All the World's a Critic...

...including me. Kind of. Actually, I have my own opinions about what film criticism is, and what movie reviewing is, and I definitely fall into the "reviewer" camp. So, yes, I am currently reviewing movies for the San Francisco Appeal, and you should check my reviews out! Below are links to what I've covered thus far. New reviews most Fridays. (Hopefully the movies will get better than they have been...)

Paul
The Lincoln Lawyer
Red Riding Hood
The Adjustment Bureau
Hall Pass

January Round-Up - 2011

January was my first full month of freedom from work, and I began it by getting sick. Doh! Actually, that wasn't so bad. I was only really sick for about two days, and I was able to just get through it without the associated worry and guilt about missing work. Once I felt better, I did my best to take advantage of my new found freedom with lots of daytime adventures: lunches with friends, and even some mini-trips, including an overnight in Monterey, and a weekend in Disneyland. Aside from some lingering worries about the future, it was a pretty great month!

Movies Seen: Eleven, with two in a theater. The two theater viewings were "Black Swan" and "True Grit." I liked "Black Swan," even if it was a tad silly, but liked "True Grit" even more. That movie proves it's better to remake bad films than good ones. (Although, I don't technically think it's a remake. Since both are based on the same book, it's more accurately described as another adaptation.) Of the DVDs, (or VODs, as it were), I watched, the best was "Inception," although I wasn't as blown away by it as others seemed to be. The worst is a toss up between "Dinner For Schmucks" and "Buried." "Buried" probably pissed me off more, but I can't really say why without spoiling the movie.

Books Read: Six. Six! Six books! In one month! The first was "Talking to Girls About Duran Duran," by Rob Sheffield. I read his "Love Is a Mix Tape" in one night, so I was anxious to read this one. It's not quite as engrossing, but anyone who grew up in the '80s and had even a passing interest in music will probably find it a good read.

The next was "Gunn's Golden Rules" by Tim Gunn, and I read it in one day, the first day I was sick; I just lay in bed all day reading it. The biggest irony about the book is how he talks a lot about how you should treat people well, and be kind, while also dishing a WHOLE LOT about badly-behaved celebrities he's met. Sure, the behavior he describes is worst than the act of gossiping he's displaying, but still...

Next up was a Christmas gift: "Rat Girl" by Kristen Hersh. It's a memoir about the year she got a record deal with her band, Throwing Muses, found out she was bipolar, and got pregnant. Oh, yeah, she was also a teenager at the time. Whoa! Biggest revelation: She was good friends with aging former movie star Betty Hutton. Weird!

Steve Martin's "An Object of Beauty" was another book I read in about a day. The best thing about it was his inclusion of images of all the paintings and works of art he talks about in the book. It helped me avoid a bunch of Googling as I was reading it.

"A High Wind in Jamaica" by Richard Hughes is a book I had never heard about until a friend gave it to me for my birthday. It's basically a story about a bunch of kids who are kidnapped by pirates, but end up being far scarier and amoral than the pirates holding them captive. It's pretty great.

Lastly was "I Remember Nothing" by Nora Ephron, a collection of brief but amusing essays. And when I say brief, I mean, some of the chapters are just lists of things. Brief.

Fancy Dinners Out: Four. Birthday month! First was dinner at the Buckeye Roadhouse in Marin. We had an amazing oysters appetizer and I had a pork chop entree. Delish. But the highlight was the S'mores pie. I am drooling just thinking about it.

I had my usual birthday night dinner at La Traviata, and then that weekend I was off to Disneyland. There we had two kinda fancy dinners. The first was at DCA's Wine Country Trattoria, where we partook in the the prix fixe deal that also gets you priority seating at the World of Color. The dinner itself was OK, but the highlight was definitely dessert, in which you are not given a choice of desserts; you are given ALL THE DESSERTS. For reals.

Lastly was dinner at the Disneyland Hotel's Steakhouse 55. I got a prix fix menu that included a flat iron steak, a cut I had never heard about, that turned out to be AWESOME. It's now something I will order anytime I see it on a menu.

Live Shows Seen: Well, does "The World of Color" at Disney's California Adventure, and "Fantasmic!" at Disneyland count as a live show? I mean, at least one involved live performers and jazz hands, so I think so...

Shoes Bought: One pair. I had been waiting for these Isabel Toledo for Payless shoes to go on sale for a while, because as much as I love them, I was not willing to pay close to 50 bucks for a pair of Payless shoes. Thankfully they were marked down considerably, and just in time for my birthday. I wore them at my "party" and, miraculously, didn't fall once!

Me and TV

Here's an irony: Ever since I lost my job, I have actually watched less television, not more.

Crazy right?

There are a few reasons for this. One is the fact that sometimes during the week, I actually leave my house and do stuff. (I swear I do!) One would think that when I was working I was also "doing stuff," but the fact is I always had some kind of show playing while I was working, either at home on my TV or at the office on Hulu or the equivalent. Of course, most of the shows I was watching I was "watching." I wasn't devoting my complete attention to them, but treated them more like background music, paying enough attention to follow the plot, if not the intricacies. As such, most of the shows I would choose to watch this way weren't shows I was really invested in, but felt compelled to keep up with just because.

But TV is less of a background thing now, and actually something I make time to sit down and watch, and in doing so, I have become a lot less tolerant of shows that don't offer anything unique or aggressively entertaining. As a result, I have been deleting season passes left and right. Here's a list of shows I've recently given up on:

"The Bachelor"
"Chuck"
"No Ordinary Family"
"Kitchen Nightmares"
"Southland"
"Hellcats"
"Nikita"
"Blue Bloods"

This TV trimming has also resulted in me being a lot less willing to adopt new shows into my schedule. "The Chicago Code" has gotten some really good reviews, but I watched the pilot, and it really didn't give me anything that "Southland" or "Blue Bloods" wasn't giving me, and if I wasn't willing to watch those, I wasn't willing to watch this. Seriously, if you're going to bring a new cop show, or lawyer show, or medical show into the TV landscape, it had better be something incredible. That's why "Off the Map" is off my TiVo, and "Harry's Law" and "Fairly Legal" are in contempt of court. (Sorry.)

But even with these cuts, I still watch a lot of crap. I will admit that. Every night seems to bring me some set of Housewives, and "American Idol" continues its hold. For whatever reason, I still (kind of) watch "V." (Man. I need to stop with that. BUT I WANT TO SEE ALIEN BABIES.) I watch "Glee" just so I can hate it, and lord save me, but I actually kind of think "Mike & Molly" is funny.

The shows I actually look forward to, and will give my complete attention to, are few and far between. I'm glad I didn't give up on "Fringe" when I wanted to, during its first season, because it has become really, really good this year. I fear its Friday night fate. "Parenthood" is another show I could barely tolerate when it first started but has improved immensely. "Community" remains the funniest comedy on TV, and "An Idiot Abroad" is the best travel-related show EVER.

So, me and TV aren't through. Not nearly. But unless I get another job that requires me to sit in front of computer screen for eight hour stretches, I think my TV gluttony has come to an end...

December Round-Up - 2010

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. December included Christmas, parties, and other fun. It also included both me and my mother getting laid off from our (unrelated) jobs, and the death of my parents' dog, Dimey. I was kind of glad to kiss the month, and the year, goodbye. But lets look at some of December's more entertaining moments, so to speak.

Movies Seen: Fifteen, with two in a theater. Those two were a "Noir Christmas" double feature at the Castro. Of the two, only "Mr. Soft Touch" was noirish, and only marginally. The other, "Remember the Night," written by Preston Sturges, was a comedy, and not noir at all. Still, it was a fun night at the movies...

Of the home viewed films, "Exit Through the Gift Shop" was the most entertaining, while the Adam Sandler movie "Grown Ups" was the most painful. Shocker.

Books Read: Two. Well, two that I finished. I spent much of the month reading Dickens' "Oliver Twist," as I thought it would be nice to read some Dickens in December. (I swear I came up with that plan before Oprah did.) Alas, it was a difficult read, and I eventually gave up. I know it's a classic and all, but hoo-boy, is it redundant. I just couldn't read about Oliver thinking he's in the clear only to be betrayed and back to a life of misery so many times before it just started to feel like a G-rated version of De Sade's "Justine"...

Ironically, one of the two books I did finish in December was "Black House" by Stephen King and Peter Straub. It's a sequel to their collaboration "The Talisman," and the title is actually a play on Dickens' "Bleak House." I am not sure how much it has in common with that book, (and probably never will) but I can say that like "Oliver Twist" it was kind of tough to get through. Let's just say it was looooong.

Finally, I read one of my Christmas gifts, "Fragments," which is basically a collection of notes, journal entries, and other ephemera scribbled upon by Marilyn Monroe. It probably would hold absolutely no interest to anyone but a Marilyn fan, but I found it pretty fascinating...

Fancy Dinners Out: None! Well, except for a birthday dinner for my mother at our usual, La Traviata.

Live Shows Seen: None! But I did go to the Dickens Christmas Fair again this year, which was fun. More fun than "Oliver Twist"!

Shoes Bought: None! I swear! At least that I can remember...

Twentieth Anniversay of My First (Legal) Drink

I think I usually post something on my birthday? Yes? I mean, Facebook shouldn't have all the fun. So, here's something a friend posted on my wall, which might make your head explode...



And my all time favorite bit of birthday torture...

Merryville!

Maybe it's just because I will be going to the Greatest Amusement Park Ever at the end of the month, but this sketch on SNL last night made me laugh. A lot.

November Round-Up - 2010

I am quite anxious to kiss this crappy year to the curb, and I will do just that in a few short hours. But that doesn't mean I can't take a few minutes to remember November, which, frankly, feels like it was just yesterday..

Movies Seen: Thirteen, with none in a theater. And frankly, none were that great. I suppose the most interesting was a double feature of "The Expendables" and "JCVD," although I came away thinking the former could have used some Jean-Claude Van Damme, and the latter could have used some Expendables....

The worst was probably "Four Christmases." Yeah, what was I expecting, right? I think its taking place in San Francisco was one of the main reasons I decided to check it out; that and the fact that I am a sucker for many Christmas movies. I never understand why TV shows and movies decide to set a movie in S.F. when there really is no reason to, especially when they aren't actually filming the crux of the production here. The movie's S.F. location is just laughable. Both of the characters' families are supposed to live in the "Bay Area" but both are filled with family members with Southern accents, which just doesn't make any sense. Also, they manage to visit four different family homes in a single afternoon, lord knows where exactly, although it requires at least one trip over the Golden Gate Bridge.

I've already wasted too many words on that dumb movie. AVOID!

Books Read: One. Which is to say I only finished one, but actually spent most of the month reading a different book. So, that'll come next month. This month's book was "I Know I Am But What Are You?" by Samantha Bee, probably best known for her work on "The Daily Show." The first half is about her childhood, but I actually enjoyed the latter half of the book, in which she talks about her marriage and that time her cat had sex with her head.

Fancy Dinners Out: One, at--you guessed it--Town Hall, this time for Jess's birthday. I had steak. It was great.

Live Shows Seen: One! I actually went to a live show! Granted it was part of a benefit for a friend's film, so I can thank her for getting me out of the house to take in a show by the Meat Sluts. They were good. They were loud.

Shoes Bought: One pair. I wanted a go-to pair of heels that could be worn with vintage and modern clothes, that were also comfy enough to get me through an evening, and figured I should give dancing shoes a shot. And these fit the bill! They are very cute, and oh so comfortable as well. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for stylish + comfort.

Don't Stop the Pop! Or the Clock! Or the Pop, Some More!

I've been excited for this all month, and it is finally here! DJ Earworm's United States of Pop mash-up for 2010:



I never thought I could tolerate Ke$ha in any form, let alone Katy Perry, but this mash-up manages to make them listenable...

You can watch 2009's mashup here, and 2008's here, (that one's still my fave).

Here's DJ Earworm's post about the song, which includes a link to download the MP3.

Happy Festivus, Georgie!

"You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought."

Happy Get a Life Day!

Here's the thing: I LOVED "Star Wars" when it came out in 1977. Loved. And I loved it in 1978. In fact, the movie must have still been showing in theaters then because I know I had a birthday party that was primarily an excuse to see "Star Wars" again with a bunch of friends, and that would have been in January of '78...

Which is why I find it so puzzling that I have absolutely no memory of watching the infamous "Star Wars Holiday Special" when it aired in 1978. Did I just not know about it? We had a TV, and I know I was watching a lot of it at that age, so it seems odd that I wouldn't have heard about it. Did I actually see it, and block it completely out of my memory because the awfulness of it was so traumatic? Did my parents keep its existence a secret because they knew if would be awful, or, more likely, because there was something else on at that time that they wanted to watch?

I may never know. But part of me is glad I missed it as a kid--or forgot about it completely--because I think it might have permanently tainted my "Star War" love had I seen it, and that was something that I'm grateful didn't happen until the prequels were released. (Well, OK, it kind of began to happen towards the end of "Return of the Jedi," but let's pretend it didn't.)

Regardless, I'm happy it's relatively easy to watch these days, even if the video quality is for crap. Happy Life Day, everyone!