Noooooooooooooo!

Rumors are buzzing that Chris Noth is going to replace Vincent D'Onofrio on L&O:CI. I guess the producers are fearing a complete and total meltdown from Vince, and they've got Chris waiting in the wings. Now, I loved Noth as Mr. Big on Sex and the City. But I just can not fathom a week without an opportunity to watch Vincent acting slightly nutty on "L&O." All I can suggest is that you NOT watch Noth's guest appearance in January. Maybe low-ratings will convince the powers-that-be that it's a bad idea...

I'm Back, and Boy Are My Turkey Wings Tired!

Yes, my trip to the winter wonderland is over, darn it. And now I must ease myself back into the daily grind.

I will hopefully get some pictures from my trip up soon, but until then, perhaps you would like to totally get spoiled and read about Ken Jennings and his possible Jeopardy! loss.

Or you could check out SFist and read my San Francisco-centric TV picks (or anti-picks) for the week...

Or you could post a comment. Don't be afraid!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm heading for the hills and won't be back until Monday. Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone! And be sure to visit The Hunger Site. Your clicks really do help!

Eat. Sit. Watch TV.

You can check out my guide to Thanksgiving TV viewing over on SFist now.

Doesn't that TV dinner look deeelicious?

When the Going Gets Weird, Anchor Men Punt

The 2008 election isn't going to be quite as fun now that Dan Rather has announced he plans to step down come 2005.

In tribute here are a couple of sites offering collections of his zingier malapropisms from the 2004 and the 2000 presidential elections.

IMDb Can Be So Cruel

In writing my post for SFist this week (link coming soon), I came across Anne Bancroft's Internet Movie Database page. Does someone at IMDb have a beef with Anne? Or has marriage to Mel Brooks just rubbed off on her?

I Was Really Hoping They Had Just Given Up

The always on the horizon, but never actually in production Watchmen has found a director: Paul Greengrass.

Who?

Exactly.

I never really had a dream director in mind for this, as I never thought it could be made into a successful two-hour movie in the first place. It's just too epic. I think HBO should have turned it into a series, and brought every single aspect of the comic to the show. It could have gone on for at least two seasons! It would have been AWESOME! Alas, mere pipe dreams...unless this proposed version turns out as successfully as previous attempts have.

In the meantime, let the casting controversies begin!

Hang In There Little Buddy!

Poor Vincent. Seems he's suffering from exhaustion, which is usually Hollywood code-speak for "nervous breakdown," isn't it? Seriously, since his is the only Law & Order I ever watch, I hope he does pull himself together and continues with the show. I needs me my weekly dose of Vince, lest I suffer from my own nervous breakdown.

It Ain't Whiskers On Kittens

If you'd like to watch housewives' heads explode, and spontaneously start speaking in tongues, then be sure to tune in to her show today for Oprah's Favorite Things 2004. Believe me, that SNL sketch doesn't do the real thing justice. [warning: link opens QuickTime movie]

Dig Those Powerful Thighs

You know what? I got nothing. I'm lucky if I can find time to pick my nose (and a lot of time that can take.) But there is this post on SFist about Godzillafest. Enjoy!

The Lady and the Fox

It's kind of hard to come off the intensity that is Lost and then sink into the regal silliness that is Regency House Party, but that is exactly what I did last night. I liked this week's "Lost" more than last week's, and am lamenting the fact that I have to wait two weeks before the next episode. Stupid Bachelor finale!

For those of you watching "Regency House Party" you might be interested to know that (as of last week), Lady Davenport and Mr. Fox-Smith are still a couple. She's 58. He's 33. How awesome is that?

TV Is Better Than an Afterwork Cocktail

Man. Last night's premiere of The Amazing Race kicked some solid butt, in the form of pro-wrestler Bolo(!) Five minutes into it, and he's complaining about pain in his calve muscles. This ain't a staged showdown, brother! But at least he and his wife have "street suave." That'll do them good.

Coming home from a hellish day at work to an episode of TAR was just what I needed. And tonight, I've got Lost. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!

Well. I take that back. If I could get paid to sit on my ass and watch TV all day (while knitting) well, THEN life couldn't get any better. But I will be doing just that for four days in Tahoe next week, with paid vacation, so my dream will be realized for at least a little while.

Speaking of "Lost," fans are abuzz with theories about its weirdness. I'm still on the fence about just what the hell is going on, but I kind of like the purgatory idea.

No Time for Food!

Or fun! Or blogs!

It sucks having a job where they want you to actually like...work and stuff. Feh! I need to tell the world what to watch on TV tonight. Don't they understand priorities??

Well, I was able to write my weekly SFist column, which you can go check out now. Or, if you'd rather not, here's a summary: The Amazing Race 6 starts tonight, and I am peeing my pants with excitement, (I am! No time to go to the bathroom!) House also premieres tonight on Fox, but I can't care about that because of TAR, and then there's something about old cars, and guys who fart. Err. That doesn't sound right. Maybe you really should just go read it for yourself.

R.I.P. O.D.B

I hope a few forties were spilled over the weekend for the late Ol' Dirty Bastard, (alias Big Baby Jesus, alias Dirt McGirk, alias Russell Jones, alias Squeaky Fromme). And, as pointed out by TV Tattle, what ever happened to this show?

I Don't Wanna Wait, For My Trapper Keeper To Be Over...

I have to go to a class today and tomorrow (Wooo! Party! Spring Break!) and see if there is anything more I can learn about the films of Alfred Hitchcock. Isn't finer education grand? Anyhoo, I can't post anything else today, so here's an article about the new Cartoon Network show Tom Goes To the Mayor, from producer Bob Odenkirk.

Fainting Is SO Sexy!

My fave "Law and Order" detective fainted on the set yesterday and rumor has it, he's going nuts.

I don't know why, but that just makes me love him all the more. Unless he starts to sit in a latrine with a shotgun at his side. A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

Disappointment. At Last!

Last week's episode of Lost was the first to disappoint me. Just a little. Just enough, so that now I can sit back and not worry about the inevitable let-down. Kind of like getting that first scratch on a new car.

The moth metaphor was a little too obvious to me, and Charlie's backstory was full of equally leaden cliches. I still liked it, though. But I have to say Kate's dry-humping of Jack is getting a little tired. Just do it already. Sheesh!

Anyway, I know some of you have yet to watch The Best New Show On TV, and for shame and all that. But do know that my tape of the season continues to grow, and is available for rental once it hits the six-hour mark. If you dare start watching in the middle, here's a basic guide to the show and its main characters. But don't read it if you don't want to be spoiled.

Also, Regency House Party continues tonight at 9:00 on PBS. Have to say, I am loving this show, while also being annoyed at some of its participants. People who go onto a reality program like this and then complain that it's too restrictive get no sympathy from me. I mean, when you were chosen to be on the show did you not at least go and rent Pride and Prejudice? Did you not crack open a Jane Austen book? Did you really think you'd be able to share snuff with the guys and hang out with them all day drinking? Get over it!

Also love the fact that there's a resident hermit on the estate. I wish I had a house big enough to home a hermit.

Saving Ryan's Privates

Two ABC affiliates in Iowa won't be running the previously scheduled uncut airing of Saving Private Ryan on Veteran's Day for fear of fines from the FCC.

OK. Why is Iowa the only affiliate afraid of fines? I think it has something to do with having to start the movie at 7:00pm, or "family time," but I think ABC would cover any FCC fines.

Of course, if the FCC is going to impose fines on anything, I would agree that 30 minutes of uncut graphic violence is much more disturbing and potentially traumatic than a flash of nip. But because I don't see them as being anywhere near rational, I don't think any fines will imposed at all.

And I also have to add that I hate "Saving Private Ryan." I don't think any anti-war film should be crafted so that at the end you are cheering for the demise of the enemy. One of my favorite reviews of the movie gets the point across much better than I ever could. Read it. Now!

Do It....Now!

Go visit SFist and check out my latest TV column. And while you're there, share your opinions about the best burritos to be found in the City.

Mmmmm. Burrito! The seed has been planted, and now it's all I want for lunch. The thing about eating a huge burrito at lunchtime, though, is there's nowhere to take the inevitable post-burrito nap around here!

I Don't Know About the Show

But get a load of those teeth! Richard Branson's grill may be the visual equivalent of Donald Trump's hair in the new "The Apprentice" rip-off The Rebel Billionaire: Branson's Quest For the Best, which premieres tonight.

A sky-diving, British billionaire sending his 16 young wannabees on such challenges as airplane wing-walking? Meh. Bored now. I'll wait another week for the premiere of The Amazing Race 6, thank you very much.

Good-Bye To You

Bands Reunited returns tonight, and the band being mugged (as that is how the confrontations always come across to me) is Scandal. You remember Scandal, right? With lead singer Patty "Don't Call Her Smith" Smyth? I was never a big fan. I think she has a great voice, but their music was always way too commercial for me. No edge. Aside from the ridiculous outfits seen in their videos.

Laugh? Or Set My Head on Fire?

The new seasons of The Simpsons and Arrested Development start this Sunday.

Hooray! I don't think I've ever needed to laugh as much as I do now. And thank God for The Daily Show these last two days. If it wasn't around, I think I'd probably be curled up in a fetal position in my bed right now, begging for mommy to make the nightmare stop. I especially liked Lewis Black's comment last night, which was roughly: "Well, on Tuesday, the voice of America was heard. And I am not going to repeat it out of respect for the retarded."

OK. Maybe I Care a Little

You can watch that "Star Wars 3" trailer for free here.

I'm always afraid to let my inner "Star Wars" geek come through, but I will admit to getting little chills when I heard James Earl Jones' voice, and when I saw those two buns on the sides of Natalie Portman's head. But I think it's my love of the first two films (or last two. Whatever.) that's behind that.

I will NOT get my hopes up. I WON'T!

I Wish I Could Care

But I just don't. For those who do, the "Star Wars: Episode III" teaser trailer premieres on the official site today. I think you need to join the geekdom to be able to view it. Or you can just go see The Incredibles this weekend (which I recommend doing anyway) and catch the trailer there.

Something to Live For

The new cast of The Surreal Life has been announced and it includes Mini Me, Peter Brady, a Go-Go, and America's First Next Top Model.

It'll start in January...but we need it now!

You can make do with re-runs of the current Surreal Life and relive the legendary love between Brig and Flav.

I Hear Vancouver Is Beautiful...

Apartments aren't too expensive. And Canada seems pretty welcoming to new citizens...

At Least I Can Bury My Head in Some Good TV

Ah, sweet TV. Always there to soothe my troubles. Tonight I can just turn on the tube and pretend it didn't happen!

Of course, I don't need to remind you that a new episode of Lost is on at 8:00. Man. The show just keeps getting better. It astounds me every week, and the last episode had me crying like a baby.

At 9pm, on channel 9, we've got the premiere of Regency House Party. Think of as The Bachelor meets Manor House. Kind of. It's another "back in time" reality series, but this time the participants get to pretend they are in a Jane Austen novel, and they must woo each other accordingly. I am all over it like a widowed countess on a table full of crumpets. I have no idea what that means.

If you miss it tonight (and the next three Wednesdays) it will be re-run early Friday mornings at 3:00am.

TV. It's good for what ails ya.

B-b-b-b-ut---the Redskins LOST!

Someone want to recheck the score for that Redskins-Packers game? Because it was obviously wrong.

I find it very hard to be cheery about anything this morning. It's a tough day. Living in San Francisco I often forget that the rest of America is not us, and apparently INSANE, so in a sense I suppose it's a good wake-up call. Although I'd rather go back to sleep. For four more years.

And, even though he does bug me a lot, I want to hear what Michael Moore has to say about it all. So far, he's still stuck in last night's final glowing moments of hope.

Look At MEEEEEEEEEE!

My latest post on SFist is up. Look for "SFist Watches: TV This Week." And then read the rest of the site, because it's awesome.

With a Poll Like That, I'm Surprised He Can Gallup At All

From the Letterman show: Top Ten Punchlines to Dirty Election Jokes.

Now. GO VOTE!

Hello Birthday

It disturbs me a bit that I am older than Hello Kitty. But personally, I think she's had some work done.

And I wonder why as a kid I always thought Hello Kitty was a boy. A boy with a bow in his hair...er, fur. It still seems weird to me that she's a girl. What's up with that?

File This Under "Whoopdie-Friggin'-Do."

Yaaaaaaawn. But then again, maybe his dialogue won't be quite so excruciating if it's spoken in another language. And we can also add our own subtitles to the mess.

The Redskins Lost

So, if the legend holds true that means Kerry will win tomorrow.

But that's still not an excuse to not vote, ya hear what I'm sayin'?

And In the Fifth Ending, Carrie Marries and Dumps Aidan. Again. Just for Giggles.

The DVD release of the final Sex and the City episodes contain some alternate endings. Thank goodness they went the way they did, or I would have been all kinds of pissed.

Pieces of Eminem....Mmmmmm

Glad to see I wasn't the only one wondering about Eminem's "live performance" on SNL this weekend. At first I thought he was doing it as a joke. I didn't think there'd be any way he'd do the show without commenting on the Ashlee snafu. But unless it was a very SUBTLE jab, I think he just did the same damn thing. Oh well. I guess it's just too many lyrics for one little rapper to remember. I kind of like the video, though.