Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 7: Cutting Class (1989)

Cutting Class is billed as a dark horror comedy, but there's nothing very scary or funny in it. Instead, it's really only notable for being one of Brad Pitt's first feature films and for having a bunch of Wall of Voodoo songs on the soundtrack. And I also suppose for being at least one nail in the coffin of the 1980's slasher movie trend.

Donovan Leitch co-stars as a high school student who spent five years in an insane asylum for killing his father. Martin Mull (the film's only real comedic relief) is the district attorney who helped put him away. And Jill Schoelen is his daughter, who he leaves alone for a week so he can go hunting, imploring her to do her homework, not have any boys over, and definitely not cut class. She does all three.

When students and staff start disappearing and dying, the insane asylum alum is of course the number one suspect. But is he really a killer? Or is he being set-up? It takes way too long to get to that answer, and by that time, its neither surprising or scary. Aside for a few interesting shots, including one of a face behind a water cooler that's genuinely creepy, if completely preposterous, the movie is just very, very basic.

I watched Cutting Class on Peacock.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 6: Trauma (1993)

I always try to get a Dario Argento movie into this countdown, and the results have been pretty hit or miss. And I have to say, 1993's Trauma falls into the miss column. 

It was Argento's first film produced in the States (Minnesota is the setting) so it doesn't have a lot of the usual post production dubbing that mars Italian productions, which is a plus, and the story itself is classic giallo. But it falls short in so many other ways.

Asia Argento plays Aura, a traumatized teenager with anorexia who is rescued from a suicide attempt by a TV news employee. She's also being terrorized by a serial killer who is decapitating people associated with the psychiatric hospital she escaped from.

The film is filled with a surprising number of well known actors, including Piper Laurie, Frederic Forrest, and Brad Dourif, and they are all universally terrible in the movie. I'm always amazed when something like that happens. Can a good actor really give a bad performance just because he's following the direction of a bad director? Or is there something else going on?

But aside from that, it's just not a very engaging story, is, for the most part, bereft of Argento's trademarked garishness, and has too many ick factors surrounding Asia Argento, who was 17 when the movie was filmed. Her character is 16 years old, appears topless, and engages in a romantic relationship with the adult hero. No thank you.

I watched Trauma on Prime Video.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 5: The Coffee Table (2024)

The Spanish horror movie The Coffee Table (La mesita del comedor in Spain) was billed as a black comedy, but hoooooo boy, it is perhaps the blackest of black comedies ever made. Unless "black comedy" means you cringe so hard you find it hard to continue watching and you laugh maybe once?

There's no denying The Coffee Table is a horror movie, though not one that has anything to do with the supernatural, mad killers, or science fiction. Its horrors are firmly planted in real life, and that's what makes it an almost unbearable experience. It's a hard movie to talk about! Explain why you found it so difficult to watch and you take away any surprises. But you kind of have to explain why it's so difficult to watch if you want to give fair warning to any potential viewers.

So I will be extremely vague and just say that the movie ultimately proves that bad taste in interior design is no laughing matter, and can lead to more than just aesthetically horrible outcomes.

I watched The Coffee Table via a DVD from my library, but it is also available to rent online.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 4: When Michael Calls (1972)

Not entirely sure where I heard about the 1972 made-for-TV-movie When Michael Calls (also known as Shattered Silence), but it may have been as I was looking up information about When a Stranger Calls (see yesterday's post). Whatever the case, when I saw the cast, which includes Michael Douglas and Ben Gazzara, I was intrigued.

I probably shouldn't have been; it's pretty standard TV fare. Divorced mom Helen (Elizabeth Ashley) begins to get phone calls from a child claiming to be her nephew Michael, who died 15 years earlier. Is it a ghost calling from beyond the grave? A grown up Michael out for revenge? The angry farmhand? Helen's brother, Craig (Michael Douglas)? Or her ex-husband, Doremus (?!?!) (Ben Gazzara)?

Frankly, it's pretty easy to figure out the who of the mystery, though the why of it doesn't make a whole lot of sense once it's revealed. As dumb as it was, I always find something nostalgically comforting in watching these 1970's TV horror movies, so, not a complete waste.

I watched it on Plex, but there are plenty of free places to stream it, including YouTube, below. This version has the original ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week intro, which is fun to see.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 3: When a Stranger Calls (1979) and When a Stranger Calls Back (1993)

I think having seen the opening scene parodied so many times, and having seen the Scream movies, and knowing what the ultimate payoff of that opening scene is, I was under the impression I had actually seen the original When a Stranger Calls. Turns out, I had not!

Granted, the film's beginning is definitely the best part, building tension pretty well for a payoff that anyone who's told scary stories around a campfire has probably already heard. Carol Kane is not the most convincing teenager, which may be part of the reason she disappears after that opening for the majority of the movie, returning only for the climax, but she's such a unique screen presence and she's so good, that I can forgive that. (And if you want proof that her performance is so integral to the effectiveness of the movie's first half, just watch The Sitter, the original short the movie was based on.)

The middle part of the movie takes a bit of a turn, becoming more of a procedural that follows a detective (Charles Durning, excellent) as he tries to find the escaped killer (Tony Beckley twitchy, sweaty and sickly perfection, probably because he was, sadly, pretty ill during the filming, and would die a few months after it opened), who is in turn wandering the city seeking refuge before becoming fixated on a tough barfly (Colleen Dewhurst, amazing; how'd she find her way into this?).

It's ultimately a weird mash-up of genres, but because of that, it does stand apart from your standard slasher movie of the era. I enjoyed it so much, I decided I'd give the sequel a try, even though I didn't have high hopes for it since it was filmed over a decade later, and was a direct to cable release.

Turns out, When a Stranger Calls Back is pretty good too! Both Carol Kane and Charles Durning return, this time helping out a college student who five years earlier had a similarly traumatic experience babysitting. When she starts to notice weird things happening in her apartment, she seeks the help of Kane's Jill, the college guidance counselor. Pretty lucky to have a guidance counselor who's no stranger to babysitting trauma!

As in When a Stranger Calls, the psycho in this one is unique, to say the least. I think the movie benefits a lot from knowing very little going in, so I won't say more about him. But I will say I was howling with gleeful laughter at the film's climax. It's ridiculous, but in a good, giallo kind of way.

I watched When a Stranger Calls on Peacock. When a Stranger Calls Back is available to stream on a lot of free services, but I chose to watch it via the Shout! Factory Blu-ray release via my library since it's a better print, can be viewed in widescreen or original TV ratios, and includes the original short, The Sitter.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 2: Sacred Blood (2015)

As I said in yesterday's post, I will watch anything filmed in San Francisco, no matter how terrible, and Sacred Blood is pretty terrible. Directed by Christopher Coppola (Francis Ford Coppola's nephew, and Nicolas Cage's brother) the cast includes Michael Madsen, Bai Ling, Nicolas Cage doppleganger Bailey Coppola (Christopher's son), and Kato Kaelin (?!). Anna Baini stars as a Russian circus performer who becomes a vampire and haunts the streets of San Francisco, and when it comes to scenes shot on those streets, the movie does deliver, with locations that include Edindburgh Castle, the Condor Club, the Lipo Lounge, and various Chinatown alleys.

I will give it this: there's always some fun to be had watching a vengeful lady vampire tear apart some misogynistic city scum, and Michael Madsen is at his Michael Madsen-iest as a flask-drinking detective. Also, there is a vampiric poodle, so, the movie is not without some rewards! But while it's not the WORST San Francisco-set horror movie I've ever seen, I think it will only prove rewarding to San Francisco cinema completists like me.

I watched Sacred Blood on Pluto TV, but it is available to stream free, with commercials, on several platforms.

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 1: Criminally Insane (1975)

I love a San Francisco set horror movie, especially one shot in the 1970s, and Criminally Insane is just that. And I had not even heard of it before this year! True, it is barely a movie, at just over 60 minutes long, but it packs a lot into that 60 minutes!

Priscilla Alden stars as Ethel, an overweight mental patient released to the care of her grandmother who lives in a San Francisco Victorian. (I couldn't quite figure out the neighborhood, but possibly the Western Addition or Pacific Heights). All Ethel wants to do is eat. A lot. When her grandmother locks up the refrigerator and hides all the food, Ethel kills her, and sticks the body in an upstairs bedroom. 

Her brief freedom to binge eat is soon interrupted by the likes of a delivery boy who demands payment for grocery orders, Ethel's sister, who has left her abusive boyfriend to come live with their grandmother too, and a detective trying to solve some disappearances. Can't a lady eat in peace?

Priscilla Alden gives an impressive performance in that she is devoid of any likability whatsoever. It's actually kind of astounding just how unpleasant she is. Criminally Insane is extremely low budget; the blood is clearly very thick red paint, and the violence looks like it's been edited by someone who doesn't completely understand the rules of cutting. Both kinds. Still, I appreciated it for its forgotten grindhouse charms, and definitely enjoyed seeing the streets of 1970's San Francisco.

I watched Criminally Insane on Prime Video.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for....More Screams!

Welcome everyone to what is both the 17th year of taking part in the blog based Countdown to Halloween, and the official TWENTIETH year of this here blog. I think that means this is my blog's platinum year? Is that right? In any case, I will accept any platinum gifts you wish to bestow on me to celebrate.

I don't necessarily recommend delving that far back into the archives, as some of those posts are pretty pathetic, but I'll admit I also find some of them kind of charming. After all, this was before Facebook and Twitter, where shouting opinions into the void wouldn't lead to the possible downfall of democracy.

But I digress! The coming month is not about real life potential horrors, and is instead about fictional cinematic horrors! For the next 31 days I will post about 31 new-to-me horror movies. I always try to make the selection a mix of both old and new, and I also try to get some international features in there as well. Their only commonality is that I, to the best of my knowledge, haven't seen any of them before. I will admit in past years I have accidentally posted a few movies that ended up being repeat viewings just because I completely forgot about seeing them before (the benefit of age related memory loss??) but that's less likely to happen now since I have (almost) all of my movie watching dating back to 1982 logged on Letterboxd.

As always, a huge thank you for joining me this year, and in years past, and please be sure to check out some of the other blogs that are partaking in the Countdown! You can find a full list on right sidebar of the official site. 

Bring on spooky season, and some spooky movie viewing!

Happy Halloween!

Looks like we made it to the end of another fabulous Countdown! Happy Halloween all you boils and ghouls! 

This is the sixteenth year I've participated in the Countdown to Halloween, in one form or another, and I can honestly say, doing so makes the Halloween season even more fun. I've enjoyed checking out the other blogs that have been partaking, and want to thank everyone who has stopped by. It's always appreciated.

As a treat (maybe, ha) here's a little peek into my process. 

I keep track of all of these movies via spreadsheet, marking when I've watched them, when a post is written, and when it's posted. But I also keep track of some data points I'm always interested in when I watch horror movies. So, for fun, here are the totals for those:

Female Protagonists: 18
Gratuitous Nudity: 7
Sexual Assault: 7
Women Are Primary Victims: 4
Diverse Cast: 4
Supernatural: 13
Slasher: 11
Zombies: 2
Vampires: 0
Monsters: 3
Sci-fi Horror: 2

Finally, below is a list of all the films I watched, in chronological order, along with links to their posts. I hope some of you will seek out some (but not all, haha) of these films, maybe now, or maybe when spooky season rolls around again. In the meantime, have a great Halloween evening, a happy holiday season, and a wonderful 2024!

Killer’s Delight (1978)

Slotherhouse (2023)

Beyond the Door (1974)

The Resident (2011)

I Saw What You Did (1965)

I Trapped the Devil (2019)

Alone in the Dark (1982)

No One Will Save You (2023)

Eaten Alive (1976)

You Won’t Be Alone (2022)

Phenomena (1985)

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Murder By Phone (1982)

Saint Maude (2019)

The House on Sorority Row (1982)

Influencer (2022)

Massacre at Central High (1976)

Deadstream (2022)

Evilspeak (1981)

Dual (2022)

Bedlam (1946)

Totally Killer (2023)

The Devil Rides Out (1968)

Talk To Me (2023)

From Beyond the Grave (1974)

The Boogeyman (2023)

Home for the Holidays (1972)

Jethica (2023)

Cure (1997)

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

The Royal Hotel (2023)

Musty TV's Maniacal Movie Countdown - Day 31: The Royal Hotel (2023)

I always like to end this Countdown to Halloween with something brand new, and for the past two years, it's been the latest entry in David Gordon Green's Halloween franchise. Thankfully, we do NOT have another one of those this time around. Instead, I watched a film that's been getting a lot of good buzz: The Royal Hotel.

I'll come out and say, this is not really a scary movie, but if you've seen writer and director Kitty Green's last movie, The Assistant, also starring Julia Garner, you know she has a knack for tension and dread, of which much can be found in The Royal Hotel.

Garner co-stars with Jessica Henwick as Hannah and Liv, two American women, pretending to be Canadians (because, according to Liv, "everyone likes Canadians") on a trip through Australia. When they run out of money, they sign up for a work travel job at a pub in a remote mining town, where they must deal with a drunk boss (played by an unrecognizable Hugo Weaving) who never pays them, and an almost entirely male clientele that loves to rile them.

The two women find themselves constantly trying to weigh the micro aggressions from the macro aggressions, which in itself creates ongoing anxiety. Is one of these guys going to get violent? Will they take no for an answer? And the majority of the time, Hannah is the one having to both ward off potential threats, while also keeping a much less cautious Liv out of trouble.

While there are several scenes that had me tensing up as much as I would during the scariest movie, The Royal Hotel is definitely not a horror movie in the strictest sense of the word. But it certainly captures the too frequent potential for horror women, both travelers and those just trying to exist in this world, have to guard themselves against seemingly every damn day of their lives.

I rented The Royal Hotel via Prime Video and it is available on most VOD platforms.