Ritzy!

I went to a fancy, shmancy bridal shower at the Ritz last Saturday. It was loads of fun, and the first time I have ever had "high tea." I could learn to live like that, let me tell you what.

Anyway, I haven't posted any photos in a while, so I thought I'd post this one. It kind of sums up the afternoon quite nicely.

Me Sad Now

Sounds like it's the end for American Dreams. It's sad for two reasons. One, because I really enjoyed the show. And two, because that means we'll never get to see Meg leave her loser boyfriend and come back to Philadelphia to become the TV star she was born to be. She'll be on the back of that motorcycle for eternity.

Welcome to Sweeps Week, Bitch

It tickles me to no end the furor that went down when Bush announced he'd be having a primetime press conference. On a Thursday night! During sweeps week!!

Way to boost those approval ratings, chi chi.

Anyway, looks like those on the West coast were spared any preemption, and most shows went on at their usual time. Fans of "The O.C." can catch this week's episode next Thursday at 8, when Fox will run two episodes back-to-back.

I Will NOT Look at Him

Lest it give him the wrong idea.

Pat O'Brien returns to The Insider!

If you don't know what I'm taking about in regards to that whole "look" thing--and if so, where the hell have you been?--you can learn more at TVGasm.

Serenity Now!

The trailer.

Gee. I Wonder If Travelocity Has Anything to Do With This Show?

A few quick words about last night's The Amazing Race.

Oh, was it sweet seeing Rob's smugness finally bite him on the ass. Because I knew it would be a non-elimination week, I was, ironically, hoping that Rob and Amber did NOT come in last, as I just would not have been able to bear seeing them saved by non-elim. So third place was actually a much sweeter sight to see.

And oh my god, I just can't believe with all the wandering around and missing clues that are right in front of them, that Gretchen and Meredith came in second. I think they could, maybe, just maybe, literally, stumble into victory come the finale!

See It Again....For the First Time

Just a reminder that tonight's episode of Lost is that "recap" episode, but rumor has it even diehard fans are supposed to be able to get something out of it. I'd play close attention to just what they choose to include...

Blogger Kills Me. Again. Softly....With Its Server.

Quick. While I can still get on blogger! Here's this week's SFist post, brief as it is.

Also, there's a review for an SFIFF film I saw last week up there somewhere. Go look for it. Now!

Oh, Good Lord

That wasn't an earthquake. It was Alfred Hitchcock rolling in his grave.

Ohmigah! Stop. TALKING!

Here's an EXHAUSTIVE interview with Lynn and Alex from "The Amazing Race."

Actually, there's some interesting stuff in there, if you can just get past all the jibber jabber to get to it.

Search Terms Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo

I figured it's about time for another round-up of search terms that have lead people to this here blog in the past month or so. The top searches are still anything to do with "eva pigford," which I just don't understand. Also high on the list is are variations of "you are an idiot ha ha ha" and "farrah fawcett nightmare" (ha ha ha!)

Here are some more goodies:

jennifer garner's panties [eww!]
david gallagher wearing a diaper on 7th heaven [again: eww!]
library voices
lius and lucy
50 ugliest actors
wasp waist celebrities
clips of verne troyer having too much to drink on the show surreal life [Whoa there buddy. Learn to cut down those search terms!]
amish reggae
i'm totally obsessed with Billy Crudup
awesome alligators Brittany Spears

"Amazing Race" related:
amazing race speedo photo
deana's eye
what was wrong with deana's eye on amazing race

And "Lost" related:
lost finale
boone killed teresa
will boone die
boone "were the survivors"
survivors of flight 815

So, let me just say: welcome all you Googlers. Sorry you couldn't find what you were looking for. I'll try to include more diapers and panties in the future.

J'adore

I love this photo, and anyone who thinks it's cheesy mall art can kiss (ha!) my butt!

Spotted!

They're filming Rent right by my office today, trying to pass off South Park as Tompkins Square in New York, so I had lunch with a friend at one of the cafes that lines the park in order to do some gawking. We witnessed, I kid you not, the crew force some actual homeless people to leave the benches they were camped out on, in order to replace them with homeless-looking extras.

I am SO glad I don't live in L.A.

We also watched Rosario Dawson walk across the park about five times for a scene in which she may or may not have bought crack from some guy hanging out under a street lamp. (A fake street lamp.)

If It Were Me, It Would Be the End of Any Hopes of Leaving My House. Ever. Again.

This poor woman. Now her humiliation gets to be replayed over and over everywhere by insensitive pricks like me.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Oh...It's good to laugh.

This Was Really Creepy the First Time I Saw It

...when I was, like, three years old!

This smoking chimp is making headlines, but I remember seeing smoking chimps when I went to a zoo in Baton Rouge as a child (the saddest, most depressing zoo ever.) I even think there are photos of it somewhere. I can't really say if the sight of a scary chimp smoking really influenced me, but I do know that I've never smoked a day in my life...

Spongeworthy

Perhaps this is not the forum to discuss contraception, but I think it is worth noting that the Sponge is coming back to the US market. I never used the sponge, but the fact that it was popular enough amongst women to inspire a Seinfeld episode, but was taken off of the market because the manufacturer didn't want to bother and update their production plant, really pisses me off. Women's contraception choices are pretty limited as it is, so taking a popular, easily accessible, and easy-to-use one off of the market because of, essentially, the company's stinginess...blows.

But in the interest of keeping this about TV let me just point out that the guy Elaine deems spongeworthy in that Seinfeld episode was played by Scott Patterson, who now plays Luke on Gilmore Girls. Spongeworthy indeed!

Pleased To Meet You...

In this article TV critic Robert Bianco gets on Joan of Arcadia's case for introducing a character last week that just might be Satan. He writes that if God's visits to Joan "were all a trick to prepare Joan for some ultimate battle between good and evil, then she's no longer one of us." I guess he fears the show turning into some kind of "Joan the Devil Slayer" or something.

But I think that's all wrong. If Joan is going to live in a world where God can appear to her as a human entity and guide her through life, then doesn't it stand to reason that Satan should be just as real? I don't want to get all Satanic here, but one can't exist without the other, right? No good without evil and all that. I don't think it should (or will) be Joan's mission to destroy Satan. Instead, perhaps she'll be able to acknowledge that real evil does exists in this world, and fight against that.

The finale airs tonight at 8pm. And despite the show's being a bit of a downer this season (man, Joan was put through the ringer!) I really hope it gets renewed...

She So Crazy!

Oh, Paula.

Sorry...I Missed That...I Was Concentrating on Picking My Toes

I fully admit to not really understanding what's going on on Alias right now, but I still find the show more interesting currently than it was a month or so ago when everything would be resolved into a pretty package by the end of each show.

And the end of last night's episode, with Sloane once again going off the deep end and smiling at Nadia, telling her everything will be OK, while his face is covered in the blood of the man he just bludgened to death, was all KINDS of creepy-funny.

Finally....

It's been a long day...but this week's SFist post is up. At last!

Did You Cry When Joyce Shaved Her Head?

I did!

Pardon the late post. Network connectivity issues, and the ever-present JOB have gotten in the way, but I just have to say that Joyce is totally my hero for shaving her head on last night's The Amazing Race. She's a rock star. No way Amber would have done it (and oh how I wish we could have seen that instead!) But what really sucks is that even after shaving her head, and coming in first place, Joyce and Uchenna got NO REWARD!!!

I can't even begin to say how unfair that was. How many trips do Rob and Amber have now? Three? It's criminal, I tells ya!

And bye-bye to Lynn and Alex. You were kind of of awful, but I still kind of liked ya...

And In the "UGH!" Department

Rob and Amber got married this weekend.

And yes, the wedding will be a primetime special.

And NO, I will not watch it.

I will NOT watch it......I WILL not watch it....I will not....Will not...watch....it...

Please Film in San Francisco...PLEASE Film in San Francisco

I read this article because it mentions Mark Ruffalo and how he might join the cast of a movie about the Zodiac killer. Which is, of course, about that wacky 1970s Bay Area serial killer that never was caught. Man, I hope they actually film in the City. And that they decide my apartment building is a perfect location for, like, Mark Ruffalo's apartment in the movie or something...

But then I read that David Fincher is set to direct it. Er...ANOTHER movie about a clever serial killer? Way to stretch your range there, Davey!

Ben Jen, Again. Again.

Can I just say in reading this rather boring story about Jennifer Garner's birthday party, all I could really think was how pleased I am that she is only two years younger than me?

But then I read more stuff about her and Ben and a possible wedding, and I had to punch myself in the face.

You Can Call Me Anything You Like, But My Name Is Veronica

Hey...you execs over at UPN? Could you do me a favor? I hear that Veronica Mars has been renewed, and good for you renewing a show based on its acclaim, and not its ratings. But could you do me a favor? I haven't been watching, save for a few episodes at the beginning of the season, because you scheduled it at the same time as "The Amazing Race," and you know how I feel about that show. But I know I SHOULD have been watching it. So...come summertime, could you just re-run the entire season? That way I could catch up and be all set for the second season, and I KNOW I'm not the only person who would do that. I bet by re-running the season (with no re-runs, or missing episodes, by the way) you could pick up a LOT of new viewers, and have a bonifide hit come the fall. I mean, it'd almost be STUPID not to.

So, look into that, OK? Thanks. You're the best.

Oh, and that Tyra freakout on AMTM Wednesday was awesome, BTW.

Get Arrested

Please. Everyone reading this--watch the Arrested Development finale this Sunday at 8:30pm on Fox. It is, by far, the FUNNIEST show on TV right now, and will therefore probably be cancelled. So watch it to boost their numbers and maybe help in its renewal, or just watch it because you might never see it again.

Except on DVD.

Phoenix Setting

So I was reading this story about Joaquin Phoenix checking into rehab and I started thinking "Who is he married to again?" and I immediately thought, "Isn't he married to River Phoenix's sister?" which of course is insane. So I guess I was getting him confused with Casey Affleck, Ben's brother, who is indeed married to Summer Phoenix, Joaquin's (and River's) sister. Which just illustrates that Hollywood nepotism makes my brain hurt, and I should go lie down.

But yeah, rehab...Too bad, bro!

Eeek!

This is just scary. Nicole! You were the one with talent! You were actually funny, and didn't look like an underfed crack whore! Stop it!

This Is the End

All signs point to...SFist!

To Be Continued?!

I thought we avoided that crap by airing that two-hour episode a few weeks back! What the hell are you pulling, The Amazing Race? The fact that we're also due for another non-elimination round makes me thing this whole "this leg ain't over yet!" thing is dubious, at best. But whatever. It was worth it for that eyebrow raise Phil mustered at the end.

I think Ron and Kelly are a couple of scaredy cats for not Yielding Rob and Amber. How else can you explain them not doing it? Then again, Rob didn't Yield anyone either, but that might just have been because he was figuring it was probably a non-elimination leg, and it would have been pointless. (Which isn't true, by the way, because even if the team you Yielded comes in last and doesn't get eliminated, they're still in LAST place, which could be an advantage for you in the long run.)

What was up with those two guys in the office building, who kept trying to screw up the teams delivering the tea? First they did it to Rob, and then to Gretchen and Meredith. Were they just confused? Or were they really trying to screw the players up? Because that would have been awesome!

In all, I hope it is an elimination round, because I'm getting pretty tired of Gretchen and Meredith. Yeah, they've done good despite all the mishaps and penalties, but man. Gretchen's VOICE! I can't take much more of it!

Oprah Wants to Know

Will you tell her?

Oh Brother...She's Bringing Out the Ice Bucket Again

I don't have much to write about today, so I figured I'd just treat you to another photo of the HILARIOUS Johnny Ice Bucket.

"Bowl Over Your Party Guests." STOP! You're killing me!

A Cliffhanger During the Cliffhanger

The Lost finale is going to cover two episodes, which means we'll have to wait a whole week between finale episodes....which is fine, I guess, but frankly I wouldn't mind a FOUR-HOUR FINALE aired in one single night.

"Would I Like to Be Pope? Ah, That'd Be Brilliant, Ted!"

Father Dougal for Pope!!

The End of the World Is Near

And this is the proof.

Did You Cry When ***** Died?

Edited for the spoiler bunnies in the audience. For those who already read it...just kidding! No one died! And don't read this either!

I didn't. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I knew he was a goner, as he seemed doomed from the beginning (he almost died once, when Jack saved him from drowning), and his constant freak-outs and attempts to do-good, which always failed, just seemed to doom him. I think the fact that there was no one who really cared that much about him around when he died made it less emotionally wrenching...

I did cry when Claire had the baby, though. I think that has more to do with this weird thing I have wherein I cry whenever there's a birth scene in something. Whether its footage of real women giving birth, or just a birth scene in something fictional. Crazy, I know.

I wasn't really getting the whole Jack flashback stuff and how it was supposed to relate to Boone's dying...Was it just showing how Jack always refuses to give up on something even when it's the better thing to do? I dunno. I hope there's more to this marriage thing than what they showed last night.

Not that we'll find out any time soon....no new episodes until May!

Preeety Preeety on the TeeeVeee

This week's SFist post is up. And it's all about the local.

Hotty Hotty Pants

It was so sad going from the thrill of last week's Amazing Race to this week's heartbreaking episode in which my favorite team, known lovingly as just "The Brothers," were booted. And they were beaten by Meredith and Gretchen, who had to leave the pit stop and go back to the roadblock to, literally, get a clue! I guess that trip to the wrong water tower at the beginning of the leg just doomed the Brothers for the rest of the day. Too bad. If Uchenna and Joyce get eliminated soon, I'll have no one else to root for. I really hope that doesn't happen.

There's controversy about Lynn's (or was it Alex's?) comment that Uchenna and Joyce were "born to" carry stuff on their heads. I don't really know where I stand on that (especially after Uchenna basically says the same thing about himself a little while later) but I do have to say I appreciated how supportive Lynn was of Alex during the Roadblock. A welcome relief from some other teams' tendency to just harp on what their partner is doing wrong during a Roadblock (RAY).

As for the POW and the Beauty Queen? She has a screw loose. Seriously.

P.S. The title of this post refers to something Phil said at the beginning of the episode when he explained where the previous pit stop had been. I SWEAR he said "hotty hotty pants."

So Funny, It's Almost Against the Law!

I went on a futile trip to the flea market this weekend, in the hopes that I would be able to find some good wedding presents. Instead, I got the item pictured above. I suppose I could give it as a wedding gift, but with it being, apparently, only semi-legal, and only good for occasional use as a punch bowl, I probably shouldn't.

Also, how could I possibly part with something that has provided me with the perfect Mafia name, "Johnny Ice Bucket"?

"Hey Y'all! I've Got My Own TV Show!"

Could I be anymore excited about Mr. and Mrs. Federline's reality series? Well, maybe, since most of the show will just be video they shot themselves, with them "hosting" the segments. But something tells me they won't quite be as good at self-censoring as they may think they are. Meaning, yes, I don't think they really know when they look like idiots, and when they don't.

Don't Look at Me That Way. I Was Only Eight!

Yeah. I wore rainbow suspenders when I was kid. Because of my love of "Mork and Mindy." So? I was a child!! And I grew up to hate Robin Williams with a passion (and even as a kid, I always liked Steve Martin more), so I think that behavior can be excused.

Tonight we get another one of those cheesy "behind the TV series" movies this time looking at Mork and Mindy. I'm not sure if a guy doing an impersonation of Robin Williams will be any harder to take than the real thing, but I do think I'm going to have to watch it just to see the Clown Deal With His Personal Demons storyline. And I have to say I am loving how unabashedly awful these "expose" TV movies allow themselves to be. Tonight! 9:00! NBC!

But It's All About the Funny! How Could You Not Like It?

A little more about April Fool's Day humor...aside from the whole "I want to make you look like a fool" aspect of the day, which is too often the humor equivalent of putting gum in someone's hair, it is rare, very rare that any of these pranks are actually funny. There are plenty of sites out there that are partaking in the April 1st thing today, and dammed if ANY of them have made me laugh. Even the chicks at Go Fug Yourself didn't come up with something very original, and theirs is probably the best I've seen so far.

Just because it's a day devoted to "humor" doesn't mean whatever you do is going to automatically be funny. In fact, it will most likely just be painfully lame.

If someone can prove me wrong, and direct me to a site that's done something hilarious for the day, please, let me know!

It's Cho-time!

The announcement of this new series, an anthology of hour-long horror movies from such directors as John Carpenter, Don Coscarelli, and George Romero, makes me question, once again, my not having digital cable with all the trimmings...

I just don't think I can handle having so many TV viewing choices. I hardly leave the house as it is!

A 'Star Wars' Book I Might Actually Enjoy

Carrie Fisher says she plans to write a tell-all book about filming the original trilogy, based on diaries she kept at the time. Of course, in the article she says she hasn't started yet, and should really put the project on her "to-do list," so we'll see if it ever actually comes out.

Ha Ha Ha! You're an Idiot!!!

Why aren't you laughing?

Just a brief post to say I hate April Fool's Day, and will not--I repeat--NOT acknowledge it in any way. So any posts you read here today will be absolutely true.

I swear.

Even this one.