Phillip Chbeeb Pops My World

America's fascination with dancing continues to perplex me. (Equally perplexing: why I continue to watch these stupid shows.) I found most of last night's episode of "So You Think You Can Dance" dreadfully dull; I just think most of the earnest and talented dancers are incredibly boring, no matter how good they are.

But then a guy like Phillip Chbeeb comes along and does something I've never seen before. The tiny video size doesn't really do it justice, but look out for the wavy arms, and the floating head bit.

America Is Crafty

I don't know much about it, but PBS is airing a twothree-part doc tonight called "Craft In America," and the title makes it sound like it would be right up my alley, what with my craftiness and all. And by "crafty" I mean all my attempts to create something cool and homemade that really just ends up being nothing but a huge mess, with me crying over my hot glue gun burns.

It airs tonight from 8-10pm 9-11pm.

Riffing On RiffTrax

I've got a brief review of Sunday's RiffTrax show up on SFist now, and I chose to keep my moment of embarassing fandom out of it.

Hey! Where Did My Weekend Go?

This week's reality TV locals post is now up on SFist, and it's all about "The Bachelor."

You know what? As much as I love TV, I am really kind of happy that it's the end of the TV season, and all I'll really have to keep up on are lame reality shows. I'm sure by the end of June, my TiVo will be as full as ever, but for now I'm happy for a break.

Dork

That's what I am.

I went to the RiffTrax show in Marin tonight, and it was fun and funny (review coming soon on SFist. I hope.). But at the end of the show, after the Q&A, when fellow dorks had cornered the guys at the front of the theater, I managed to muscle my way in and attack introduce myself to Mike Nelson just before he was about to extradite himself from the throngs. I said who I was, reminded him about the interview, thanked him again for that, complimented him on the show, and made some stupid remark about waiting in line to meet him. He was very gracious and he thanked me for taking the time to introduce myself, and that was that. But man. I am a nervous wreck around famous people. My face gets all red and twitchy and my voice cracks, and I don't know what to say; it's embarrassing for everyone involved. I should really have just introduced myself, and then instantly apologized for my awkwardness.

Then again, who am I kidding? Compared to the rest of his stereotypical fans, I probably came off like friggin' Grace Kelly.

I Wanna Leave Bennigan's

Love it.



[Via Best Week Ever]

When Did You Know?

I knew the minute he whipped out that Razr phone...

A Dream Fulfilled

Hey now, check this out! I got to interview Michael J. Nelson. You know, Mike Nelson from MST3K! Go read the interview on SFist now!

It was done over email, so I didn't actually meet the guy, but I am hoping to at least introduce myself when I go to the RiffTrax Live show this Sunday. If my nerves can take it!

Is There Anyone Out There Who DOESN'T Think It's Gonna Be Tessa?

This week's reality TV locals recap is now up on SFist!

Please Won't You Not Be My Neighbor?

I have some loud neighbors. REALLY loud neighbors. After living above a Chinese family for the past 10 years or so that never shouted, played loud music, or even seemed to own a TV set, this came as kind of a shock. Especially after I realized my new neighbors were a couple of lesbians that really, really, really like to have loud sex. A LOT. And being that these are two women, it goes on for hours. The moaning and screaming just goes on and on. I can't begin to think what the neighbors below them are thinking, especially since one of those neighbors is a certifiably insane old woman who has a tendency to stand outside our apartment building just staring into space waiting for someone to let her in. I fear all this will push her over the edge and she'll end up burning the entire place down, "Jane Eyre" style.

Anyway, I always thought all those female sexual histronics were for the benefit of the male partner. When it's two women, do they really need to go on like that?

And they aren't just loud when it comes to their sex lives, they're loud about everything. They are constantly playing loud music, screaming, and laughing; they are incapable of having a quiet conversation. I just don't understand this. Do they really not realize that when they have loud conversations with their windows open (our apartments' bathroom and kitchen windows open up into a common shaft that is shared with one entire half of the building) that everyone can hear every word? Or are they so self-absorbed that they don't even notice?

Well, today the two lovers had a huge fight. One accused the other of cheating, and screams that included the lines, "I fucking love you! I've even thought about marrying you!," "You are who I think about when I go to sleep, and when I wake up in the morning!," and "I fell in love with you, and I'm sorry for that. No...I'm not sorry for that, I mean, it's been hard!," were shouted for the enjoyment of all. Almost all of the fight could be heard without me lying on the ground with my ear pressed to the floor. After about 15 minutes of door slamming, one threatening to walk out on the other, and lots of swearing, the whole thing lost its novelty, and all I could do was hope that they DO break up so we could all get some peace and quiet.

And another part of me is just dreading, with every fiber of my being, their inevitable make-up sex.

April Round-Up

April? It's almost June, for pete's sake. I've almost forgotten what I did this month, how am I supposed to remember April?

But I'm gonna give it a try.

Movies Seen: Thirteen, with one in the theater, that one being "Grindhouse." (Although I suppose that one can be considered two, right?) Just as I feared, Tarantino's "Death Proof" was almost unbearably boring for its first 40 minutes or so, and almost every word that came out of those women's mouths made me cringe and roll my eyes. I did enjoy the car stunts and chases, but I just didn't think they were any better than anything that's been done before. A lot has been written about the movie and a lot of theories thrown out there about just what he was trying to do or say with the flick, but my favorite theory is that the two parts of the movie are in fact in reverse order, and that the events of the first half of the film are Stunt Man Mike's revenge for what happens in the second half of the film. For anyone who has seen the film twice, a question: does he have the facial scar in the second half of the movie?

As for April's DVD picks, I'd say the film I enjoyed most was "Notes on a Scandal." It was just a perfect little bit of character study; creepy, funny, sad, and most importantly, entertaining. I went into it thinking I'd be bored to death, and found myself engrossed for every minute. (It helps that the movie is only about 90 minutes long.)

Books Read: Six, but only one was truly memorable, and that was Cormac McCarthy's "The Road." Don't let the fact that Oprah picked it for her book club disway you from reading it. It was truly one of the best things I've ever read. It's devastating, and hopeful, truly horrifying without being the least bit graphic, and does so much with minimum language. It's not a book you should speed read through; you can miss entire plot points by skipping a single sentence. Which is kind of odd coming from an author like McCarthy. The other books I've read of his--"All the Pretty Horses" and "Blood Meridian"--(well, half of "Blood Meridian," that's as a far as I could get) are incredibly dense and...wordy. Rumor has it a movie version of "The Road" is in the works, and that has me worried. While it's a great story, so much of its power lies in its subtlety, and subtlety isn't something Hollywood gets right very often. So take my advice, do NOT wait for the movie with this one.

Fancy Dinners Out: Two. One was mentioned here. The other was at Nopa, and while the food was good, the service was...weird. I went with my friend Rachel, and she had promised to bring back one of their famous Sticky Toffee Pudding desserts to her husband who was staying home with the baby. But when we asked for one to go, the waiter told us they don't do orders to go. Wah? He said their food is designed to be eaten right away, and it would ruin the integrity of the food to have it to go. WTF? Were that actually turning down money because they didn't want to put something in box? We contemplated just ordering an extra pudding, taking a tiny bite, and asking them to wrap up the leftovers, but we knew at this point the waiter would know exactly what we were doing, so we decided to pose that scenario to him. He said while he couldn't prevent us from doing that, he still insisted the dessert wouldn't travel well. So we didn't get one to go. For the record, that Sticky Toffee Pudding WAS incredibly delicious, but I still think it could have withstood a ten minute cab ride home.

Live Shows Seen: Does a taping of the Conan O'Brien Show count as a live show?

Shoes Bought: One pair--an 80 dollar pair of tennis shoes (sneakers, to those on the east coast) that a podiatrist told me I needed to buy because my feet are "too flexible" and my other tennis shoes were giving me peroneal tendonitis. This was the explanation for the horrible cramping pain I was getting occasionally in my left foot. So I got the shoes, and they did wonders for the pain in that foot. Only problem is, now my RIGHT foot has begun to hurt.

Waa...waa...waa.

I Wonder How Long It Took Them To Realize No One Was Actually Coming Over For a Potty

An email from Chuck reminded me that I needed to check YouTube to see if a certain commercial had made it to the site yet.

It has.

Stupidest. Cop. EVER.

I don't mean for this blog to just be a regurgitation of Freakgirl's, but she's been posting the best videos these days.

And I think this one takes the cake. Or the brownie.

Ruff

[via Freakgirl]

I'm Having an Identity Crisis Here

Here's a video clip from "The Colbert Report" in which he talks about me.

I mean, in which he talks about some guy who has chosen to STEAL MY NAME.

The Curse of the Car Reward

I just got back from a mini-break at Russian River, and I already have a reality TV locals recap for you. How amazing am I?

My Time Has Come

Check that out. That's me right above Stephen Colbert, just as I've always dreamed. I have been chosen by the WORLD as one of the most influential people of the year. Finally.

For some reason, Time magazine says the name on the list is referring to some Korean pop singer named "Rain." Idiots! It's actually kind of embarrassing that such a huge magazine would make a mistake like that, but I'll let it slide.

THIS TIME.

Here's an Idea...Move It to FRIDAYS!

NBC renewed "Friday Night Lights". While I did manage to watch the entire season of the show, mainly because there were some days when I was badly in need of some TV to watch while working and it's one of the shows NBC provides on its Web site, there are still three reasons why I don't really care that it's been renewed.

1. I hate football.

2. The show utilizes that incredibly annoying shaky cam technique. They tried to excuse this during the first episode by explaining that a camera crew was following the new coach around, filming some kind of documentary, but they dropped that whole notion pretty much by the second episode, yet still kept the annoying palsy camerawork for the rest of the season.

3. I hate football.

Pay No Attention to the--OH MY GOD!

If you missed that glimpse of Jacob in last night's episode of "Lost" I suggest you go back and watch it again.

And then come back here and explain to me WHO THE HELL HE IS!

I Want Tanta the Indian!!

This cartoon came out before my time, and the original Lenny Bruce routine was WAY before my time, but I still have fond, youthful memories of it.

More Reasons To Hate Family Guy

I hate "Family Guy," and despite insistence from friends who are fans that I should just give it one more try, I can't. I gave it a try, and that was enough. I'd still rather watch "The Simpsons." And apparently the creators of "Family Guy" feel similarly.

[Edited to add: The YouTube video has been removed, but you can watch it here.]



I also appreciate that Cartman feels the same way I do.

The End Is Nigh

ABC announced that "Lost" will end in 2010, which sure sounds like a long ways away, but maybe that's just because I don't want to admit that come 2010, I will be 40.

The show will have three more shorter seasons, which means no more of that lame six episodes and then a long break and then the rest of the season crap. I guess the general hope is now that the writers have a definite time line in sight, they will be able to pace the show better, and maybe come up with some episodes that don't feel like they're just pulling stories out of their asses.

Which is not to say I feel they've been doing that recently--I've liked the past couple of episodes--but I'd have to call the majority of this season a failure.

TAR Was Here?!

This week's reality TV locals post is now up on SFist and it has bonus "Amazing Race" coverage as the finale took place in our very own San Francisco. How did I not hear about this back in December??!

Also, you know what's really awesome on a day when you are working at home in your apartment which is about 10 degrees warmer than it is outside (and that's pretty darn warm)? Working on a laptop that has an infamous battery that overheats regularly. So basically I am sitting in a sauna with a heater on my lap. Perfect!

Conan Is Gone!

I've got a brief report about Conan's final San Francisco taping up on on SFist now.

Today's show was just as good as Monday's, I thought, and my seat was a little better. While I was still on the mezzanine, I was three rows from the front, although perilously close to the jimmy jib. I kept thinking it was going to swoop down and brain me. This whole week made me wish we had some kind of national talk show based out of S.F. Never gonna happen, but it would still be cool.

I Will Always Love You

Looks like that season finale of "Gilmore Girls" on May 15th will be the series finale, as it has been cancelled. I sure hope that finale gives us some happy endings, because this season has had way too many downer moments.

In other news, I'm going to tomorrow's final S.F. Conan O'Brien taping, woo!!

Separation Anxiety

For the three other people out there who were fans of ABC's "Six Degrees" you should know that the final five episodes of the series will end up on ABC's online video site. One new episode is already up, and four more will premiere each Friday.

I watched the latest ep yesterday, and it just made me miss the show all the more.

In other news, if you're wondering what ever happened to that guiltiest of guilty pleasures, "Men in Trees," it sounds like the final episodes of its season won't air until the Fall, when they will be tacked on to the second season. Which is just dumb in so many ways.

Old. Weird. American.

I've got a review of "The Old, Weird America: Harry Smith's Anthology of American Folk Music," which is screening at the San Francisco International Film Festival, up on SFist now!