What I Learned on My Las Vegas Vacation

I took a (relatively) spur-of-the-moment trip to Las Vegas last week with Michele, so we could, once again, bask in the blistering heat of the desert. And blistering it was: It averaged about 105º when we were there, which was pretty awesome, because when it's that hot, you don't even sweat.

I didn't actually learn that much while there--Vegas is for playin', not learnin'--but it did leave me with a few thoughts worth bullet-pointing.

* The Paris Hotel and Casino has the French thing down pat, but not in the way they probably want. The service is rude and sucky--just like in the real Paris! When we arrived at the hotel, they had a line for check-out, but didn't have anyone checking people in. Granted, we were there in the morning, before the official check-in time, but jeeze. You're a hotel. Get your shit together! So we, and about a dozen other people, had to wait, and wait, and wait until ONE person opened up a check-in counter.

The Paris also advertises that they don't charge a "resort" fee, thus making you believe their rates are good. Thing is, they charge for EVERYTHING aside from the room, so, essentially, you have to pay that "fee" anyway. The gym costs 25 bucks a day. Want to use the Internet? No such thing as free wifi there! They charge 15 bucks a DAY for in room Internet only. Meanwhile, across the street at the new Cosmopolitan, they have free wifi in the entire freakin' casino. (Also, upon check out, we saw they tried to charge us twice for that Internet, and then when I got home, I saw that they charged my credit card AND Michele's for it. OMFG!)

The night before we were leaving, I called and requested a later check-out, which they granted, giving us till 1pm. That didn't stop the maid from pounding on our door 12:15pm telling us we were supposed to be out of our room. There went her tip!

In the past, I've had a fine time staying there, and being able to sunbathe under the Eiffel Tower is still a hoot. But I can't see myself staying there ever again.

* If you want good service, you need to get the hell off the Strip and head to Fremont Street, or other parts of old Vegas. The Strip is never going to lack in customers, so they don't have to bother with things like "fast" or "friendly" service.

For our first dinner, we went to Hugo's Cellar in the Four Queens on Fremont. This place is seriously old school. They give roses to all the female guests, prepare salads table side, give you a palate cleansing sorbet between courses, and complimentary chocolate-covered strawberries with a bowl of whipped cream for dessert. The cocktails are also huge. It's pricey, but worth it!

Our second dinner was at the Golden Steer, an old steakhouse off the strip on Sahara. It was kind of dead the night we were there--which I certainly don't mind!--but I can imagine the place would be a ball when the bar's hoppin' and the piano is being played. It's your standard steakhouse, but we did get another flaming dessert, the preparation of which you can see below!



* Everything in Las Vegas costs money, even the free stuff.

* Las Vegas is a mixed bag. It's always a hoot, and I will never turn down a trip there. But it's not really a place to relax, so Palm Springs will remain my go-to-desert destination.

What I Learned on My Palm Springs Vacation

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you're probably sick of hearing about how great my trip to Palm Springs this past week was. Well, suck it, because here's a post about it!

I'll make it brief, though, and follow a format I utilized following my trip to New Orleans, and provide a list of things I learned while basking in the desert.

* I don't understand how the human body works if a room set at 75º can feel chilly when the outside temperature is 95º, but feel warm when the outside temperature is 58º. Which probably explains why I never got higher than a C+ grade for any science classes I took.

* On the one hand, I want to tell you where I stay every year to help give the place some free publicity. But on the other hand, I don't want anyone else to go there and make it crowded and gross. So, if you want to know where to stay, you'll just have to ask me...

* Some people go on vacation and dress for comfort. I think taking the opposite approach is better. Dress up and you stand out from the crowd, and you're also likely to get better service because everyone is sick of having to look at other people's feet in flip flops.

* That said, no matter how good those shoes may feel when you first start out for the evening, heat and bare feet are a recipe for blisters. Bring a spare walking pair.

* Being able to get into a pool in the middle of the night, and then step out and not feel a bit cold is total heaven.

* I think being on vacation prevents hangovers because you can't waste any time dealing with it, so your body just skips over that part.

* Roadrunners in real life don't look anything like the cartoon, but they are bigger than you'd think they are.

* Vacationing in a place popular with the retiree set is a sure way to make you feel young.

* Most of the time when I watch Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel, I just get jealous. But I can easily say that I had MUCH more fun in Palm Springs than she did. Watch these two videos, one of her at Melvyn's at the Ingleside Inn, and one of me and Michele dining at the same place, and you tell me who had a better time...

What I Learned on My Southern Vacation

Last week, I was in Baton Rouge and New Orleans visiting family. Here are some things I learned while there.

* Junebugs may have a cute name, but they are disgusting.

* Sweet tea is readily available in Baton Rouge, but not in New Orleans.

* San Francisco is an incredibly segregated and white city.

* Any time is the right time for beignets.

* Cheap shoes and muggy weather do not mix.

* Just try and find the bathrooms in the Ye Olde Original Dungeon. I dare ya.

* Baton Rouge is a maddening collection of endlessly long streets with no signs that change names indiscriminately.

* It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

* That said, it's kind of refreshing having to go outside to warm up.

* The French Quarter is like Disneyland for drinkers.

* The South loves its salt.

* Boudin balls are delicious balls.

* Balls of the testicular variety tattooed in your armpit are not so delicious, even if you are a cute female bartender.

* New Orleanians do not believe in turn signals.

* If you drive to the New Orleans Airport in the middle of the night, you will for a moment think you have taken a wrong turn and are actually driving on the tarmac, and are about to get hit by a plane. Stay calm. It's only an illusion.

* Lunch at Commander's Palace, with 25 cent martinis (of various flavors), is an awesome deal.

* Off-street parking in the French Quarter is highway robbery.

* New Orleans cab drivers might very well take you for a ride, but it will likely be an entertaining one.

* It's hard to find a real New Orleans accent in the French Quarter.

* I miss my Southern kinfolk, but am glad I live where I do.

Where's the Pool? Why's It So Cold Out? Why Isn't There a Cocktail In My Hand?

My vacation has come and gone. Alas. It was absolutely fabulous. Seven days of sitting in the sun, swimming in a pool, reading, napping, eating, and drinking. The perfect vacation, really. I wish I was still there, of course. But maybe next year.

If you haven't seen them already, you can check out my vacation pics on Flickr. Here's one of my faves. It kind of sums up the tone of the vacation quite well...

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

I am hitting the road with two other fabulous gals for a week of vegetating in 100+ degree heat. If I don't melt, I may post some pictures during my stay, so check my Flickr page for those.

And my daily posts will be going up on the SFGate Culture Blog per usual, so be sure to check those out.

Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks this would be a good opportunity to rob my apartment, please know that I have an apartment sitter. He's a bouncer who weighs about 300 pounds and his name is Tiny. Feel free to come by and say hello.

Kisses!

I Wish This Weekend Was Next Weekend...

And the weekend after that. What I'm saying is, I want to be on vacation again. Photos are here!

And, also, this week's Tube Tops is up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Remember That Time I Went to Disneyland?

That was awesome.

I'm back. Wanna see some pictures and videos? Check 'em out on Flickr. Here's a taste!

I'm Back and Bitter(er) Than Ever!

Well, I'm home from vacation. It sucks. What I wouldn't give to be back in Palm Springs, lounging by a quiet pool, sweating my ass off. It was such a fabulous trip, and it totally reminded me why people take vacations. I don't mean the kind of vacation that involves days of sight seeing and having to do this and that. I mean the kind of vacation where you spend hours doing nothing. Now THAT'S a vacation. Check out my photos here.

But now I'm home, and enjoying that last day of do-nothingness by ordering in some food and watching some movies about vacationers who get brutalized ("The Ruins" and "Funny Games"). Because if I can't be on vacation anymore, then no one else should either. And if they are, they deserve what they get.

Bon Voyagee!

Clear Skies
Originally uploaded by Rain Rain Rain

I'm taking off for vacation tomorrow morning in my brand new car (more on that later) and hope to be lounging in 100 degree heat by this very pool by late afternoon. Unless the projected thunderstorms hit, in which case I may just have to sit by that pool in the pouring rain; I am THAT determined to get some pool time.

And Another Thing

The residual effects of vacation are still hanging on. I woke up with a sore throat, a swollen lip, and a neck so stiff I could barely move it. Add to that the fact that the mosquito bites I suffered while in Louisiana seem to be getting worse. I've got huge red welts all over my legs. It's really gruesome. West Nile?

Did I mention I decided to upgrade to first class for my flight home? First time for first class, and it was pretty sweet. I don't think it was really worth the cost--although I'm not sure what would make it worth the cost. Maybe food that was actually good and not just mediocre and free? And I suppose if I were still a hard-drinking girl, the free cocktails might make it worth it. As it was it was still awful nice, what with the warm nuts (dirty!), hot hand towels, and freshly-baked cookies. Didn't really help with my fear of flying, although I did have moments of thinking, "Well, if we crash, at least I'll have plenty of leg room when it happens."

In completely unrelated news, there's a new series premiering on CBS tonight called "3 lbs" and it sounds a lot like "House" but set in the field of brain surgery. Stanley Tucci is House. Being that I've actually had brain surgery in my lifetime, I'll admit to having some interest in the show. CBS sent me a copy of the pilot along with a squishy brain, but vacation came along and I never got a chance to watch it. I appreciate the brain, though.

It's Time For the Vacation Photos!

My Louisiana photos are up! Go to the Flickr photoset to view them and read all about our trip.

A lot of the photos would probably look better after a little trip to the Photoshop, but if I did that, I wouldn't have gotten them up until after Christmas. Oh well!

Man. I'm still tired. I need a vacation to recover from my vacation!

Sho Nuff

I'm back!

And I'm pooped. The trip was great. And sad. Sad and great. Great because I loved seeing New Orleans again; I really love that town. Also great was finally meeting my three Louisiana cousins, and seeing my grandmother, uncle, and aunt again.

And it was sad because New Orleans really is just a shell of a city right now. Sure, the French Quarter and the Garden District are still pretty much the same, but drive out of it and you'll see house after house abandoned, stores shut down, and neighborhoods devastated. It's truly heartbreaking.

I have stories to tell, and many, many photos to show (and will most likely relegate the stories to their accompanying photos on Flickr. I'll tell ya when!) but for now I have a LOT of work, email, blogs, cat petting and, most importantly, television to catch up on. It's good to be home!

Am I On Vacation Yet?

This time tomorrow I should be in New Orleans, stuffing my face with a mufaletta, or a po' boy, or something else delicious and completely bad for me. Whatever I'm eating, I won't be at work, and won't be there for a whole week, and that's just plain awesome.

I can't say I'm not a little worried about the trip (airplane flight notwithstanding) especially when I realize hurricane season isn't officially over yet. And after reading articles about how some people in the city have gone so nuts that they're killing and cooking each other, (I shit you not). New Orleans has always been a dangerous city, and that certainly hasn't changed after Katrina.

But I think once I set foot in the French Quarter, and smell the unmistakable stench of booze, puke, and horse manure, all those worries will drift away. With the help of a mint julep or two.

Meanwhile, I had to board Tori today, and that was heartbreaking. She was so sad! I wish there was some kind of kitty spa I could take her to instead, but she's such a skittish cat, I don't think she'd really enjoy that either. I can't wait to leave, because the apartment is very lonely without her!

Last night I had a horrible night of waiting for MUNI. I waited 45 minutes for the 27 Bryant to take me home. There were no cabs to be had, and normally I would have just trekked up the hill, but my feet were killing me. To top it off, some guy kept passing out below me. Weird! I was standing above the Powell Street station, listening to my iPod, next to some newspaper stands, and I moved my foot, and felt something that hadn't been there previously. So I looked down and I saw that I had just kicked some guy in the head. He didn't seem to mind, as he just kind of readjusted himself.

So I moved over to another bunch of newspaper stands, and looked down at the Powell Street Station plaza. Sitting on the stairs was a young couple. The girl was obviously completely blotto, and the guy was doing his best to comfort her. She alternately pushed him away and leaned into him--when she wasn't puking, that is. So of course I had to break out the camera and film it!



I was doing that for a few seconds when I felt something brush against my feet again, so I looked down, and there was the passed-out-guy again! He had gotten up from his spot, moved over to my corner and passed out again. The hell??

All that was entertaining and everything, but it was getting close to 11 and all I wanted was to get the hell home. So I ended up having to take the Powell cable car up the hill, and narrowly dodged a flying panini some asshole decided to throw at the cable car full of tourists. And then we had to wait five minutes as one of those groups of totally annoying rollerbladers blocked the street. Gah!

Needless to say, I need a vacation. I'm hoping the hotel will have some free wifi, in which case I will do my best to post some photos and stories during the week. If not, I'm sure you'll hear all about it when I get back!

I Promise To Stop Talking About My Vacation

Eventually. But first let me talk some more about What I Did On My Summer Vacation.

I got a tan. Sort of. I couldn't lay in the 110 degree heat for very long, so I stayed in the shade as much as possible.

I got stung by a fire ant while floating on a raft in the pool. (I guess it was HIS raft or something. Sheesh!)

I saw dinosaurs and learned that evolution is a bunch of baloney! For some reason, whoever manages the dinosaurs in Cabazon, California doesn't think that whole "evolution" thing is true, and the brochures available at the gift shop, as well as their official Web site, explain as much. Weird.

I touched clothes that were once worn by Ginger Rogers, and bought a purse she May or May Not Have Owned. There's a great thrift store in Palm Springs called Celebrity Seconds, and it's full of Ginger Rogers' hand me-downs. Alas, she was a size 4 (with size 6 feet) so I wasn't able to buy any of her previous outfits, but it was still amazing to check them out. It's like a costume museum where everything is for sale.

Sheer Joy

That's what I'm feeling being back at work. Days spent floating in a pool? Free breakfasts? Fresh baked cookies at night? Pshaw! Nothing's better than what I'm doing right now.

::SOB:: Take me back!

OK...I'll survive. But will CBGB?

Travel Bloggin'!

You know, I didn't think the Chase Hotel in Palm Springs could get any better, but here I am, bloggin' away with free wifi while chompin' on a complimentary, freshly baked cookie, having just come back from a dip in the pool. I'd blog outside, but it's about 100 degrees out, and I'm afraid my little iBook might melt.

Alas, I leave tomorrow. The end has come too soon! I have noticed something, though. When the temperature gets to be about 110 degrees outside, it's almost the equivalent of a blizzard hitting, in that you really can't be outside for very long, so instead you're kind of trapped indoors. Not complaining, because the rooms are fab, just an observation...

Hey, look! A dinosaur! I went inside one today, and you'd never guess what dinosaurs subsisted on...

Gone Fishin'

Barring something really exciting happening in the next two days, I think it is safe to say that this here blog is on vacation. This lovely scene will be my view for four days straight. Hallelujah!

Unless, by some miracle, there is wireless access poolside, I don't think there will be much going on here until the beginning of August. I have the deepest faith in you all, and I know you will get through this difficult time with strength and fortitude.

Have fun at WORK, bitches!

Wedding Vows in Vegas

Made it back, and I'm still a little beat. Why are vacations so exhausting?

The wedding was awesome. Beautiful. Perfect in so many ways. And not only that, the after-wedding gathering was one of the best nights I've ever spent in Vegas. Hopefully at some point I will put up some more photos, and some video clips from the evening's karaoke, but for now, here's a candid shot of the blushing bride.

Gonna Set My Soul on FIRE!

I'm going to Las Vegas this weekend for a friend's wedding. She's getting hitched at the Flamingo, a hotel we stayed at almost a year ago (when the above photo was taken.)

I'm looking forward to it, although the whole flying thing has already got me losing sleep. I wish I was flying down with the Hip Hypnotist or the like so they could hypnotize me into thinking I'm a chicken, or that I'm actually on a cool Disneyland ride or something. As it is, I will be in a state of terror for the entire duration of the 90 minute flight.

Not to mention the terror involved in having to wear high heels for an entire afternoon once the wedding time approaches.

White

As promised, here are some photos from my trip to Tahoe over Thanksgiving. They're scenery shots mainly...

When we got to the cabin on Wednesday, there was really only snow in the mountains. The backyard was bare. But on Saturday, a storm came through, dropping over a foot of snow. We took a walk through this blizzard, but thought it best not to take a camera along. It was a freezing adventure, but fun. By Sunday, the day we had to leave, the skies were clear, and the backyard was now picture postcard pretty.

I really should move somewhere that gets yearly snow. I love cold weather (much more than warm weather) and there is nothing prettier to me than the site of fresh snow everywhere. A nice blanket of white can make even the most mundane things look magical...