Chickens Don't Clap!

Happy Friday!



[via What's Alan Watching]

But What About MY Needs?

This happened today at a construction site around the corner from me. I heard all the sirens and stuff, and have been hearing the jackhammers and general construction noises for a few weeks. Scary, but I think everyone is OK.

In perhaps related news, the water pressure in my apartment is whack. Sometimes it's fine, other times I'll be taking a shower and be right in the process of rinsing shampoo out of my hair, when the water will suddenly be reduced to a dribble. I then have to stand under the shower head, soap in my eyes, and try to rinse my hair with the liquid equivalent of a weakly-lobbed loogie. It's really a FANTASTIC experience, especially when it's early in the morning, and time is of the essence.

So, I called the property management and told them about it, and they said they could come by anytime since they have a key, and take a look. I told them I'd rather they came by on a day I was there, so we arranged for them to come by today between 9 and 12.

Ha. HA HA.

They never showed. They never called. Yes, I could have called and asked where the hell they were, but after noon I had shit to do! I was working, I had a meeting via phone I had to attend to, I had to go to the gym, I couldn't sit in my apartment for another four hours hoping they'd show.

I guess I can just have them show up when I'm not here, but I really don't like having plumbers trampsing around my apartment when I'm not around, freaking out my cat and doing who knows what else. For now I just hope that by some miracle, the whole thing fixes itself.

Nice Working With You, Billy Dee

I know a lot of people hate last night's episode of "Lost," (although there are some who, oddly enough, love it.) I thought it was fun, if a little bit of a buzzkill after last week's Daddy in a box episode. They really know how to stop excitement in its tracks, don't they?

While I could get upset with the show's continuing to introduce new characters just to kill them off, I won't. (Plus, Locke telling Paolo things don't stay buried on the island leads me to believe perhaps they, or at least one of them, might survive.) But I WILL complain about that scene in the TV hatch with Ben and Juliet. What the hell? Did he drag her all the way over there just to show her a little bit of video of Jack? And did he really need to deliver such clumsy exposition? I thought it would have been a lot more interesting if the stuff they said to each other only made sense to us and not Paolo since we have the benefit of hindsight (or would that be foresight?). It also would have been a little more plausible that Paolo would then choose not to risk telling anyone about being in that hatch since he didn't really understand what those two were planning anyway.

Anyway... Next week: Cat fight!

No Gurls!

There's another reality TV locals recap up on SFist now!

I feel like I've missed an episode--my last recap was two weeks ago. But I guess I'm just lagging on my actual posting time. I usually post these on Mondays.

Or maybe it's that whole Daylight Savings Time crap rearing its ugly head again. I thought I had finally adjusted, but get a load of this: This morning I woke up, rushed to take a shower, eat breakfast--the usual stuff--in order to catch the 9:00am shuttle to work. When the shuttle arrived, I noticed it was a different driver, a driver who usually does an earlier run, and I thought that was kind of weird; also the bus was a lot more crowded than it tends to be at 9:00am. And then I opened my laptop and saw that it was actually 8:00am.

I woke up an entire hour earlier than I needed to, and didn't even realize it until I was on my way to work.

Do I need to say it?

THANKS AGAIN GEORGE W. BUSH!

Fuckabees

Just in case there's someone out there who hasn't seen this yet, here's that video of director David O. Russell going apeshit on the set of "I Heart Huckabees."



There's another video here.

But don't worry about Lily Tomlin. Apparently she's fine with it all.

TiVil

Last year I got a dual tuner TiVo, and it rocks my world. Getting that new box meant moving my old TiVo into my bedroom for those times when there are more than two shows that I want to see at a given time. I set it up. It did its thing. And all was good with the world.

Back in, I think, November, that TiVo done died on me. Fatal disc failure or something. It was one of the old Sony machines--although at six years old, it really wasn't THAT old; such is the lifespan of consumer electronics. Getting the thing fixed would cost a couple hundred bucks, which would have been ridiculous since some new TiVo boxes cost less than that. So I basically unplugged it and forgot about it. Since I was able to take advantage of free streaming video on most network TV sites, the problem of missing those third shows on a given night was solved, and the need for a TiVo (or a TV, for that matter) in my bedroom was virtually nil.

Then I remembered I was actually still paying a monthly service fee for that dead box, and finally gave TiVo a call last week to cancel it. When I told them the situation, they told me they could sell me a brand new TiVo box to replace it for only 10 bucks, and I'd be paying the same subscription fee with the new one that I was paying with the old one.

Well, twist my arm why don't you!?

So, now I have a shiny new TiVo in the bedroom, and the TV that hasn't been turned on since last year is now getting nightly viewing. This is not good, especially since one of the things I have now started to watch is "Dancing With the Stars."

God help me.

I have successfully avoided this show for the three seasons it's been on. When I first saw ads for it, way back when, I was sure it was a joke, or at least thought it would be a show played for laughs, not an actual competition featuring a bunch of second-rate celebrities actually dancing, like, seriously. Really? And when it turned into a smash hit, I was dumbfounded. And yes, I did try to watch it during its second season, but I just am not that enthralled by ballroom dancing to begin with, and the whole thing just felt so...weird to me; like everyone in the world was pretending to be totally and non-ironically into the show, but they were all, in fact, just doing it to make me look stupid. Or something. Anyway, I was not a fan.

And I still am not a fan; I still think the whole thing is BIZARRE. But the prospect of seeing Heather Mills's leg flying off during a meringue is just too much to resist.

So, Let Me See If I've Got This Straight

Bob Dylan (and, perhaps, Jimi Hendrix) are cylons?

Sweet

A few years ago I posted a little widget that illustrated what my blog was worth, and at the time, it was worth a big fat zero.

Well, times have changed my friends.

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

That's enough to retire on, right?

Six Degrees of J.J. Abrams

For those who liked the show, don't forget that "Six Degrees" is returning to ABC tonight at 9pm, with some major changes, some of which are described here. I pretty much disagree entirely with the sentiment of that article, though, since I LIKED the utter slowness of the show. It wasn't exactly riveting, but the actors made it work.

The Magic of a Gold Grill

My next to last recap of "I'm From Rolling Stone" is now up on the SFGate Culture Blog! Part two should go up around 3pm and you can then learn who won the coveted, COVETED, Rolling Stone writing gig.

In other news, I'm falling apart. My left foot (heh) is killing me, so much so that yesterday, I could hardly make it home from the store. Thing is, I have absolutely no memory of injuring it. On Wednesday morning, I walked to the shuttle stop, and by the time I got there, it was a little sore. Once I got to the office and made my way to my cube, it was aching like a mofo. It feels perfectly fine when I'm not on it, but walking just kills it. What the hell could it be?

Step 2: Put a Total Dick In a Box

So, this week's "Lost" was both awesome, and slightly dissapointing. On the awesome side, the ultimate realization that Locke is basically batshit crazy with island worship, so much so that he will do anything to totally trap everyone on that damned island forever. He really doesn't want to get back in that wheelchair, yo.

On the sorta lame side, the revelation of how he was actually paralyzed, although at this point I think anything would have been a dissapointment; we've been waiting three years for the answer. I just never thought it would be as simple as him being thrown out a window by his father. Which of course isn't exactly "simple," but in the world of "Lost" it kind of is. Also, I sure hope that box Ben spoke of is a metaphorical one, and not some actual giant magic box guarded by David Blaine.

I appreciated the answer to a lot of little questions this episode; that, indeed, the Others could come and go as they pleased, at least at some point. That Locke's dad is the original Sawyer. And some others that I'm too tired to remember. However, I hope this concentration on smaller questions doesn't mean they'll lose focus on the bigger questions, including: WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH THOSE DUDES IN THE ANTARCTIC?

I Thought This Stuff Went Out In the 70s

Was I the only one who was offended by last night's "America's Next Top Model" photo shoot which had the girls posing as scantily-clad murder victims? I thought we got beyond all this once Helmut Newton died.

I don't know. It just really gave me the creeps. Especially how during the photo Jay kept going on and on about how much better the girls were when they were acting like they were dead....

Edited to add: In answer to my own question: no. Apparently I wasn't the only one offended. [via TV Tattle]

Edited again to add: I guess they got a little nervous over there at the CW as they've removed all the photos from the "murder victim" shoot. I changed the link above to another site that has the original photo I linked to. You can also see the rest of the photos there.

R.I.P. Larry "Bud" Melman

He hasn't been on the Letterman show in years, but Calvert DeForest will still be missed.

Rumor has it, since the remainder of Letterman's shows this week have previously been taped, there won't be any mention of this on the show until next week. And I didn't even know he was the guy who introduced the world to David Letterman on his first ever NBC "Late Night" show.

They Who Have Something

Let's discuss some "American Idol," shall we? Last night was British Invasion night, and who better to teach those kids a thing or two about 60s pop than the "singer" of one of the most asinine groups of all time? No, not Lulu, she's cool. I'm speaking, or course, about Peter Noone...And that's about all I want to speak of where he's concerned.

Now for some of the singing. I thought the judges were totally high when they dissed Lakisha's "Diamonds Are Forever." She rocked it. And she didn't look "old," Simon, she looked mature, which is to say, she wasn't wearing something gaudy, tacky, or too short for her own good. Sheesh!



I also thought Jordin did a good job with "I Who Have Nothing," a song I love, (and a song title that always looks like it's grammatically incorrect). They said it was popularized by Shirley Bassey and then covered by Tom Jones, but I think the best version of the song was sung by Ben E. King, (followed closely by Sylvester's disco version). As for complaining that the song was depressing, I hardly think that should matter, as long as she sang it well. And I think she did.



Sanjaya....oh Sanjaya....

And what of the Zombies portion of the evening? Chris Sligh disappointed me with his utterly boring rendition of "She's Not There." Blake's "Time of the Season" was a'ight, if a little whiny, and I guess it was a good choice for the addition of some beat boxing since, if you listen to the original, there's kind of some of that in the mix, (although it sounded to me like he didn't even put those parts in).

Finally, Melinda had to end the evening with a song I have always, for some unknown reason, absolutely loathed, "As Long As He Needs Me" from the musical "Oliver!" I hate the song so much, I had to fast-forward through most of her performance. It sounds like she sang it OK, but I'd still have to knock a few points from her for song choice alone.

Rethink Those Vows

Court TV is premiering 'Til Death Do Us Part tonight at 10pm. It's a true crime show hosted by John Waters as the "Groom Reaper." If you didn't get it from the title, it focuses on stories of marital murder, with your usual badly acted re-enactments of the crimes. And that's where I think the show missed a huge opportunity in not having Waters direct those re-enactments. He's easily the only reason to watch the show, but once he disappears and the bad acting begins, it's downright painful to watch. If only Divine were still alive to play all those murderous/murdered brides...

Warning: Stripping Clown Ahead

My friends Dan and Michele have made a movie, and they've just released the trailer. You can watch it below. It's quite the funny. I can't wait to see the whole thing!

Where's 30 Rock?

If you're wondering where "30 Rock" has gone to tonight, and where it will be for the next six weeks, the answer is, nowhere. Which is to say, it's nowhere else. It's just gone...to make way for the new Andy Richter comedy "Andy Barker PI." Which isn't the worst case scenario. "30 Rock" will be back, and in the meantime you can watch a pretty funny sitcom in its own right.

Or, if you'd rather get the entire series out of the way in one sitting, you can watch all six episodes online now. (That's kind of a weird choice by NBC, don't you think?)

Touchdown!

Last night's "Lost" redeemed some of the problems I had with last week's episode, mainly that Locke is less a bumbling idiot who can't stop pushing any buttons he sees, and more of a calculating asshole who has something bigger up his sleeve. Is it that he wants to sabotage ANY ability to contact the outside world because he never wants to leave the island? (The whole "island gave him his legs back" thing.) Or is it that he's some kind of super duper sleeper agent working for some Dharma or anti-Dharma agency?

I've been dreading the big Jack-and-Claire-are-siblings reveal for a while, mainly because it seems such a soap opera, "OK, let's throw that in there too!" thing, and not like something they were planing from the beginning. But I guess it went as well as could be expected. I don't like that during Claire's first flashback, with the fortune teller and the pregnancy, there was no mention of her having a mother in a coma. Sometimes I wish the writers were forced to stick to all the pieces they laid out in season one, and not throw in things that weren't mentioned back then.

Finally, that last shot of Jack running for his life and catching a football? Was all kinds of awesome.

Conan Conquers San Francisco

I posted about this on SFist, but they're having trouble with their servers, so who knows when it will actually appear on the site. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is coming to San Francisco at the end of April for a week of tapings at the Orpheum Theater.

This is the link to learn how to get tickets. It's taking a long-ass time to load, though, so if you want to get tickets, send an email request to ConanInSanFrancisco - at - nbcuni - dot - com with your name, address, phone number and email. And if you get tickets, take me.

Look Out Look Out Look Out!

My dad clued me in to the news that Mary Weiss of the Shangri-Las, the best girl group EVER, has a new record out (it's available on iTunes now). I listened to some tracks and it's not bad. Her voice is a little rough, but you can still tell it's her, and some of the songs sound a little like something the Ramones would do. She's going to be on the Conan O'Brien show tonight performing live. (Unfortunately the live video clips on her site don't sound quite as good as the album tracks. Hope she sounds better tonight.)

In the meantime, here's a clip of the Shangri-Las singing one of my faves.

Con...Cen...Tra...Tion

This week's reality TV locals post is now up on SFist, and thanks to a betrayal by TiVo, it's a short one.

In other news, George W. can take his extra hour of sunlight and shove it...where the sun don't shine? Does that even make sense? Anyway, I think it's a load of crap. I want my hour of sleep back, I want to be able to turn my VCR and DVD recorder to automatic D.S.T. and not have to worry about changing their clocks ever again, and I want Halloween night to come along when the days are shorter like it's supposed to! Thanks again, George W. Bush, for ruining my life.

Edited to add: Last night I couldn't get to sleep, and that never happens to me. I ended up reading an entire book (this one, and it made me cry like a baby) and starting another before I finally fell asleep. This morning I woke up with a raging migraine and a spazzing back. And, of course, I blame it all on G.W. Bush and D.S.T.

Richie Rich

So there's this new show premiering on F/X tonight called "The Riches." It stars a couple of Brits as a couple of hicks, and that in itself gives me pause. I haven't yet watched it, but the pilot is available online at Yahoo! TV...

Hello....Is It You I'm Looking For?

This week's "I'm From Rolling Stone" recap is now up on the SFGate Culture Blog!

Warning: Lionel Richie ahead.

You Have to Fire Ten Percent of Your Staff

As seen on "30 Rock" tonight.

Nostalgia for the Crazy

I'm not sure why it popped into my mind, but today I had the urge to listen to some of those "Psycho Ex-Girlfriend" voicemails. Remember those? From way back in 2001 when the Internets and "viral" Web phenoms were still novel?

I wonder whatever became of her...

When Will They Learn That No Good Can Come From Button Pushing?

I'm beginning to think the Others have a point with trying to keep those damn Losties away from them. They're like a bunch of three-year-olds that can't keep stop touching touching touching everything they see. And occasionally putting things in their mouths. Maybe all this torture stuff the Others are partaking in is just to make sure the Losties don't get to their village and accidentally burn all their houses down.

Which isn't to say I didn't like this episode. I thought it was pretty solid. But I guess I'll have to wait until morning to read a translation of what was said between Miss Klugh and Bakunin.

Edited to add: According to the Lostpedia, this is the what they said, poorly translated as it is:

Klugh: Mikhail. Mikhail! You know what to do.
Mikhail: We still have another way [out].
Klugh: We cannot risk. You know the conditions.
Mikhail: There is another way.
Klugh: They captured us. We will not let them to get into territory.
Klugh: You know what to do. It is an order.
Mikhail: We still have another way!
Klugh (in English): Just do it, Mikhail.
Mikhail: Forgive me. (shoots)

Even More WonderCon

I wrote another, briefer post about WonderCon for SFist. And that's all I have to say about WonderCon for the next year or so. I promise.

February Round-Up

It's time for me to assess my entertainment choices for the month of February. And no, I am not suffering from OCD. Much.

But wow. It's already March 6th, and I haven't gotten around to this yet. This weekend was crazy, with the nerd convention and writing about said convention, coupled with other bloggy commitments. So busy doing things to add to this month's list, that I haven't been able to get to last month's list. Let me do that now.

Movies Seen: Fourteen, with two in a theater. I was hoping to get more theater time, but there just weren't enough free weekends. And, disappointingly, it doesn't look like there's much of anything I really want to see coming out in March (aside from "Zodiac" which I've already seen. But that counts towards March's totals). I'd say my favorite film of the past month has been "Marie Antoinette," with "Stranger Than Fiction" coming in a close second.

Books Read: Three. Definitely a slower month than January in that department, but they were all pretty long! I have to say I've been enjoying reading a lot more recently. For most of 2006, reading seemed more like a chore than something I'd do for fun. And I don't think it was just that I was reading crappy books; I read a lot of great ones last year. But for some reason, I've just enjoyed reading more this year. I always read when I go to bed, and sometimes I last about 10 minutes before I fall asleep, but on other nights I've ended up reading for three hours. There must be something about it I'm liking. The books have been good, so that helps. I finally finished Sean Wilsey's "Oh the Glory of It All," along with "The Priest" by Thomas M. Disch--a Christmas gift from my father--and Stephen King's "On Writing," which has been sitting on my "to read" shelf for a couple of years now.

Fancy Dinners Out: Two, and one of those was at Disneyland, which leads to the next category-

Amusement Parks Visited: Two, (if you count Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure as two parks). And it was a blast.

Live Shows Seen: None. Oh well.

Shoes Bought: One pair. Kind of. I traded in a pair that were a gift for a pair of shiny black Wellingtons. They've come in handy during the rainy days of late, although they have an icky rubber smell that makes me a little lightheaded if I leave them out and don't put them in a box in my closet. Do you think that's bad?

Yau the Man Now, Dog!

This week's reality TV locals post is now up on SFist!

WonderContinues

I wrote about this weekend's WonderCon experience for the SFGate Culture Blog. Check it out!

Man. I am more pooped than pooped can be. I think I'm actually writing this in my sleep. I hope I don't start to drool on my lap top.

The Dragon's Balls Were Blazing

I watched "Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny" tonight and what can I tell you? I thought it was hilarious--and I'm not even that big of a Tenacious D fan. But I am a fan of really stupid comedies and awesomely bad rock songs, so there you go.

If you can't bring yourself to watch the whole movie, at least watch the first five minutes. It's definitely my favorite part.

Rain Gere Was Here and Had a Beer

This week's "I'm From Rolling Stone" recap is now up on the SFGate: Culture Blog. If you ever wondered what I used to write on my Pee-Chee in school, I suggest you read it.

Enough With the Earthquakes Already!

We had ANOTHER damn earthquake a little while ago. They all seem to be coming from the Berkeley area and these have been going on since November.

This one was the biggest in a while, at 4.2. When it hit I screamed like a girl and jumped off my couch. Not sure what I thought I was going to do, but I'm thinking I might start wearing a helmet to bed. Just in case.

WonderFul

I've got a brief post hyping this weekend's WonderCon up on SFist. Is YOUR costume ready?

Has ABC's Marketing Department Been Fired Yet?

According to them, we all just HAD to watch last night's episode of "Lost" or else we'd all be wondering what everyone was talking about the next day.

Apparently I missed that bit in last night's show. Please. Enlighten me.

I Heart Tom Brady's Illegitimate Baby

Sorry for the lack of posts. Seems I've been spending all my time working or writing for other blogs. But here's some happy news. Remember that show "Six Degrees"? OK, I was probably the only one was watching it, which is probably why it's been off the air for months. But there was good news last week: ABC is planning to bring it back in March, and we have Bridget Moynahan and her illegitimate pregnancy to thank. Good thing ABC didn't pull the plug outright! I'm also glad to hear it will be on Friday nights, which is virtually void of any compelling programming right now.

Speaking of slightly compelling television, I watched the premiere of NBC's "The Black Donnellys" and I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I enjoyed it. I'm not the biggest Paul Haggis fan (HATED "Crash") and the show offers nothing that hasn't been done better in "The Departed," "The Sopranos," or countless other Mafia stories, so I don't even know why I liked it. It did make me laugh more than once, and it was well-made, which is more than can be said for "Studio 60," the show it is currently replacing. Anyway, it's on again tonight at 10pm on NBC. Give it a look if there's nothing else on. (You can also watch the entire episode on the show's Web site.)