TAR Was Here?!

This week's reality TV locals post is now up on SFist and it has bonus "Amazing Race" coverage as the finale took place in our very own San Francisco. How did I not hear about this back in December??!

Also, you know what's really awesome on a day when you are working at home in your apartment which is about 10 degrees warmer than it is outside (and that's pretty darn warm)? Working on a laptop that has an infamous battery that overheats regularly. So basically I am sitting in a sauna with a heater on my lap. Perfect!

Are We There Yet? I Have to Go to the Bathroom!

The next season of "The Amazing Race," as you may have already heard, will feature teams of "families." Meaning, there will be kids racing this season. And while many of the past seasons had racers that certainly acted like children, I still prefer that to the real thing.

But, of course, I'll still be watching.

More here.

Can I Really Handle That Much Excitement EVERY NIGHT?

One of the reasons I got digital cable in the first place is beginning tonight on the Game Show Network. Amazing Race reruns! While the site says they're showing at 9pm, I think my TiVo shows them as airing at 6pm. I hope TiVo is right and I don't come home to an hour's worth of "Match Game"...although, "Match Game" IS pretty awesome.

I think I already know who wins the first season, but no matter. I'm still looking forward to seeing how the game was different when it began (I hear it was a lot more challenging) and I plan to be entertained, dammit!

You Mean Jilting Cabbies Isn't Legal?

This New York Post article (which, unfortunately, you have to register to read) explains that if Uchenna and Joyce had not paid their cabbie, they would have been disqualified...ahhh. It all makes sense now, don't it?

*Phew*

Man alive. Last night's Amazing Race nearly killed me. I was, I swear to you, pacing back-and-forth in front of my TV while Uchenna and Joyce were begging for money to pay that cabbie. Oh yeah, and I was also screaming "JUST RUN IN!!!!!", much to the chagrin of my neighbors, I'm sure.

I'm not sure how close the end really was, or if Rob and Amber were really as close as the editing made it seem, but regardless, it was a nail-biter. And for once, the whole money stripping actually did seem to make a difference, as it really put Uchenna and Joyce behind--big time. But, just like it happened for Rob and Amber in Argentina, Uchenna and Joyce were able to board a plane that looked like it was already locked and loaded....hmmm.

So. A happy outcome. But I, for one, am looking forward to a long break before the next season starts.

My Local Helper Monkey is BROKEN!

There's was nothing surprising about last night's The Amazing Race. Gretchen and Meredith in last place? Check. Ron and Kelly fighting? Check. Rob and Amber recruiting a local to do all the thinking for them? Check. Rob and Amber coming in first and getting another FREAKING PRIZE?! Check.

Just bring on next week's finale. I don't care if evil triumphs, I'm done. And for once, I will be thankful for a nice long break between seasons. These last two have been heartbreakers and I need the time to heal.

Gee. I Wonder If Travelocity Has Anything to Do With This Show?

A few quick words about last night's The Amazing Race.

Oh, was it sweet seeing Rob's smugness finally bite him on the ass. Because I knew it would be a non-elimination week, I was, ironically, hoping that Rob and Amber did NOT come in last, as I just would not have been able to bear seeing them saved by non-elim. So third place was actually a much sweeter sight to see.

And oh my god, I just can't believe with all the wandering around and missing clues that are right in front of them, that Gretchen and Meredith came in second. I think they could, maybe, just maybe, literally, stumble into victory come the finale!

Ohmigah! Stop. TALKING!

Here's an EXHAUSTIVE interview with Lynn and Alex from "The Amazing Race."

Actually, there's some interesting stuff in there, if you can just get past all the jibber jabber to get to it.

Did You Cry When Joyce Shaved Her Head?

I did!

Pardon the late post. Network connectivity issues, and the ever-present JOB have gotten in the way, but I just have to say that Joyce is totally my hero for shaving her head on last night's The Amazing Race. She's a rock star. No way Amber would have done it (and oh how I wish we could have seen that instead!) But what really sucks is that even after shaving her head, and coming in first place, Joyce and Uchenna got NO REWARD!!!

I can't even begin to say how unfair that was. How many trips do Rob and Amber have now? Three? It's criminal, I tells ya!

And bye-bye to Lynn and Alex. You were kind of of awful, but I still kind of liked ya...

To Be Continued?!

I thought we avoided that crap by airing that two-hour episode a few weeks back! What the hell are you pulling, The Amazing Race? The fact that we're also due for another non-elimination round makes me thing this whole "this leg ain't over yet!" thing is dubious, at best. But whatever. It was worth it for that eyebrow raise Phil mustered at the end.

I think Ron and Kelly are a couple of scaredy cats for not Yielding Rob and Amber. How else can you explain them not doing it? Then again, Rob didn't Yield anyone either, but that might just have been because he was figuring it was probably a non-elimination leg, and it would have been pointless. (Which isn't true, by the way, because even if the team you Yielded comes in last and doesn't get eliminated, they're still in LAST place, which could be an advantage for you in the long run.)

What was up with those two guys in the office building, who kept trying to screw up the teams delivering the tea? First they did it to Rob, and then to Gretchen and Meredith. Were they just confused? Or were they really trying to screw the players up? Because that would have been awesome!

In all, I hope it is an elimination round, because I'm getting pretty tired of Gretchen and Meredith. Yeah, they've done good despite all the mishaps and penalties, but man. Gretchen's VOICE! I can't take much more of it!

Hotty Hotty Pants

It was so sad going from the thrill of last week's Amazing Race to this week's heartbreaking episode in which my favorite team, known lovingly as just "The Brothers," were booted. And they were beaten by Meredith and Gretchen, who had to leave the pit stop and go back to the roadblock to, literally, get a clue! I guess that trip to the wrong water tower at the beginning of the leg just doomed the Brothers for the rest of the day. Too bad. If Uchenna and Joyce get eliminated soon, I'll have no one else to root for. I really hope that doesn't happen.

There's controversy about Lynn's (or was it Alex's?) comment that Uchenna and Joyce were "born to" carry stuff on their heads. I don't really know where I stand on that (especially after Uchenna basically says the same thing about himself a little while later) but I do have to say I appreciated how supportive Lynn was of Alex during the Roadblock. A welcome relief from some other teams' tendency to just harp on what their partner is doing wrong during a Roadblock (RAY).

As for the POW and the Beauty Queen? She has a screw loose. Seriously.

P.S. The title of this post refers to something Phil said at the beginning of the episode when he explained where the previous pit stop had been. I SWEAR he said "hotty hotty pants."

Stay Out of Trouble. Don't Do Drugs!

What can I say? Last night's episode of "The Amazing Race" was...amazing. Its two-hours of excitement almost--ALMOST--makes up for the fact that next week's episode is a clip show. Boo!

Like I said, the fact that there was going to be a non-elimination round in there was a foregone conclusion. I'm just glad it was given to Meredith ("Meredith is the guy!") and Gretchen. If they had been eliminated after suffering a massive head wound, that would have been pretty sad. (Even if they are kind of...annoying.) The added insult of having EVERYTHING stripped from them except their passports actually doesn't seem to have mattered. I think the producers finally realized that taking away the contestants money in non-elim rounds always turns into a big MacGuffin, but I don't think taking away their clothes and stuff will really make it any worse. Unless they take away their medication and glasses, too. THEN it might get interesting.

As for part two, of course it's all about the car crash. I love the brothers. LOVE them. I was sad to see that unfortunate accident happen to them, because it wasn't like they were being dicks and driving recklessly. It was, simply, an accident. It was a good thing that Lynn and Alex stopped (not that it actually helped anyone) and it was a real assholish thing that Rob and Amber did not stop. (Slow down and give the obligatory "Is everything all right?", dickhead. Jeeze.) But Lynn and Alex's constant "THEY JUST DROVE BY!" comments to anyone who would listen was, in the end, almost worse than what Rob and Amber did. We get it. You don't like Rob and Amber. You're SOOOOOO much better than them. Now please shut up.

And yes, Rob and Amber suck. Amber's inability to make a decision at the Fast Forward proved once and for all that she adds nothing to the team, except for the fact that people recognize her all over the world. And you know what? That's not fair. It's called "unfair advantage" and it shouldn't have a place in the race. It seemed obvious that at the shopping Detour she was having trouble, and was taking a long time, if that fan hadn't come along and helped her, she probably would have been there for hours. If they end up winning, there will nothing, NOTHING fair about it.

I'm rooting for the Brothers. That footrace at the end had me on the edge of my seat, clapping for joy. And to top it off, it meant the end of Ray and Deana. WOO!

And, in case you were worried that their experience on the show was going to put an end to their relationship, don't be. Apparently, they're still together.

Oh, the humanity.

How Much Excitement Can One Person Take?

Don't forget: Tonight's episode of "The Amazing Race" is two-hours long. I think they're trying to avoid that annoying "to be continued" episode we had last season (remember? When Bolo and Lori looked doomed?) and are putting the cliff-hanger (and I think I mean that literally, as previews showed some blood on grandma, and a flipped car for, possibly, the brothers) in the middle of the episode. Betcha there's a non-elimination round in there! Also, here's something completely uninteresting: an interview with that whiny punk Patrick!

And for those who are bummed that "The Office" (which, I will admit, was really funny last week) is on at the same time, have no fear. Episodes will be re-run on CNBC, USA, AND Bravo. Sheesh! OK! We'll watch it already! Jeeze.

His Glass of Whine Is Always Half Empty

Did I mention how happy I was to see Patrick eliminated from "The Amazing Race" this week? His whiny "Why bother?" attitude was getting on my last nerve. Of course his mom blames that on the editing.

And you can add me to the list of people who think Rob and Ambah's amazing "luck" is all the work of the show's producers, who just don't want to see them leave the show. Conspiracy, I tells ya!

And The Winners of the Meat Eating Contest Are....

I know. It's just too easy.

I don't know what else to say about last night's episode of The Amazing Race except that Rob is a quitter. A big fat quitter. A quitter that was able to use the quitting rules to his advantage, but he's still a quitter, and for that, I really hope he and Amber do not win.

Of course I fault the show for creating an eating challenge that very few people would be able to actually finish. By making the challenge about the quantity of the food, and not what the food is (yeah, yeah, cow salivary glands. Whatever. That stuff was so well done I'm sure it all tasted the same), then they're just setting up a challenge that will take a long time, and most likely won't be done by most. And thus, they're making it easier for people to accept the penalty. If people are going to take two hours or more to finish eating everything, why not just take the four hour penalty?

Whatever. Rob is not some brilliant schemer. He did what others would have no doubt done as well, he just did it first.

And so I applaud Alex for getting through all that meat and making it to first place by actually racing.

Library Voices

Last night's Amazing Race was oddly dull. I'm not sure what the problem was, but the pacing seemed off, and the challenges were pretty lame. Shining shoes? Lugging books? I dunno. For someone who can be on the edge of her seat watching the racers book airplane tickets, last night bored me.

Can't say I was sad to see the blondes get eliminated. The threat of a romantic alliance between them and the brothers was too vomit-inducing to consider. (Have to admit the brothers are growing on me, though.)

Ahhhh. Rob and Ambah. I will grant that he's running a smart race, but I don't think the lying-and-then-lying-about-the-lying strategy needs to be used in this here game. If you're smart enough to get information the other teams weren't smart enough to get themselves, you have no obligation to tell them about it, and every obligation to lie. It's a RACE. But that also means you really don't have to PRETEND you're not a liar when confronted about it. Which is also why this game should never be played with "alliances." It just doesn't work.

*Phew!*

I was so pleased by last night's premiere of The Amazing Race. No boyfriends berating their girlfriends, no ugly Americans, and no dating models! It actually felt like a return to the TAR I know and love.

Except for Rob and Amber. Their constant mentioning of "Survivor" and their mugging to the camera (I think they spent more time talking to the camera than they did to each other) grew tired very, very quickly. But you've always gotta have one team to hate, and I guess, for now, they're it.

The Wicked Awesome Race

Don't forget! The Amazing Race starts up again tonight at 9 p.m. with a two-hour premiere, which is awesome because I can't even remember how that last season even ended. Nope. Don't remember who won...no, you don't need to tell me! ::La la la la la!!:: Not listening! I can't hear you!!!

Obviously, I don't know who I'm rooting for yet, but I'm pretty sure it won't be Rob and Ambah. I admit to always having a soft spot for the grandparent teams, so for now: Go Gretchen & Meredith! Wait a minute. The husband is named Meredith. "Meredith"? That's not a guy's name is it? I don't think I can condone that. So maybe I won't be rooting for them after all...

I Am In No Way Endorsing This

But some people might like to know that everyone's least favorite "Amazing Race" couple, Jonathan and Victoria, will be appearing on Dr. Phil's primetime special tonight. Will he be discussing Jonathan's abusive behavior? Or will the topic be "Famewhores and Their Neverending Quest for Another 15 Minutes"?

Remember When It Used to Be Amazing?

Well, I tried to link to a good article on Philly.com about changes that should be made on "The Amazing Race," but the link doesn't seem to be working. Agree with most of them, but would also suggest the removal of the Yield, and the stripping of money in the non-elimination rounds. These things haven't done anything to improve the show, and have rarely been an impediment to the teams they've been forced on. I'd also stop it with the damn bunching!!!

Oh, and also add that whole "Drop Your Load" team switcheroo thing we've talked about previously. That would be awesome.

Season eight is casting and this time the teams will be made up of families of four players, with the minimum age being 12. Not sure how I feel about that.