Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 8

Sundays are Dracula night on TCM, and tonight's offerings are The Return of Dracula, House of Dracula and....Billy the Kid vs. Dracula. The latter two star John Carradine as the Count.

We need a good Dracula reboot! Maybe in this same vein (sorry), where Dracula comes face to face with a superhero or something. I mean, a Batman vs Dracula couldn't possibly be worse than Batman vs. Superman, right?

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 7

Hey, did you know Creature Features is back? Kind of? Of course, "Creature Features" was a generic title for your local late night scary movie TV programming, and if you grew up in the Bay Area, it meant it was either hosted by Bob Wilkins or John Stanley, with Bob Wilkins being the obviously superior host. And it also had the superior theme song!

Unlike a lot of horror hosts, Bob Wilkins didn't have a gimmick, unless being soft-spoken while smoking a cigar can be considered gimmicky.

For better or worse, this new incarnation features a host with a definite gimmick: he's an aging British goth rocker named Vincent Van Dahl, though Jeff Bodean, the man behind the wig, is actually from Sonoma county.

I've only seen two episodes so far, and it's a little...awkward. There's not much to Bodean's shtick aside from a terrible accent, and the interviews are very stilted. Still, I appreciate the fact that a local guy decided to revive the show. And it looks like one upcoming episode has John Stanley filling in as host, so that's a bonus! Check it out tonight at 11PM on  KOFY-TV20, or online.

Stanley Host Teaser from Crowhaven on Vimeo.

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 6

Oh man you guys. I don't know why I decided to start reading Gin Phillips's book Fierce Kingdom Tuesday night, but I will admit I didn't really know exactly what it was about before I started it. I knew it was a thriller, and about a mother and her young son who get trapped in a zoo at night, and it seemed like a good thing to read around Halloween.

And wouldn't you know it, the book actually takes place during Halloween, which is a weird coincidence. But the bigger coincidence--the scarier coincidence--is why that mother and son are trapped.

It's because of a mass shooting.

When I got to chapter two of the book, I literally started hyperventilating and had to stop for a bit. But since then I've hated having to put it down, and if I had the time I imagine I'd read it in one sitting.

For some, it all might be a little too real, and too soon to read something like this. But I've always found that art helps me process terrible events better. I really can't explain why. I also had an urge to rewatch Peter Bogdanovich's movie Targets after Monday...

I imagine for most, Halloween is all about fun horror. And that's totally understandable. But sometimes I need to acknowledge that some monsters are real...

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Coutndown - Day 5

There are few horror movie scares more overused than the cat scare. At this point, if you put a cat scare in your movie, it's kind of the horror equivalent of the Wilhelm scream; it's gonna get you a laugh more than anything else.

This compilation doesn't have every cat scare ever put on film--though that's an art project I'd definitely want to see!--but it does have some good ones.

One gripe: it cuts up one of my all-time favorite cat scares, from a Halloween episode of Community. So here's that one in its entirety.

Man. I miss (good) Community.

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 4

I've barely got time to breathe this week, so today I'm just going to ask, have you seen Get Out yet? Because it's the best horror movie of the year. And yes, I know the year isn't over yet, but I really don't think anything coming down the pike is going to top it. So basically what I'm saying is, if you haven't seen it yet, run, don't walk, to....well, I guess your computer at this point since it's available to stream basically everywhere but Netflix.

There are a lot of good analyses out there, but I have to admit this examination of the film's use of milk, and its relation to white supremacy, has got to be one of the more surprising ones. (Spoiler warning.)

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 3

Boris and Bela sing the duet "The Girl Is Mine"

If you want classic Universal horror, then just plant your butt down in front TCM today starting at 5:00pm PST for Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Wolf Man, The Island of Lost Souls, The Black Cat, and The Invisible Man.

But if for some reason you have to choose only one, then let it be The Black Cat, because you've already seen The Bride of Frankenstein, the second best movie in this list, right?

If I could live in a horror movie set, I think I might choose The Black Cat's, with its art deco architecture, expressionist lighting, satin bedding, silk robes, and supernatural baloney.

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 2

I've been thinking about possible Halloween costumes and, as per usual, have nothing concrete planned, no real ideas, and not enough time to execute anything. Like, I'd love to go as Mrs. David S. Pumpkins, but that would require finding some of that Jack O'Lantern fabric, and sewing a dress. And I suck at sewing. Any questions?

Watching that sketch got me thinking about Tom Hanks's career, and if he's ever been in a horror movie. Some might say The 'Burbs counts, and as much as I love that movie I'd have to put that one in the comedy camp more than horror. (But can I just say, I love that someone actually posted an analysis of the film's Sardine Scene up on YouTube?)

No, Tom Hank's one true horror movie was, as tends to be the case with a lot of stars, also the first movie he ever appeared in, 1980's He Knows You're Alone, about a slasher who kills brides-to-be the night before their wedding.

I've never actually seen it, mainly because as a kid I was a real snob when it came to slasher movies, and I guess I still am. So many post-1978 slasher movies were such bad Halloween rip-offs that I stopped giving any of them a try.

Though I'm kind of curious to see if Hanks gets killed in it, because frankly, it looks like he's asking for it.

That bandana won't protect you, Hanksy.

Musty TV's Maniacal Halloween Countdown - Day 1

That weird, tingly feeling...in your pants.

Speaking of TCM.....

I figured I might as well start with a classic, and my usual fallback of TCM, but in looking at their schedule, I noticed something peculiar. Why would they classify the original Lugosi Dracula and the sub-par Son of Dracula as Horror, but deem the excellent Dracula's Daughter a Drama?

Some may see this as nitpicking, but here's the thing. If you want to see all the horror movies TCM is airing in a given week, and you sort their listings by that genre tag, you'd miss Dracula's Daughter.

Also, what's up with these classifications?

Basically what I'm saying is Turner Classic Movies needs to hire me to fix their genre tags. Call me!

But back to Dracula's Daughter, which, despite having "Dracula" in the title, does not feature an appearance by Bela Lugosi, who actually only ever played the Dracula character twice on screen: in the original, and in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. The daughter, ("Marya Zaleska"), is played by Gloria Holden, and I guess the Count brought her up in mid-Atlantic America, because she doesn't have her father's accent. She does however, have a magic hypnotizing ring. I mean, just look at the size of it. I'd be mesmerized!

"Do you like it? Only $15 bucks on Etsy!"

Also, look for an appearance by gossip queen Hedda Hopper as a party host trying to push some sherry on Ms. Zaleska. You can catch the riveting "drama" at 6:30pm, PST, tonight on TCM.

This Blog Is Alive! ALIVE!

Yes kiddies, this blog is once again coming back from the dead in order to participate in the blog-based Countdown to Halloween.

And this time it's a big one. It's my TENTH year participating in the countdown. Ten years! I can hardly believe it. Ten years ago I wasn't active on Facebook or Twitter, and Instagram didn't exist. Blogging was my main outlet for whining speaking to the world, and I did a lot of it. Check out the archives on the right for proof. Or just jump back to that first Countdown post here.

But this year I'm going to do something a little different. In the past, I would list at least one scary movie or Halloween themed TV show that was airing somewhere on cable each day of the countdown. But since I no longer have cable, (yes, I cut the cord! Me! Who watches too much TV and brags about it!) and tend to have no real idea when things are actually airing anymore, I'm going to be a little less rigid with the countdown.

I still watch TCM, albeit streaming now, and they're always the go-to for good fare this time of year, so I'm sure I'll be letting you know when they've got something worth checking out on a given day. And I DO still have broadcast TV, and there's actually some good stuff to be found there, too.

But there may be days where I'll just want to talk about a good scary movie that you can watch online, or in theaters. Or I may just post a spooky YouTube video. Or some clips from my favorite horror flicks. Or something else entirely! Who knows! It's my 10th Anniversary with the countdown. Anything could happen!

So tune in tomorrow, October 1st, for the beginning of my favorite time of year, and the rebirth of this dusty and musty corner of the interwebs.

Hate to See You Go, But I Love to Watch You Leave!

Ya'll come back now, ya hear!

In the hopes that some of my Countdown to Halloween visitors may stop by from time to time, figured I'd tell people where they can read more of my stuff!

I'm the movie critic for SFist.com, and post new reviews there every Friday; come on by! This Friday I'll have a review of Doctor Strange, and next Friday I'll have one for Arrival. Here's the archive of all my past reviews and columns.

I also write a column called Ask a San Francisco Native. Have any burning questions you'd like to ask someone who was born, raised, and still lives in San Francisco? Send one my way!