Why Johnny?

I have no idea if this is some kind of elaborate joke or something, but according to the Cartoon Network's online schedule, they're going to air the infamous movie "The Room" at midnight and 2:30am tonight. If it is a joke, it is the cruelest thing ever. And if it isn't, I think Adult Swim just became the best thing to happen to cable TV. Ever.

If you haven't yet heard of "The Room," there's no shortage of info out there. Entertainment Weekly did a big feature in their magazine a few months back, and Videogum's been covering this shit forever. But if you're not in the mood to read all those words, just watch this clip. You'll be running to set your DVR and/or VCR before its six seconds are over.

February Round-Up - 2009

Oh, February...Back when the year still seemed new and rife with possibilities.

Movies Seen: Eleven, with one in a theater. That one was "Coraline," and it was definitely worth seeing in a theater, as I saw the 3D version, which was awesome. It totally reminded me of these books I had as a kid where instead of illustrations, there were photos of puppets, and the covers had 3D lenticular images. Actually, I think I only had one, "The Little Mermaid." Anyway, if you're going to see the movie, that's the way to go. Unfortunately, I think that chance has passed. Alas.

The DVDs I watched were pretty unmemorable. The best was probably "Operation Filmmaker," a documentary that doesn't go the way you think it will. The worst was "Nights in Rodanthe," and yeah, I know some of you are just going to say, "What did you expect?!" And perhaps they're right. But sometimes what a girl wants is some predictable romantic fluff. But the way this one ended just caused me to yell "FUCK YOU 'NIGHTS IN RODANTHE'!!!" at my TV.

Books Read: Two. One was another of Charlaine Harri's Sookie Stackhouse vampire books, and I think I'm going to have to lay off the series for a little bit. And the other was "Disquiet," a weird little novella by Julia Leigh. I would probably deem it quite gothic, if I actually knew what that term meant when it comes to fiction, so instead I'll just say it kind of reminded me of a V.C. Andrews story, if V.C. Andrews had been a better writer.

I also finished the "Y: The Last Man" series of comics. I'm glad I learned about the comic late and was able to read them all at once (well, as quickly as they became available at the library, that is), because I would have been dying if I had to wait every month for years for a new issue. It wasn't a perfect series, but I liked it a hell of a lot, and there was one panel in the last issue that just made me burst out crying. I think the last graphic novel or comic that made me cry was "Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid On Earth," so that's saying something.

Fancy Dinners Out: Really only one, at Ruth's Chris. I had to have one last steak before I went on my annual Lent-inspired forgoing of the red meats. I also went to a fabulous afternoon tea at Crown and Crumpet, which you can read about here.

Live Shows Seen: I think a night of Cinematic Titanic counts as a live show, yes? For those who don't know, Cinematic Titanic is another venture created by "Mystery Science Theater 3000" alums. I've spoken of RiffTrax before, and Cinematic Titanic is pretty much the same set up, at least as far as the live shows go. The cast includes Joel Hodgson, Trace Beulieu, TV's Frank (sorry, I just can't call him anything else but that), and Mary Jo Pehl. The movie they did was an awful Filipino vampire movie called "Blood of the Vampires."

Shoes Bought: None. And I am seriously jonesing for some new footwear, let me tell you what.

He Had No Idea How to Play the Cello. He Was Blowing Into It

This week's Tube Tops is now up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

I have no idea if I have a cold, or have just suddenly developed an allergy to sunshine, but whatever it is, my head feels like it's underwater. I'm being forced to breathe through my mouth, and I never realized how incredibly annoying that can be. I guess I'll never be a scuba diver.

God On a Wheel!

I have lived years of my life knowing nothing--NOTHING--about these women. Today that all changed.



It's things like this that stave off a fear of aging. I mean, really...



Why would I ever fear the time of my life when I can wear gold lame, a fur hat, dance in public, and not give a crap what anyone thinks?



Ok, yes. They may live in a HELL HOLE. But still. Marilyn and Royce, wherever you are, you are my heroes.

[via Boing Boing]

Where the Hipsters Will Be

I'm not sure why, but "Where the Wild Things Are" didn't seem to have quite the influence on me as it did on (seemigly) everyone else of my generation. I know I read it, but I must have gotten it from the library, because I don't recall owning it, or reading it over and over. Maybe it's just because the story is kind of boy-centric...(Although, I was crazy about "Harold and the Purple Crayon," and that was about a little boy, so who knows.)

The upcoming film seems like it was custom-made for the hipster crowd. A film catering to youth nostalgia, directed by Spike Jonze, with music by Karen O, and a screenplay that was touched by Dave Eggers? Are you kidding me? It almost sounds like the set-up for a parody of hipster movies.

But that said, the trailer makes it look really, really good.



Also? Mark Ruffalo is in it. See you opening night!

Bog Water and Chocolate Syrup

"The Simpsons" had a special St. Patrick's Day episode this Sunday, in which the family went to Ireland and wreaked their usual overseas havoc. I can't believe they hadn't already gone to Ireland in all their years on the air (and maybe they have; I'm just too lazy to confirm it). But it was rife with cliches and hilarity. Like this bit.



You can also see the whole episode here. It's hit and miss, but worth a watch.

No More Dictation For Today

This week's Tube Tops is now up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Back to the couch for me!

I Wish This Weekend Was Next Weekend...

And the weekend after that. What I'm saying is, I want to be on vacation again. Photos are here!

And, also, this week's Tube Tops is up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Where Did You Lose This Interview?

This Is the Best Thing To Wear For the Day

Jezebel has a trailer for the upcoming "Grey Gardens" movie starring Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange. I have to admit, I had my doubts, but Drew's accent is pretty good. I'm hoping there aren't too many moments that just replicate the documentary because, duh, that movie already exists and it's awesome. But delving into their past and throwing in an appearance by Jackie O is something I'd like to see.

Anyway--check out the trailer at the link above, and then watch this clip. Compare. Contrast. Discuss.



Edited to add: Also, in case you haven't heard Christine Ebersole's version of Little Edie in the musical "Grey Gardens," here's a clip. I think she's a little too nasally...

You're Not a Turnip, Are You?

This week's Tube Tops is up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Check it!

Jon Can Give You Cancer, Then Turn Into a Car!

Tomorrow night can't come fast enough.



Bonus points for the Wilhelm Scream!

The Most Repugnant Rose Ceremony Ever

I think I might be the only person who watched "The Bachelor: After the Final Rose" and didn't come away from it thinking Jason was the biggest jerkface of all time (any number of Bachelors before him were far more horrible). And that's ironic coming from a woman who has been dumped in a humiliating manner more than once. (But it all comes back to karma as I have broken up with guys over email AND voicemail.) ANYWAY. Yeah. I didn't think what he did was that bad!

First, none of these relationships works out. (And don't throw Tristan and Ryan at me. That was "The Bachelorette," and I am still positive Ryan has a soundproof closet in his house wherein he screams to high heaven at least once a day as a way of expressing his utter horror that he is married to that baby-talking famewhore...But he's a nice guy and is sticking around because of the children.) A proposal is always made on the season finale, and a few weeks, or months later, the couple breaks up. OF COURSE they do. They now have to pay for their dates, and actually talk to each other, and sleep together, and things are bound to be different. It is not that shocking that these kinds of relationships fail. So the only difference here is Jason dumped his choice on TV.

It is very likely that the producers of the show wanted to cash in on the continuing trend of romantic failure, and, once they found out Jason was having second thoughts, convinced him to do the breaking up on TV. I'm sure money was involved. And Jason, after counting said money, justified this as a chance to tell the world what happened, instead of leaving it to speculation if the break-up were just left to a brief mention in EW's "Milestones" section.

I don't think he's a bad guy for breaking up with Melissa. What was he supposed to do once he realized he really wasn't in love with her, and didn't want to spend the rest of his life with her? Go through with it anyway? To spare her feelings? Of course not. The counter argument is probably that he shouldn't have proposed in the first place. But that's the show. The guys propose. And if either of the people goes into finale really thinking they've found true love, then that's their naivety, and that's their fault. It's. A. SHOW.

I'm also pretty sure Melissa did not go into that "After the Final Rose" show NOT knowing she was about to get dumped. She could have refused to appear. But she didn't, so I don't feel sorry for her for being "humiliated."

As for his decision to try it with Molly, well, that's a little sketchier. But I think the honest reaction to the situation is that yes, you would automatically think, "I wonder if I chose the wrong girl?", and want to try it with Miss Runner-Up. Asking her out RIGHT AFTER YOU'VE JUST DUMPED SOMEONE, is not a classy thing to do in real life, of course. But once again, this is TV. This is not real life. And they had TV time to fill. And they happened to have Molly standing right over there....

So, in conclusion, I do not think Jason is the Worst Bachelor Ever (I think that honor goes to Bob Guiney, just for the amount of sheer disappointment we had as we watched him go from goofy-fun-guy to complete-and-utter lech), I just think he's the Bachelor With the Least Ability to Judge What Should and Should Not Be Done in Front of a National TV Audience.

A Jungle of Death!

This week's Tube Tops is now up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Man, I am one popped puppy. I had planned on taking in another day of the WonderCon, but the two days I already spent there must have caught up with me, as I woke up barely able to move, I was so tired. Instead, I think I'll spend the day on the couch reading some of the comics I got and catching up on the TiVo.

Anyway, I think I caught the best part of the convention yesterday. We saw about the first 20 minutes of "Watchmen," and it has me even more psyched to see the movie than I was before (I bought my tickets for opening night over a week ago). Which isn't to say I don't have my worries about it. For one, the actress playing Silk Spectre II looks way too young. Also, I fear Zack Snyder's slo-mo will get real annoying real fast. Also, if he sticks way too close to the book, pulling full pieces of dialogue, that could be risky. What reads good on the comic book page can sound really corny when spoken aloud in a movie. I just hope he gets the tone right...

So, a few worries. But no matter, I'll still be there this Friday night with the rest of the city's nerdy brethren.