Royal Weekend

It's Presidents' Day weekend, so of course I spent it watching movies about monarchies.

My first foray into the royal world was Sofia Coppola's "Marie Antoinette," which I loved. Now, I can totally understand the criticism waged against the film: it's a trifle; it's an awkward attempt to make an antiquated world understandable to a modern audience; it plays loose with the facts. All is true. (I will not, however, accept criticism against her being nothing but the spoiled daughter of a famous director who got where she is thanks to his influence because, hello? Hollywood is based on nepotism, and I don't hear the same kind of criticism being lobbed against people like Nick Cassavetes or Danny Huston--who, incidentally, has a bit part in the film). But there's something about this movie that, if not aimed at a specific audience of women who were teenagers during the 1980s, is aimed directly at me, and I loved it for that.

In 1984, I saw and fell in love with the movie "Amadeus," and in turn fell in love with the garish opulence of the 18th century. I listened to opera when not listening to The Police or Madness, and read books about Mozart and Marie Antoinette in between issues of Seventeen magazine. In short, how could I not love a movie filled with pastel confections, huge silk ballgowns, and songs by New Order and Bow Wow Wow? Sofia Coppola calls the film "girly," but I'd go a little further and call it "1980s girly." That's an admittedly narrow audience, so it's no wonder it was a bit of a flop.

Immediately after watching "Marie Antoinette" I decided to watch my disc of "Pretty In Pink." Obviously, 80s nostalgia had hit me. It turned out to be a pretty good double-feature. I'm not going to try and stretch the similarities between the two, but there were enough: both have '80s soundtracks. Both films are portraits of girls in hostile social environments. And both films have a preoccupation with fashion. I haven't seen "Pretty In Pink" all the way through in several years, but watching it this time, I was kind of appalled by Andie's outfits throughout the film. I mean, I remember always thinking it was a crime against fashion what she did to that awesome 1950s prom dress at the end of the film, but her other outfits? Were kind of horrifying. Floral tights? If you want to look like you have a horrible skin condition I suppose they're suitable. And all those hats tied up with floral scarves? *Shudder.* Just way too many florals, period. Sure, she was supposed to be a quirky individual, but frankly, she looked best in the simple grey skirt and top ensemble she wore on her first date with Blane, an outfit that was an obvious attempt to tone down the quirk a bit...

I followed all that up with a PBS documentary about Marie Antoinette I had been saving on my TiVo for when I finally saw the Coppola movie. It was...educational, but not nearly as much fun as Coppola's film. Those who want the facts should rent the documentary. Those who like to look at pretty shoes should rent the film.

Last in the monarch festival was a trip to the movie theater to see "The Queen." I enjoyed it, and thought Helen Mirren was fantastic. She managed to be both infuriatingly stoic and touching. I think she's got the Oscar in the bag. Speaking of bags, not much can be said about the fashions in "The Queen," aside from the fact the the Queen loves her handbags. But what she carries in those handbags? Remains a mystery.

The key take-away I got from my royal weekend was this: I could not care less about the history of monarchies and royal bloodlines, and I think the continued existence of royal families in this day and age is silly, at best. But if we are going to have them around, why not dress them up in tremendous hoop skirts, powdered wigs, and pretty pink shoes? They'd be a lot more entertaining.