Where Is Everybody?

More specifically, where am I?

Well, I'm on vacation. And while I haven't actually GONE anywhere, I am not by my computer much, nor will I be for the rest of the week. Come the 4th of the new year, things will get back to normal, but until then, this little blog will be pretty silent...

So Happy New Year! And please to enjoy this week's SFist post...

Merry Christmas!

And I'll let Martha say the rest...

Don't Forget!!

Tomorrow is Festivus ! Get out the silver pole and prepare to air those grievances! But hold the tinsel. Tinsel is distracting.

It's not too late to send out those Festivus cards. Here are a couple of places you can find some.

There's Just Too Much to Do

Why am I forced to sit here in the office when no one else is here and nothing's really getting done? Well, thankfully, this is my last day at work until January 4th, which is just too awesome. Come tonight, the frantic catching up begins, with more last minute shopping, and knitting, and fretting.

But since I have a few minutes I thought I'd share a few photos.

Last Saturday I had a small Christmas party. (Small being the operative word. You can't get more than 6 people in my place without it turning into a scene out of a Marx Brothers movie.) Doesn't my place look nice and warm and slightly brothel-ish?

My tree is ridiculously large. Every year I tell myself I'll get a shorter one, or if I can't get a shorter tree, I'll at least get a thinner one. And every year I end up with a ginormous tribute to Christmas crowding me out of my living room. (I wish you could see what was on the TV when I took this photo, as it was--I swear!--a monkey getting a bath.)

In the end, I love having that 6+ foot tree in my window. Where else could I hang all those lights and adored ornaments?

But I'll admit, come January 1st, I usually can't wait to get that thing out of there and reclaim the little space I already have. The Christmas spirit, she is a fickle mistress...

It Is Amazing the Things He Can Do

If Jonathan was talking about his amazing feats of assholery, then I have to admit he has a point.

Last night's Amazing Race was a step up from last week in that Jonathan finally got some of what's coming to him (watching him get kicked out of that cab was all kinds of satisfying.) I really, really, REALLY hope they get eliminated soon. I don't care if he ends up sobbing in a pile of his own filth after some roadblock, no amount of humiliation he might experience is worth me having to see him wander around Europe shirtless and screaming at the locals anymore.

As for Lori and Bolo, I hope the odd "To be continued" nature of this episode means that their fate isn't so clear-cut, as it would seem there's just no way they aren't heading towards eminent elimination. I like them. I like them a hell of a lot more than the aforementioned team, and Kendra and Freddy, that's for sure. And I certainly wouldn't mind seeing Bolo shirtless at least one more time...

Warning: Bad Pun Ahead

This week's SFist column is up. Go there now! Yule not be disappointed!

(Sorry. I just can't help myself.)

Don't Worry. She's Fine. (She Just Walked Into a Door...)

Don't forget, tonight's episode of "The Amazing Race Towards Vilification" airs tonight at 8:00pm and not 9:00pm.

Apparently producers told jerkwad Jonathan to cut it the hell out after the shoving incident in Berlin. We'll have to watch and see if he actually listened.

Meanwhile, on their site, Victoria maintains that she's "fine."

I'm Freakin' Out Here!

I mean, Christmas is only a few days away!! I have so much to do! How can I possibly get it all done AND still watch the important TV that needs to be watched?

Well, I think the TV gods understand this dilemma, and they have thankfully kept this week pretty clear of important TV events (except for The Amazing Race, of course, which will air tomorrow at 8:00pm and not 9:00pm, so be sure to make a note of it!) and are instead packing the week with re-runs. *Phew.* I have never been so thankful that there is nothing good on TV to watch.

The Most Thrilling!....Boardroom!....zzzzzzz

As boring as it was, I've got a little more to say about the "Apprentice" finale over on SFist...

Ummmm....Pigford?

America's Next Top Model's last name is Pigford.

Oh Eva. I'm so sorry! And I really hope you go the "Twiggy," "Verushka," and "Iman" route and just go by "Eva" from now on. We promise to throw in "The Diva" whenever we can.

You're Fired. You're Hired. *Yawn*...I'm Tired

Could that Apprentice finale BE any longer? Sheesh! Donald polling each member of the 1,000 seat audience. The breakdown by his Chief Operations Manager (what was THAT all about?!) The unwelcome return of Omarosa. The O'Jays screwing up the ONE song they got to sing. The damn show would. Not. End.

And Kelly won. Blah blah blah big woop.

Cinderelly

The long-lost original live TV broadcast of Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring Julie Andrews, will be airing tonight on PBS at 7:30pm. (A rerun will air Sunday at 11:30am.)

I remember seeing re-runs of the made-for-TV movie version starring Lesley Ann-Warren, but apparently, this Julie Andrews version hasn't been seen since its 1957 broadcast. I'm not a big fan of musicals, but I'm still kind of excited to see this. It'll be a little like watching a piece of TV history, in all its grainy, black-and-white glory...

Want a Free TiVo?

You know you do. And as reported by the fine folks at SFist, one can be yours if you are a Comcast cable subscriber and you show up at their headquarters in Alviso (?!) tomorrow morning. Awesome.

He Was Deeply Sadden [sic sic and double sic]

Well, Jonathan attempts to apologize for his "Amazing Race" antics on his site and manages to come off as a bigger idiot than ever. "I was deeply sadden"? And "what you see is a heighten version of stress and obsession mix with medication for a sickness called Sarcoidosis..."?

OK. Is that medication called "crack"? Because his behavior really comes across as the insanity of someone on a coke binge.

I Want More Than Seven Inches.

Dude. I didn't say that. Adam on last night's The Amazing Race did. And that was the high-point of an otherwise disturbing episode. Kendra's comments about how the people in Senegal "just keep breeding and breeding" was jaw-dropping, but it was nothing compared to the behavior of lord-king-douchebag Jonathan as he pushed and screamed at his wife in the race to the finish line because, God forbid they should come in SECOND!!! Of course there's no mention of this on their "blog" but I recommend using the site to send him a nasty email. Or better yet, a nice computer virus.

For a really good recap of the episode that includes a video clip of the disturbing moment, be sure to check out the always fabulous TVGasm.

You Didn't Hear About the Polar Bear?

Don't forget: ABC is re-running the two-hour premier of Lost tonight at 8. Tuck in the the neighbors and wake the kids, because it's a hell of a show!

It's Like a Shiney New Christmas Present!

I tried to make the site a tad more Christmas-y. I hope you like it. I'm not sure if the Pepto-Bismol pink will return after the new year, but we'll see...

Queer Eye For the Yuletide

Bravo's The Christmas Special Christmas Special, hosted by Carson Kressley, premieres tonight and will no doubt continue to air ad naseum until January. While it sounds a little too postmodern for its on good, I have to admit to being a sucker for clip shows of any sort. Throw in the Christmas factor, and I'm in.

You Know What? I Forgot to Eat Lunch.

And I think I'll take care of that right now. But I wanted to let you know that my weekly SFist post is up and ready for your consumption...

The Baby Jesus Was Unhurt

This has got to be the raddest nativity scene ever.

I'd Sell It to Slugworth

People seem to be abuzz over the trailer for Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Me? Meh.

Tim Burton can make a purdy movie, but watching his films I always feel like he gets carried away with that, and then midway through he remembers that he's supposed to be telling a story, but by that time it's too late and it's a mad rush to the finish. Plus I LOVE the original so that automatically makes me biased against this remake.

New Year's Rockin' Eve with...Regis Philbin?

I haven't watched it in forever, but it was nice knowing every year that some things don't change. Like the dropping of the ball in Times Square, and Dick Clark's hair color. But I guess he's still too ill to count down the night, and Regis Philbin is set to replace him.

The thought of having to see Regis every New Year's for the next 32 years? Terrifying.

Screwed

About three days ago, my home computer was attacked by spyware and adware and is now completely f*cked. Slower than molasses in winter, and can't run a spyware removal program without it crashing. I want to just pick up the damn thing and throw it out my window, but instead I just sit and scream at the screen while pounding my fists on the desk. I wonder what my neighbors think?

So, posting has been relegated to the daytime hours, which blows. Speaking of blowing, the Survivor: Vanuatu finale is this Sunday. I was so incredibly bored by this season, so don't much care, although the TiVo is set. I just can't believe that Scout, a woman who can't walk across the beach with wincing, has made it to the final four. Insane.

Life's a Glitch, Then You Die

I truly feel bad for the dude, but all this talk about Dick Clark's stroke and his New Year's Eve show keeps reminding me of that Simpsons episode about the Y2K bug, and how Dick Clark turns out to be a cyborg.

I know. I'm goin' to hell.

*Phew*

Rumors of Vincent's imminent removal from "L&O:CI" have been exaggerated, which is, you know, awesome because with his recent breakdowns, I bet his Goren character will appear even nuttier in upcoming episodes...

The Second Coming of Martha

Man, I can not WAIT until Martha Stewart gets out prison and hits the airwaves again with a vengeance. She'll be a tougher Martha (is that possible?) and I bet a lot of her crafts will involve the use of a shiv.

It looks like plans are already underway and some shows are in the works. I just wish she had the guts to host a Christmas special from prison. (Actually, I think she probably does have the balls to do that, I just bet the prison wouldn't look too kindly on it.)

Ah, To Live In a Snow Globe

You can read my latest entry on SFist now, although it's pretty short and not much different from the latest entries here. But it's worth checking out for the pretty accompanying photo...

All You Baby Dolls, and Lucy Lius, and Linuses, and Snoopys

It's pretty long, and it's not the best put together of clips, but I can't help but laugh at this combination of Peanuts dance moves and "Hey Ya!". [requires a download to view]

Tuesdays With Willie

I had to get to work earlier than usual today (and thank goodness that massive storm that was supposed to make the morning commute a living hell blew over in the middle of the night) and who should come strolling up to my stop but Da Former Mayor himself. That's right! Mr. Fancypants takes the bus just like us normal slobs. He's of the people, people. And as he told us at the bus stop, he could hire a car, but that would cost 50 bucks!! He can't waste money on crap like that. He needs to save it for his Louis Vuitton briefcases and snazzy hats.

And when he got off the bus he took a cell phone call right in front of a homeless guy who bowed before him for the entire conversation. Klassy!

Mondays Blow

I can't tear myself away from work today, and don't even get me STARTED on that. So for lack of anything else, here's a Christmas link for the day. ZuZu!

Creepy AND Christmasy!

Subscribers to "Musty TV" are most likely already aware of this, but I wanted to make sure the rest of you know that there is a Rankin-Bass marathon on the Fox/ABC Family channel Saturday. Basically they're airing every just about every friggin' Christmas special the puppetoony duo ever made, save for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, which is firmly entrenched in the death grip of CBS.

The fun starts tomorrow at 2:00pm.

Just, No

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers premieres on HBO this Sunday. It stars Geoffrey Rush as Sellers, which just makes me groan with annoyance. I don't care how good an actor Rush is, he does not look like Sellers in the least, and is in fact--I'll just say it--one of the ugliest actors out there. I know that's unfair of me, but I am obviously not a fan. I don't need to see Geoffrey Rush in anything ever again.

I know, I know. An actor doesn't have to actually look like the real-life person he's playing in order to give a good performance. But I think Peter Sellers was a handsome man, and that had to play a part in why he was able to bed a babe like Britt Ekland. Rush? Not so much.

Why not give Peter Sellers look-alike Michael Panes a shot at the role? He was really good in The Anniversary Party...

And don't even get me STARTED on the whole Kevin Spacey as Bobby Darin thing. He's older now than Darin was when he died! (Actually, because I like Kevin Spacey, I don't find this nearly as egregious.)

White

As promised, here are some photos from my trip to Tahoe over Thanksgiving. They're scenery shots mainly...

When we got to the cabin on Wednesday, there was really only snow in the mountains. The backyard was bare. But on Saturday, a storm came through, dropping over a foot of snow. We took a walk through this blizzard, but thought it best not to take a camera along. It was a freezing adventure, but fun. By Sunday, the day we had to leave, the skies were clear, and the backyard was now picture postcard pretty.

I really should move somewhere that gets yearly snow. I love cold weather (much more than warm weather) and there is nothing prettier to me than the site of fresh snow everywhere. A nice blanket of white can make even the most mundane things look magical...