viewing of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, wouldn't you say?

It's on BBC America at 1:30PM, and can also be streamed via Amazon Prime.

Here's that famous trailer where Hitch gives a tour of the crime scenes, and Vera Miles stands in for Janet Leigh, letting out that final scream in the shower.



Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 26

I want to suck your blood....in a minute. I have to sit down first.
Billy the Kid vs. Dracula is one of those movies that exists simply because the title makes you go, "Huwhat?!" John Carradine plays Dracula, and I guess he became a count in his later years, because he's definitely not the "forever young" Dracula we're used to. Chuck Courtney is Billy the Kid. It was filmed in "Shockorama," whatever that is!

Watch it at 11:15PM on GetTV.




Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 25

Ahh c'mon, gimme a hug!
Late late tonight, at 1:40AM, the Fox Movie Channel (didn't even know that was a channel, actually!) will be showing The Alligator People. Although, if I remember it correctly, there's only one alligator person in it, so the title is a bit misleading. Also, the alligator person doesn't have a tail, so really, he's only half-a-gator.

But whatever! Beverly Garland is in it, so it's worth watching, which you can also do right here, right now!



Monday, October 24, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 24




Well, we're down to the final stretch: Just one more week until Halloween! And TCM has an appropriate day lined up for it, full of nothing but Christopher Lee Dracula movies, starting at 5PM (PST). Here's the complete line-up:

5:00 PM - Horror of Dracula (1958)
6:30 PM - Dracula, Prince of Darkness (1965)
8:15 PM - Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1969)
10:00 PM - Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)
11:45 PM - Scars of Dracula (1970)
1:30 AM - Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)

In my opinion, the first one, Horror of Dracula, remains the best one. I'm not sure if TCM is airing the restored version, but they tend to be pretty good about stuff like that. We'll see.



Sunday, October 23, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 23

Gee, your hair smells terrific!
He may look like Dracula, but don't be fooled! In The Return of the Vampire Bela Lugosi plays a bloodsucker named Armand Tesla, because Universal wasn't about to let him play Count Dracula in a Columbia picture. Still, he's got the cape, he's got the accent, and he's got the fangs. It's about as convincing a disguise as Mr. Hilter.

Watch the movie at 8PM on GetTV, whatever that is, which is on channel 187 on Comcast.




Saturday, October 22, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 22

But I just want to be your friend!
Morgan Spurlock, the man best known for the documentary Super Size Me, has a new doc premiering tonight, and it's being touted as a "horrormentary," not because it's about horror but because it's subject matter is kind of horrifying.

It's called Rats.



Yeah. This one is gonna haunt my dreams. Watch it at 9PM on the Discovery Channel.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 21

That Dr. Jekyll has a few...issues
The 1941 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde starring Spencer Tracy, Ingrid Bergman, and Lana Turner, is my favorite version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, for one reason only. This scene:



The rest of the movie is pretty good too. Watch it at 5PM on TCM.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 20


The Rocky Horror Picture Show was a big part of Halloween--and really, just general fun--in my early teens. My friends and I went to see it dozens of times--at midnight!--over the years, which I find kind of amazing, looking back on it. I never dressed up, but we always talked back to the screen, making our own movie, in a sense, and really that was the biggest appeal because, let's face it, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is not exactly....good.

Which isn't to say it isn't enjoyable! I'll never argue with anyone who loves it or says it played a major part in who they grew up to be. I just know that if you take away the audience interaction, it isn't nearly as much fun.

Which is why I have serious doubts about Fox's new version. Laverne Cox is taking on the Frank N. Furter role, which is definitely a very inspired choice, but we all have to agree, no one will ever be able to replicate the inexplicable sexiness of Tim Curry's portrayal, right?

Watch it 8PM on Fox.



Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 19

Every year I have to include two non-movie selections. This first is, of course, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown which is on ABC at 8PM.

But, in some ways, it is kind of a horror movie, if you consider the fact that Linus is a complete nut case, luring children to a pumpkin patch in the dead of night to sacrifice them to a pagan god called The Great Pumpkin.

I mean, just look at his eyes!


It's followed by Toy Story of Terror at 8:30PM, which is worth watching for this moment alone.



Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 18

Cocktails, anyone?
The 1931 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde starring Fredric March is not my favorite Jekyll and Hyde movie, (that would be the one starring Spencer Tracy, which you can watch on Friday), but it's still a pretty good one, nonetheless. You can watch it at 3:15PM on TCM.

I'll have what he...on second thought, no, I don't want what he's having. At least, not without a chaser.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 17


Mondays are Christopher Lee night on Turner Classic Movies, and tonight they're featuring five films, starting with Horror Hotel at 5PM, which has some plot similarities with Psycho, also released in 1960. There's a copy available to watch on YouTube, though, warning, it isn't the greatest.



Up next is Horror Express, at 6:30PM, in which Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing chase an alien body snatcher on the Trans-Siberian Express. It's also available to watch on YouTube.



It's followed by The House That Dripped Blood at 8:15PM, an anthology horror film with four stories, all written by Robert Bloch. You'll have to make do with a trailer for this one.



At 10:15PM watch The Creeping Flesh, starring Peter Cushing as a mad scientist who creates a skeleton that can grow skin when wet, and Christopher Lee as his half-brother, who decides to steal the skeleton and take it for a walk in the rain. The version on YouTube is in SquatOVision, meaning it's not the right aspect ratio, so watch at your own risk. For now, here's the trailer.



Finally, at Midnight, there's The Oblong Box, in which Christopher Lee and Vincent Price co-star for the first time. The plot is way too complicated to explain, so maybe you should just watch it!



Sunday, October 16, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 16


Anyone have an Advil?
Today's pick is a title I've never heard of, the Japanese sci-fi horror movie Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell. The plot sounds a little like a space vampire thriller, ala Lifeforce, but the trailer makes it look a lot weirder than that, perhaps due in part to its very obvious low budget restraints.

It was also released on DVD by Criterion, and they tend to choose wisely, (let's ignore their releases of The Rock and Armageddon for now).



Watch it on TCM at 11PM.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 15



It's Saturday, again, which means it's Svengoolie night, again. And this time he's featuring Revenge of the Creature, the first sequel to The Creature From the Black Lagoon.

In this one, the Creature is captured and brought to Florida to be studied, but--spoiler alert!--he escapes. Unfortunately, freedom is no match for intense love, and he soon returns to try and win over the affections of Lori Nelson. Be sure to look for Clint Eastwood in his film debut, sharing screen time with a lab rat. 

Watch it tonight at 10PM on MeTV, or right here, right now!



Friday, October 14, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 14

It's!!!....Not alive.
It's horror comedy night on TCM, starting at 5PM. The complete lineup is listed below, but I want to focus on 10PM and the 1974 Mel Brooks classic, Young Frankenstein, starring the recently departed Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein. (You know how to pronounce it.)

I think it may be the best horror comedy ever made, because while it makes fun of the Frankenstein films, it is so clear everyone involved actually really loves those movies.

If I ever, ever need a laugh, all I have to do is watch this scene featuring Gene Hackman as the Old Blind Man, trying his best to make a new friend.



Here's the complete lineup of tonight's movies:

5:00 PM The Cat and the Canary (1939)
6:30 PM The Fearless Vampire Killers (1966)
8:30 PM Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
10:00 PM Young Frankenstein (1974)
12:00 AM Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967)
1:30 AM Spooks Run Wild (1941)
2:45 AM Ghosts on the Loose (1943)

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 13

Just an innocent zombie stroll
The original 1968 Night of the Living Dead is the It's a Wonderful Life of Halloween movies. You have to watch it every year, or the holiday just isn't complete.

It's on Retroplex tonight at 5PM, but, much like It's a Wonderful Life used to be, it's also a movie that has been in the public domain for years, so you can basically watch it whenever you want online.

Including right here, right now!



Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 12

The chilling torture of portrait sitting
The Pit and the Pendulum was the second Edgar Allen Poe film directed by Roger Corman, in a series of horror movie adaptations that would go on to include six titles.

This one stars Vincent Price as a 16th century nobleman who turns into his Spanish Inquisitor father after his wife (Barbara Steele) is buried alive. And when you're a Spanish Inquisitor, you, of course have to built a torture chamber! Maybe in a pit? And with a.....pendulum?!



Watch it late tonight at 1:20AM on MGMHD.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 11


Help meeee! Help meeee!.....SERIOUSLY GUYS I NEED HELP!

I would say the David Cronenberg 1986 remake of the 1958 horror movie The Fly is probably one of the few instances when a remake has been better than the original. And that's because the original really is kind of silly. Which just adds credence to my belief that if you're going to remake movies, you should remake bad movies, and try to make them better.

Also, if you're like me and hate it when trailers give everything away, here's the exact opposite of that.



The 1958 original is what's available to view tonight at 11:25PM on Retroplex, but I'm not sure about that channel's adherence to original aspect ratios, (the film was shot in CinemaScope), so an alternative viewing method is Netflix streaming or you can rent it via Amazon.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 10


A true mad scientist never gets his mustache wet
With a title like Scream and Scream Again, and a cast full of horror movie legends like Vincent Price, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, you'd expect this 1970 film to be firmly anchored in the horror genre, butitwas actually based on a science fiction novel called The Disoriented Man by (pseudonymous author) Peter Saxon, and--much like the previously featured Black Friday, the stars are never actually in the same scenes together.

But there's enough chopping off of body parts, vats of acid, and Nazi-like agents to at least place it in the realm of sci-fi inspired horror.

Watch it tonight at 12:15AM on TCM or rent it via Amazon.



Sunday, October 09, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 9

She's got a really strict piano teacher
Tonight, TCM is airing one of the most batshit crazy movies ever made. It's the Japanese haunted house flick called, appropriately, House (or Hausu, in Japanese).

But if I were to try and explain it, I'd probably say it's like a Dario Argento movie, but with less money, and more Japanese girls. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Nothing I could say about it would ever top this illustrated essay by Rich Juzwiak, so be sure to read it.

Then watch the trailer.



Then look at this gif.

When ceiling fans attack

And then watch it, tonight at 11PM on Turner Classic Movies. (Or stream it via Amazon!)


Saturday, October 08, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 8


It was a pleasure being in a movie with you. Perhaps one day we'll actually meet.
It's Saturday which means it's Svengoolie night on MeTV. This week he's featuring Black Friday, the Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi movie in which Bela and Boris never actually appear in the same scene together. The plot involves partial brain transplants, gangsters, and hordes of hidden cash. So, not too different from a traditional Black Friday shopping event! (That's the type of humor you can expect from Svengoolie tonight. You've been warned.)

Watch it tonight at 10PM on MeTV, Comcast channel 196, (broadcast channel 20.2), OR you can watch it right here, right now!



Friday, October 07, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 7


What did you just call me?

Tonight at 5PM, TCM is airing the 1922 version of Nosferatu. I've seen this movie many times, but nothing can top the time I saw it at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco, with a live score provided by the Clubfoot Orchestra.

I know there's a recorded version of this out there somewhere, but it has yet to be released on DVD or broadcast in this century. Alas, all I can offer is this clip, which at least encapsulates the general tone of the movie's score.




While I would personally pair this up with Werner Herzog's 1979 version, TCM is going the silent route instead, airing a full night of silent horrors. Here's the complete schedule. All times are PST. 

8:15PM Unholy Three (1925)
10:00PM The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
1:45AM The Penalty (1920)

Thursday, October 06, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 6


Ummm.....
OK now this is exciting. Back in April, producer and director J.J. Abrams revealed his studio, Bad Robot, had remastered the 1979 classic horror movie Phantasm with a 4K restoration. This restored version is known as Phantasm: Remastered, and was briefly released in theaters last month.

And now, it's airing on Syfy for a one time showing tonight at 11PM!



This news is almost too good to be true; I'm sure it's either not gonna happen, or it's gonna be so edited for television that the whole "remastered" thing won't really matter. Still, I'm setting that TiVo, and hoping for the best. (And then I'll probably still buy the Bluray, should it ever get released.)

Also, the fifth, and supposedly final Phantasm movie, Phantasm RaVager, is released on VOD tomorrow. It wasn't directed by Don Coscarelli, (and it fact, it's the only film in the series he didn't direct), but he did produce and co-write it, and it does star A. Michael Baldwin, Reggie Bannister, and the late, great, Angus Scrimm, and there is a GIANT silver ball in it, so it can't be all bad.



Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 5


Quoth the raven, "Nice scarf!'

A remake of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds has been rumored and threatened for years. I even mentioned it in this very countdown back in 2008, when it was supposed to star George Clooney and Naomi Watts. (HA HA HA, like that would ever happen.) The rumors are still alive, with the movie supposedly being directed by Diederick Van Rooijen.

And then there's this weird and pretty terrible fake trailer for a remake that I don't think actually exists.



Needless to say, a remake is a terrible idea, and should never happen, and blah blah blah. We all know that. Thankfully, as is the case with all remakes, it's not like the original movie will be burned forever so no one will ever see it. Still, it remains irksome to us movie snobs when these remakes come out because we know that there are some in a younger generation who will only ever know a remake, and not the superior original.

Plus, I hear in this remake, all the birds are going to be played be females. THANKS FOR RUINING MY CHILDHOOD!

Today offers us a chance to view the one and only classic The Birds, as it's airing on BBC America at 8PM and 11PM. It's also available for rent via Amazon.



Tuesday, October 04, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 4




If you think this trailer for Nicholas Roeg's 1973 horror classic Don't Look Now is weird, just you wait; the movie will blow your mind! And I'm not just talking about the famous sex scene between Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie that's in the middle of it. And, in fact, if you watch it on TV today, (12PM on the Movies! Network, which is Comcast cable channel 195, and broadcast channel 2.3 in the Bay Area), you probably won't see that scene at all.

In typical Roeg fashion, the movie plays around with narrative flow, which makes for an uneasy experience. But more than that, it's those flashes you see of a little person in a hooded red coat, roaming the streets of Venice, (especially at the end), that will haunt your dreams.

That ain't Little Red Riding Hood

I don't really recommend watching it on TV today if it's the first time you've seen it, since the station it's on runs commercials and edits its movies. (Sometimes in some crazy ways, too. I was watching an old 1940's noir movie on it the other night, and there was a scene in a museum that featured a statue--and they had blurred the breasts on the statue!!)

Thankfully, Don't Look Now is available via Amazon and Xfinity OnDemand. So do look now for it there.

Monday, October 03, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 3

The horror pickings on TV today are slim, so here's a little something you can watch right here, right now. It's one of my favorite bits of made-for-TV horror: the Amelia chapter of the 1975 movie Trilogy of Terror, starring Karen Black and a murderous "Zuni fetish doll."



Now, it's not exactly scary. In fact, it's kind of hilarious, (though the ending is genuinely creepy). But the sounds the Zuni doll makes as it's attacking has got to be one of my all-time favorite things ever captured on film.

Enjoy.

Thanks for the present. You really, really shouldn't have....Really.



Sunday, October 02, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 2


IMAGE: JOHN KOBAL FOUNDATION/GETTY IMAGES

Isn't this image of the Bride of Frankenstein cast having a tea break while fully costumed just the best?

I know I include the movies every year, but seriously, what is Halloween without a viewing of Frankenstein and/or The Bride of Frankenstein? And today Turner Classic Movies is airing both, plus Son of Frankenstein, the third in Universal's series, and the last to star Boris Karloff.

Sundays are officially Frankenstein Day for the month of October on TCM, so you'll be seeing some more of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster here in the weeks to come.

And it'll come as no surprise that of all the Frankenstein movies, Bride of Frankenstein is my favorite. I mean, isn't it everyone's? And how could it not be, with moments like this?

 

Man, one of these Halloweens I'm going to have to make my Bride of Frankenstein costume dreams come true. What's more comfortable that walking around all night in a muumuu made out of some sheets? The hard part is the hair and makeup, which I'm terrible at. This hair tutorial using a soda bottle kind of blew my mind.

 

The above is actually pretty close to how the original hair was done, at least according to Elsa Lanchester, who said, "It's my own hair. I had it lifted up from my face, all the way around; then they placed a cage on my head and combed my own hair over that cage. Then they put the gray-streak hairpieces in afterwards."

A lot harder than just sticking you finger in a light socket!

Watch TCM's Sunday of Frankenstein flicks starting with the original at 5PM, PST.



Saturday, October 01, 2016

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 1



Welcome back boils and ghouls, to another Halloween Countdown, Musty TV style! I'm happy to be participating for the ninth year in a row, and hope you enjoy the treats--and possible tricks--I have to offer. And even if you don't, there are plenty of other blogs partaking, so be sure to go knock on their doors too!

My pick today is the Svengoolie show, and his airing of Monolith Monsters, which is on MeTV in the San Francisco Bay Area. (Check their official site to find a channel in your area.)

Svengoolie is not my all-time favorite horror host (that would be Bob Wilkins, who I grew up watching), but he's the only one that's getting any air time in my neck of the woods these days. And while I think his jokes are, well, lame, I do appreciate the large amounts of trivia and horror movie history he includes during his broadcasts. He also tends to air Universal movies, so the films featured aren't the usual bad print, public domain movies a lot of horror movie hosts can get stuck with.

As for the flick, the monolithic monsters of the movie's title are meteor crystals that suck moisture from humans to grow, and then get really big when the rains come. And yeah, sure, giant rocks aren't exactly the most terrifying aliens to ever invade a small town, but you still wouldn't want to be caught underneath one of them, right?

Watch it at 10PM on MeTV, Comcast channel 196, or broadcast channel 20.2



Wednesday, September 28, 2016

The Return of the Living Dead (Blog)

OMG! It's almost October! And that means this blog is once again coming back from the dead to help you count down the days until Halloween!

This will be the ninth year I've participated in this blog-based Countdown to Halloween, which means I started doing it back when people still actually read blogs! Ah, those were the days, weren't they? When you had to actively choose to read what someone had to say, instead of having it thrust upon you because you just can't seem to avoid checking Facebook every day, no matter how hard you try?

Of course, the main way I'll be getting people to actually read this is via Facebook, but that's neither here nor there.

Per usual, I'll be posting daily, suggesting something spooky you can watch on the teevee, primarily, but will also look for other viewing options when available.

This is the last month before the possible beginning of the end times, so why not amp yourself up for it by watching a bunch of nightmare fodder for 31 days? It couldn't hurt!....

OR COULD IT?

Lindsey! Lindseeeeeey! The boogie man is coming!
Lindsey! Lindseeeeeey! The boogie man is coming!

Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Ask a San Francisco Native: Is Fisherman's Wharf The Worst?

In these Troubled San Francisco Times, there is a lot of talk about who was here when, and what that does (or doesn't) mean. In an effort to both assist newcomers and take long-time residents down memory lane, we present to you Ask a San Francisco Native, a column penned by SF native and longtime SFist contributor Rain Jokinen, which is inspired by a similar one on our sister site Gothamist, and is intended to put to rest all those questions only a native of this city can answer. Send yours here!

fishermens-grotto_front.jpg

Dear Rain,

I'm so confused by Fisherman's Wharf! Everyone I know makes fun of it for its tourist shops and shitty restaurants (Hooters! Bubba Gumps!). But isn't the Buena Vista there, and doesn't the entire area have some sort of historic relevance? I thought San Franciscans love history! So what's the deal, is the Wharf a place all the cool people despise, or is there more to it?

Thanks,

Wharf Wary

Dear WW,

I'm going to make a confession: I love Fisherman's Wharf!

Well, perhaps I should clarify that: I love a lot of Fisherman's Wharf.

You are correct that there are tons of tourist shops down there, all selling the same tshirts and plastic crap from China. And there are also a lot of shitty chain restaurants, including Applebee's and Bubba Gump's; (the Hooters shut down a couple years back).

But I have really fond childhood memories of venturing down to Fisherman's Wharf and Ghirardelli Square every summer when my grandmother would come to town. I was too young back then to have any Irish coffees at the Buena Vista, (I've made up for it since then with plenty of adult visits), but we did have dinner at the Magic Pan restaurant, which had amazing views of the Bay, or we'd buy crabs from the rows of vendors that are working out there at the end of Taylor street. (For a while, it really was the best place to buy fresh crab.)

You are also correct in saying there's a lot of San Francisco history to be found in the Wharf. But I'm not just talking about hearkening back to when it actually was a huge working wharf; I'm talking about being able to see a bit of mid-century modern San Francisco, an era that is surprisingly unpreserved elsewhere in town. I mean, why would any city decide to tear this down and replace it with a Marriott??

ca-san-francisco-villa-roma-motor-hotel-c1960.jpg

At least we still have Fisherman's Grotto no. 9, which has been there in some form since 1935. Parts of it haven't changed since the 1960s. The downstairs restaurant (called the Venetian Coffee Shop) has booths that look like gondolas.

fgrotto25.jpg

Sabella and La Torre is another great old school restaurant on Taylor Street, with some amazing murals, and menus that talk. (Well, you have to provide the voice, but the menu does have feature a cartoon fish waiter with an animated mouth.)

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The Franciscan, which was built in the 1950's (and remodeled recently) is just a drop dead gorgeous building. Photos of movie stars that have probably never been near the place line the stairway leading into it, and the 20 foot windows provide cinematic views of the Bay, (barring any fog, of course).

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As you may have noticed, I haven't really talked about the food at any of this restaurants. At one time, Fisherman's Wharf was simply the best place in the City to eat fresh seafood. That's no longer the case. Yes, much of the cuisine offered there is overpriced and mediocre. But sometimes that doesn't matter if it means you can dine in an atmosphere that feels like you've stepped back in time, to an era where tourists wore dresses and suits, and not "Property of Alcatraz" sweatshirts.

The area is also home to Musee Mechanique, the new Gold Dust Lounge, seals, and a Keane Eyes gallery. Fisherman's Wharf is filled with SO many tourists, SO many crappy stores, and a growing number of generic restaurants and buildings that it really is easy to just completely overlook the beautiful and downright cool places that still exist down there.

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I love the area so much I'm going to dress up like my grandmother would have in the 1950's and go have dinner at Scoma's tonight. If I wake up with this picture of Albert Scoma (R.I.P) tattooed on my back the next morning, I can call the evening a success.

Plenty of "in the know" San Francisco travel guides will continue to list Fisherman's Wharf as a place to AVOID when visiting the City. And I heartily agree. I'd love the tourists to stop going there, so we locals can take it back.

Rain Jokinen was born and raised in San Francisco and, miraculously, still calls the city home. Her future plans include becoming a millionaire, buying a condo complex, and then tearing it down to replace it with a dive bar. You can ask this native San Franciscan your questions here.