ring christmas bells, Ring Christmas Bells, RING CHRISTMAS BELLS

And like that, it's all over. But it was fabulous while it lasted!

Christmas Eve was a blast, with family, good food, and more presents than could fit under the tree. One of the gifts I gave my aunt Bernadette caused her to burst into tears, in what I hope was a good way, but that was really the only bit of emotional outburst so I think we can deem the evening a success.

I decided to join my aunt Flora at midnight mass on Christmas Eve, and it's the first time I've been to midnight mass in over five years. We didn't go to St. Patrick's, the church my grandmother went to for a number of years; instead we went to mass at Old St. Mary's on California. It was quite lovely, with an hour of Christmas carols performed by a choir and a small orchestra beforehand (their rendition of that "Comfort and Joy" song was particularly dramatic. Also, one of the soloists sounded just like Sebastian Cabot Glen Yarbrough in "The Hobbit.") And the mass, while it had its moments of complete cheesiness (a bit of theater between the priest and the "Ghost of Caesar") was, for the most part, quite nice and not too...uh...preachy. But it was also kind of weird. After over two decades of Christmas masses in a church with a primarily Filipino congregation, and Filipino priests, it was odd seeing the mass being delivered by a white dude. Nonetheless, I'm really glad I went, and am actually looking forward to going again next year. (I think it's easier to get excited about going to church when you don't have to go every week. But don't tell God I said that!)

Going to bed after 2am meant I wasn't able to do do my usual wake at five because I'm emotionally stunted and can't wait to open all my presents thing. Instead, my parents' dog decided to wake me up at 7:30 because he's emotionally stunted and couldn't wait to open his presents. He's gone through enough of these to actually know it's Christmas morning, and after waking me he went and stood in front of his stocking and whined until we were all up and finally gave him a present to open. Sheesh. Children!

I got a lot of good loot, including a DVD recorder so I can finally transfer all those old bits of video I've accumulated on VHS over the years, and then post them up on YouTube to the delight of dozens!

The weirdest bit of Christmas kismet had to be when I looked at the DVD of "Blood Tea and Red String," one of my presents, and saw a quote from ME ON THE BACK OF THE DVD! Check it out! My first blurb!

Sigh. But now it's Tuesday, and I have to actually try and work. Sheesh! I better sneak another piece of coal on the fire and hope my boss doesn't find out!

Sandy Claws

I think I'm going to take a cue from my cat and just sit and stare at the presents under the tree until it's Christmas morning, because I'm too tired to do much else. Which isn't to say I'm not excited. Those are just yawns of glee!

Merry Christmas everybody!

I'm Also a Sucker For Really Bad Puns

I've got a brief post up on SFist about some of the weekend's holiday TV offerings, which includes the TV yule log. Hallelujah!

I've Got a Lot of Problems With You People!

Saturday is Festivus, and since I'll probably be busy raining blows upon strangers who get in my way at various stores tomorrow, I thought I'd send my greetings to you today.

Shockingly, the "Festivus" episode of "Seinfeld" is not airing anywhere locally tomorrow night (or today, for that matter). But fear not! You can watch the entire show right here!

It's a Festivus miracle!

I Want To Decide Who Lives and Who Dies

Last year, Chuck gave me a "Mystery Science Theater 3000" DVD with "Manos: The Hands of Fate" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," two of my favorite episodes of the show. I watched the "Santa Claus" episode again recently, and have decided to make it my regular Christmastime thing.

But I don't want to deprive you fine people of the same joy so, thanks to the joy of YouTube, here's the whole dang episode, broken up into 10 annoying chunks. Part one is below. Click on the following links to watch parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10! Merry Christmas!

Festive TV Fun

Freakgirl linked to this site, which has 101 Christmas videos. Like FULL-LENGTH and all. Including, awesomely, the infamous "Star Wars Holiday Special"!

Watch them before some Scrooge makes them disappear!

Christmas Is For the Young...And the Emotionally Stunted

Kirk's awesome "Twelve Years of Christmas" posts on his Secret Fun Blog inspired me to dig through some old Christmas photos and post them on Flickr. Check them out!

I'm not sure if I learned anything from looking at these old photos, except maybe that my Christmas glee began at an early age. And that at about age six my hair went horribly, horribly wrong.

In other news, Christmas is a week away. A WEEK! My Christmas glee is quickly turning into Christmas panic!

Reality Is Over

My final reality TV locals post is now up on SFist, and I am happy to say I am very pleased with the results. In that I am happy about who won. Want to know more, read the damn post!

The End Is Nigh

My penultimate reality TV locals post is now up on SFist!

It's been fun having locals to root for, but I'll be happy to take a break from this recapping thing for a while.

...on Lyle Lovett

My favorite MST3K short...

You Know What Else Makes the Baby Rain Cry?

Christmas Tree '06
Originally uploaded by Rain Rain Rain.

People not telling her what songs make them cry.

The only thing that will make the pain go away at this point is staring at my big ass Christmas tree.

Ahhhhh. That's better.

Click on the photo to go to flickr and see some more photos of my tree, some ornaments, and some friends.

Llorando

This post on EW's PopWatch got me thinking, but I don't want to get enmeshed in their comments, so I thought I'd raise the question here and see if anyone is brave enough to reply.

What songs make you cry?

Now, I realize the EW post is really about the world's saddest songs, and sad songs don't necessarily make people cry. They may make some want to slit their wrists. Or, perhaps, laugh hysterically at their overbearing earnestness. (I'm looking at you, Mr. "Meat Is Murder" Morrissey!)

But there are a few songs that, if I listen to them at the wrong time, will just make me bawl. One is "When She Loved Me" from "Toy Story 2," which I am loath to admit to because I really hate Sarah McLachlan (and don't care much for Randy Newman, for that matter). The really pathetic thing is, I cry because when I hear the song, I don't think about lost love or something, I actually hear it like one of my old stuffed animals is singing it about me.

Shut up!

Another tearjerker is "The Tigers Have Spoken" by Neko Case. Here's a sample of those lyrics:

They shot the tiger on his chain
In a field behind the cages
He walked in circles 'til he was crazy
And he lived that way forever
And he lived that way beside them,
Separate from the other tigers
He did not know another tiger
...
It was the last time he had felt alive
When he saw that brown-haired lady
She fed him with a bottle as a baby
And he recalled her face and smile
They shot that tiger on his chain

Songs about sad animals? You're killing me! Elvis' "Old Shep" can also bring me to tears.

So come on, you! There have got to be some songs that bring on the waterworks, either because of lyrics, or associations you have with the song. Fess up! Don't leave me crying here by myself!

December Madness

Man. This weekend was nuts.

Friday was my mom's birthday, and we had the requisite La Traviata dinner. It was its usual deliciousness.

On Saturday, I realized if I wanted to get a Christmas tree, there was no other choice but to rent a storage space and move some stuff into it, so I did. Why hadn't I decided to do this sooner? It's not much bigger than a large closet, but I can fit a lot of stuff in it, and plan to. I'll actually have closet space at home again!

Saturday night was my company holiday party, which required a drive in the pouring rain down to San Mateo. I sat with friends at the party for over an hour complaining about how loud the band was when we came to the realization that there was an entire other area of the party we hadn't even explored yet. We completely forgot it even existed. Inside it was heaven! Quiet, uncrowded, and full of the same booze and food as the main hall and--AND!--gambling. I ended up spending about two and half hours at a poker table. Gambling is fun when it doesn't involve actual money!

Sunday afternoon my father and I delivered Christmas stockings to PAWS clients, which was fun, and then it was off to buy Christmas trees. I was able to find a couple (one for me, one for my parents) that weren't ridiculously large. Mine is still pretty big, but it's not quite as fat as last year. (Just like me!) Sunday night was devoted to decorating my tree (putting over 400 lights on a tree sucks. I would pay someone to do that for me. Ugh!) and on Monday we decorated my parents' tree. (I'll put some pictures up of both when I take some!)

I can't believe there's only really one more weekend before Christmas. How did that happen?

Run Run Rudolph

Hey! "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is on tonight at 8 on CBS! Here's an old trailer.



And to read a little more about what I have to say about it, check out this SFist Watches post!

Locality

That's "local reality" folks! Clever, yeah?

Ahem.

Anyhoooot, this week's SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV is now up!

Help Me, Al Gore!

I'm too busy to blog. TOO BUSY TO LIVE!

Well, maybe not that busy, but I don't think you'll get much more out of me today, so just read this instead.

Melrose and the Grinch

Sounds like a police duo.

There's another SFist Watches: TV Tonight post up now!

Scary Mary

Here's another one of those fake movie trailers, this time turning "Mary Poppins" into a horror flick.



I don't think it's quite as successful as the "Shining" trailer, and I have a theory as to why. Kubrick didn't film "The Shining" like a typical horror movie. For the most part, the film is brightly lit, and in deep focus--not the usual dark, things-lurking-in-the-shadows photography used in most horror flicks. Therefore, it's kind of easy to make the movie look like a romantic comedy.

"Mary Poppins" is also brightly lit, and colorful, and the action in it is a little too goofy-looking, and thus it's a tad difficult to make the movie look scary. Although I think whoever did this trailer made an admirable effort.

[Via Boing Boing]

"Lost" Not Lost, Just Moving

When "Lost" comes back in February, it'll be on at 10pm instead of 9. (Where the former occupier of that slot, "The Nine," will go has yet to be revealed.) This is most likely so they can avoid competing with "American Idol," and I suppose that's wise, but I can't say I'm not a little disappointed. "Lost" is one of the only shows I pretty much watch live and I don't like the idea of having to wait another hour for it.

Listen to me. I sound like someone who still has faith in the show! Maybe it's good that it's going on hiatus for such a long time. It'll give me time to completely forget what I huge pile of crap that "Fall finale" was.

Better Late Than Never?

How come it feels like I have no time to get anything done, but don't actually seem to get anything done?

Anyway, I forgot to mention this SFist post about "The Year Without a Santa Claus." It was on tonight. But it'll be on again, don't worry!

I Want It All, and I Want It Easy

I'm pretending the holidays aren't steamrolling towards me by listening to Morningwood really loud. One doesn't have anything to do with the other, but it helps get the frustrations out.

I mean, look at them on Letterman, all dressed up and jiggly for Halloween. Who could resist?

Yul Tide

This week's reailty TV locals post is is now up!

Lobotomy

"3 lbs," the CBS drama about brain surgery, looks to be another Tuesday night at 10pm casualty for the network. (It also falls into the "new shows with a number in their titles getting the boot" trend.) Can't say I'm that broken up about it. The only thing that kept me tuned was the hopes that they'd eventually get to an episode where someone had the same kind of tumor I had.

In other news, a British series called "Afterlife" premieres on BBC America tonight, and it sounds intriguing enough to give a look.

You Can Watch the First Six Episodes of "Heroes" (Just for One Day)

Marathon alert! The Sci-Fi channel is running the first six episodes of "Heroes," the show you hate to love, tonight, starting at 6pm. Of course, the show has aired 10 episodes so far, so you'll have to find some other way to see those other four...

Sheesh, Linus, Do We Have to Talk About Religion? It's Christmas!

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" is airing tonight (Tuesday!) at 8pm on ABC, but in case you forgot to set those TiVos, just can't make it home to watch it, or just plain can't wait until then, you can watch it all right here, right now!

The Nein

"The Nine" is joining "Six Degrees" in limbo land as ABC has pulled it from broadcast until further notice.

I guess the network just can't stand shows that have numbers in their titles.

Is It Normal For the Post-Thanksgiving Nap to Last a Whole Day?

'Cause I think I might need to go back to bed soon.

In other news, my weekly reality TV locals post is now up on SFist!

The Return of Brian Atene

It's the real deal this time, and it's almost as bizarre as his original video. [via Boing Boing]

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm not sure if I'll be doing any blogging tomorrow, so in case I don't here's an early "Happy Thanksgiving!" from me. It's a short film from the 1950s, that's earnest and only slightly amusing.

Man, how I wish it was accompanied by commentary from the MST3K lads. In fact, I miss those guys a lot, especially around Thanksgiving. I remember when Comedy Central used to air 24 hours of "MST3K" episodes as a Thanksgiving "turkey" marathon. Those were the days...

Who's a Big Birthday Boy Today?

Oh, yes you are!

Check out the trailer to the David Fincher "Zodiac" movie. I'm seeing the hell out of this one when it's released.

No, It's Not a Trick

It's an illusion!

"Arrested Development" is now available online, for free and stuff.

Well, the first five episodes are. And you need to have Internet Explorer. And Windows Media Player. And Flash.

OK. Maybe it is a trick

Great. Now I've Got No Excuse to Stay at Home on a Friday Night

Apparently, starting January 21st, "Battlestar Galactica" will be moving to Sunday nights at 10. There's no new episode this week, but it'll be back next Friday with the first of three episodes that will air before it goes on break until January 21st.

So, that means there won't be anything worth watching on Friday nights, unless some midseason replacement series premieres in January. Oh well. At least they didn't move it to Thursdays. I think my head (and my TiVo) would have exploded if they put another damn show I want to watch on that night.

The Long Goodbye

RIP Robert Altman.

He made movies I loved, and movies I didn't. But he always made movies I wanted to see.

Right now, I feel bad for my dad, because he was one of Altman's biggest fans. Sorry, Pa!

So Our Accident...Is Not an Accident At All

If anyone wonders why I don't watch "CSI: Miami," you need only look at this compilation of cheesy line readings from David Caruso to understand why. Awesome. [via PopWatch ]

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire...Right?

Yesterday I was on Potrero Hill, driving towards the 280 on-ramp, when I saw a huge plume of black smoke pouring out of a building close to downtown. It soon turned to white smoke, but it looked like it had been burning for a while as the skyline had a haze of smoke about it.

Today I tried to look up, on various news sites and search engines, something about the fire, and I could find nothing about a fire in downtown San Francisco on Saturday, November 18th. What the hell?

Oh Yeah, Here, That Thing

My SFist post on reality TV locals is up. A little late...

What?...What the fu--?...Is She German?

In high school I developed a fascination with Edie Sedgwick and the whole Andy Warhol Factory thing. So I was a little excited at the prospects of an Edie Sedgwick movie (the idea of which has been floating around for years. I remember when Molly Ringwald was going to star as Edie).

But this trailer has me very worried. What's up with Sienna Miller's accent? Edie had one of those weird New England accents, but I don't remember it sounding like this.

In 2-D!

In case you haven't seen the latest trailer for the "Simpsons" movie...

Speaking of Which, Where's "30 Rock"?

Well, it's moved to Thursday nights, with a 40 minute episode airing tonight at 9:20pm. Next Thursday there's a two-hour (TWO HOURS?) episode of "Deal or No Deal," because people can't be expected to actually have to think after eating five pounds of turkey, but "30 Rock" will be back the following week, along with "Scrubs," woo!

Separated From "Six Degrees"

If you're wondering where the hell "Six Degrees" went, it's been pulled from Thursday nights. They say it it'll come back in January, and I hope so. Again, I can't defend liking the show; it really wasn't about much of anything. But I liked the characters, and I liked seeing New York in a series again (instead of Canada or Hollywood pretending to be New York).

"Men In Trees" will move from Fridays to "Six"'s Thursdays at 10pm slot beginning November 30th. Which means there will now be only one show on Friday nights worth watching. (I am speaking, of course, about "Battlestar Galactica.")

Which "Law and Order" Will Turn It Into an Episode?

It was a little bit of hell not having any Internet access while on vacation. I ended up missing stories like how actress and director Adrienne Shelley was found dead in an apparent suicide that turned out to be murder. Freaky. And incredibly sad. She starred in one of my favorite indie movies of the '90s, Hal Hartley's "Trust." Go rent it.

I'll never complain about noise again.

And Another Thing

The residual effects of vacation are still hanging on. I woke up with a sore throat, a swollen lip, and a neck so stiff I could barely move it. Add to that the fact that the mosquito bites I suffered while in Louisiana seem to be getting worse. I've got huge red welts all over my legs. It's really gruesome. West Nile?

Did I mention I decided to upgrade to first class for my flight home? First time for first class, and it was pretty sweet. I don't think it was really worth the cost--although I'm not sure what would make it worth the cost. Maybe food that was actually good and not just mediocre and free? And I suppose if I were still a hard-drinking girl, the free cocktails might make it worth it. As it was it was still awful nice, what with the warm nuts (dirty!), hot hand towels, and freshly-baked cookies. Didn't really help with my fear of flying, although I did have moments of thinking, "Well, if we crash, at least I'll have plenty of leg room when it happens."

In completely unrelated news, there's a new series premiering on CBS tonight called "3 lbs" and it sounds a lot like "House" but set in the field of brain surgery. Stanley Tucci is House. Being that I've actually had brain surgery in my lifetime, I'll admit to having some interest in the show. CBS sent me a copy of the pilot along with a squishy brain, but vacation came along and I never got a chance to watch it. I appreciate the brain, though.

It's Time For the Vacation Photos!

My Louisiana photos are up! Go to the Flickr photoset to view them and read all about our trip.

A lot of the photos would probably look better after a little trip to the Photoshop, but if I did that, I wouldn't have gotten them up until after Christmas. Oh well!

Man. I'm still tired. I need a vacation to recover from my vacation!

Sho Nuff

I'm back!

And I'm pooped. The trip was great. And sad. Sad and great. Great because I loved seeing New Orleans again; I really love that town. Also great was finally meeting my three Louisiana cousins, and seeing my grandmother, uncle, and aunt again.

And it was sad because New Orleans really is just a shell of a city right now. Sure, the French Quarter and the Garden District are still pretty much the same, but drive out of it and you'll see house after house abandoned, stores shut down, and neighborhoods devastated. It's truly heartbreaking.

I have stories to tell, and many, many photos to show (and will most likely relegate the stories to their accompanying photos on Flickr. I'll tell ya when!) but for now I have a LOT of work, email, blogs, cat petting and, most importantly, television to catch up on. It's good to be home!

Am I On Vacation Yet?

This time tomorrow I should be in New Orleans, stuffing my face with a mufaletta, or a po' boy, or something else delicious and completely bad for me. Whatever I'm eating, I won't be at work, and won't be there for a whole week, and that's just plain awesome.

I can't say I'm not a little worried about the trip (airplane flight notwithstanding) especially when I realize hurricane season isn't officially over yet. And after reading articles about how some people in the city have gone so nuts that they're killing and cooking each other, (I shit you not). New Orleans has always been a dangerous city, and that certainly hasn't changed after Katrina.

But I think once I set foot in the French Quarter, and smell the unmistakable stench of booze, puke, and horse manure, all those worries will drift away. With the help of a mint julep or two.

Meanwhile, I had to board Tori today, and that was heartbreaking. She was so sad! I wish there was some kind of kitty spa I could take her to instead, but she's such a skittish cat, I don't think she'd really enjoy that either. I can't wait to leave, because the apartment is very lonely without her!

Last night I had a horrible night of waiting for MUNI. I waited 45 minutes for the 27 Bryant to take me home. There were no cabs to be had, and normally I would have just trekked up the hill, but my feet were killing me. To top it off, some guy kept passing out below me. Weird! I was standing above the Powell Street station, listening to my iPod, next to some newspaper stands, and I moved my foot, and felt something that hadn't been there previously. So I looked down and I saw that I had just kicked some guy in the head. He didn't seem to mind, as he just kind of readjusted himself.

So I moved over to another bunch of newspaper stands, and looked down at the Powell Street Station plaza. Sitting on the stairs was a young couple. The girl was obviously completely blotto, and the guy was doing his best to comfort her. She alternately pushed him away and leaned into him--when she wasn't puking, that is. So of course I had to break out the camera and film it!



I was doing that for a few seconds when I felt something brush against my feet again, so I looked down, and there was the passed-out-guy again! He had gotten up from his spot, moved over to my corner and passed out again. The hell??

All that was entertaining and everything, but it was getting close to 11 and all I wanted was to get the hell home. So I ended up having to take the Powell cable car up the hill, and narrowly dodged a flying panini some asshole decided to throw at the cable car full of tourists. And then we had to wait five minutes as one of those groups of totally annoying rollerbladers blocked the street. Gah!

Needless to say, I need a vacation. I'm hoping the hotel will have some free wifi, in which case I will do my best to post some photos and stories during the week. If not, I'm sure you'll hear all about it when I get back!

Jericho Is Ridiculous

The only thing I can think of accounting for the success of "Jericho" is it must be playing big in the heartland. It's set there, and seems to offer glimpses of those good old-fashioned family values we're always told exist there (and only there). You know, like having the whole town gather together to help the local farmer harvest his corn before it rots. Because if he doesn't harvest his corn, then he won't have a crop to sell...to...uh. Who exactly? They're cut off from the rest of the country because of a SERIES OF NUCLEAR BLASTS.

And this week, the whole town is carving pumpkins, decorating their houses, and dressing their kids up for Halloween. What the hell? Is this supposed to be some illustration of the amazing perseverance of the American spirit? Because to me it just illustrates America's amazing ability to stick its head in the ground and not acknowledge that the world is falling apart around them.

I'm sure you're asking why I keep watching. And I don't really know. Most of the time it's just kind of on in the background as I'm working. And when I start with a show, I have an annoying habit of seeing it to its bitter end.

Round 'em Up!

This week's reality TV round-up is now up on SFist.

And yeah, the look of SFist has changed. For the record, I know it kind of looks like ass right now, but I'm hoping they iron out the kinks soon enough...

Perhaps the Rest of the "Lost" Cast Should Rely on Chauffeurs From Now On

Don't read this if you haven't watched the latest episode of "Lost" yet.

So, another Tailie with a moving violation bites the dust. I can't say I like it. What was the point of introducing the Tailies last season? To have more characters to kill off? And who's left now? Bernard? And we haven't seen him all season, have we?

Anyway, here's some explanation for the killing off of Mr. Eko. As tends to be the case, it had more to do with the desires of the actor, and less to do with the needs of the plot. I'm sad to see him go, because I thought he was one of the most interesting characters on the show, and personally, I didn't think his send-off was that great. First, it began with a hackneyed flashback of a flashback (which is, I think, a first for the show, and totally annoying because it was obviously put there for new or lazy viewers, which is something this show has managed to avoid doing in the past). And the new flashback stuff didn't tell us anything we didn't already know about Eko. Yeah, he had unresolved issues with his brother and his former life as a druglord. But didn't he already deal with that when he found the plane last season? The whole thing was redundant and unnecessary. And the smoke monster still makes no sense.

As for the whole Ben tumor thing. Again, what's so hard about just coming out and asking Jack to perform the surgery in the first place? They need to start telling us WHY the others insist on using coercion and torture to get what they want, because as it is now, it's confusing and just ends up being stupid.

Ben: I am going to break you down until you give in and perform this surgery!

Jack: Dude. I'll do it. No need for any torture.

Ben: NO! You have to WANT to save my life.

Jack: If you break down my free will, and coerce me into saving your life, how is that really me WANTING to do it?

Ben: Shut it! Juliet! Bring the tazer.

Next week better kick ass. That's all I'm saying.

Found!

Good news! My parents' car was found in Oakland. Seems to be in good shape, too.

I bet the thief drove around for a day with the windshield wipers going, realized he didn't know how to get them to turn off, and just ditched the car in frustration. (The secret involves jamming a pen under the windshield wiper knob. I guess it pays not to get those kinds of things fixed!)

"Kidnapped" Kidnapped!

Looks like NBC is giving up completely on "Kidnapped" as they have now pulled it from it's Saturday night graveyard. It will be replaced by "Law & Order" reruns (just what we need more of!).

I don't get it. They cut the show to 13 episodes, which are presumably already shot, and now they won't give the (admittedly few) viewers who stuck around the chance to see them? No one watches TV on Saturday nights (or so they tell us) so what have they got to lose by airing the rest of the show? I don't think viewers are now going to flock to the channel on Saturday nights because "L&O" is on.

I wasn't even that big a fan of the show, but it annoys me to no end when they air just enough episodes of a show to get you hooked, and then yank it away from you. Cancel after two or three, that's fine, but "Kidnapped" was what? Almost half-way done? Now I may never know who the hell kidnapped that kid and if he'll be able to cover-up the hole he dug through his mattress to retrieve that cell phone (that I actually have no idea how he got). Oh well. Maybe they'll put the missing eps online. Or DVD.

Hey, Isn't Today Halloween?

The day passed by and I almost forgot it was Halloween. Busy day at work and all that. I did get some punk ass kids trying to trick or treat in my building once I got home; pre-teens obviously too old to be trick or treating. That would be fine if they actually had some cool costumes, but I think one was wearing a pirate flag as a cape, and that was the extent of his costume, and the other was just dressed in black. Oooo! Scary! Luckily I live on the top floor, and they were too lazy to venture to my door.

Now I'm watching "Halloween" as I cook me some dinner. Exciting! I didn't even carve a jack o'lantern this year. But my friend Dave did. Be sure to check out his Pumpkin House of Horrors!

And if you'd like to listen to something truly frightening, here's the Shaggs classic, "It's Halloween."

Ya! I Voted!

For the first time since I was old enough to vote, I won't be making it to the polling place come election day. I'm going to be on vacation, you see. But I am voting. Already have, in fact. Dropped my absentee ballot in the mail just this morning. So why do I feel like I just dropped it into a bottomless pit, never to be seen by human eyes again?

The cynic in me doesn't believe that absentee ballots are actually counted at all. Of course that can't be true, but has an election ever been decided by a count of absentee ballots? I kind of feel like come election night when the vote counters, or whatever, get done with that day's ballots, they look over at a pile of absentee ballots and sarcastically mutter, "Oh, let's not forget these guys."

Undoubtedly I have the whole process wrong. Nonetheless, I don't really feel like I've actually gone and done my civic duty. Maybe it's because I don't get to sport a condescending "I Voted" sticker for the rest of the day.

Stolen!

My parents' car was stolen last night. Bastards!

It's a piece of crap Honda Civic made during the last century (Ha! That's actually true!) with no radio, so why anyone would want to steal it is beyond me. It kinda looks like the one pictured. So, if you see a tan Civic hatchback with a bunch of pillows in the back, and a crooked fender, and someone behind the wheel who looks pissed that he's in such a crappy car, drop me a line.

A Storm's Approaching

Storm Large (and the Balls) will be playing the Red Devil Lounge this Thursday. But being that she won't be hitting the stage until after 11pm, and I have to work in the morning, and I'm OLD, I won't be going. Even though it is, literally, just a few blocks from my apartment.

Lame? Yes. Yes I am.

No YouTube Clips For You!

As you may have heard by now, YouTube has started to remove "Comedy Central" clips from their site.

I don't want to get into an argument about copyright laws, but this seems kind of a dumb move to me. First, Comedy Central's video viewing site sucks ass, so it's not like people will now be going over there to watch stuff. And second, most of the time, it was just clips from their shows that were making it to YouTube, which seems like nothing but free publicity to me. People see the clip, think "Me want more!" and then either watch the show on TV, or venture over to the Comedy Central site in a (usually fruitless) quest to see more.

I Got a Rock...

Tivo alert! "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" is airing on ABC tonight at 8pm.

Nothing says Halloween like clinical depression and the delusional stalking of imaginary celebrities.

Round-Up!

This week's reality round-up is now up on SFist!

Nobody's Watching Lost

The Nobody's Watching boys take on "Lost."

In case you've never head of "Nobody's Watching," it was a failed sitcom pilot that made its way to YouTube, and became a hit, giving new life to the show and its actors and writers. They have since done a bunch of short videos that can be found on YouTube and on their Web site.

Anyhoo, this is the latest. It's not the funniest thing ever, (that would be the Stanley Kubrick audition tape that's going around), but I do appreciate the cameo in it...

San Francisco Is the Island of "Lost"

Don't read this if you haven't watched the latest episode of "Lost" yet.

So, let me see if I'm getting this. The Others have lived on this island for a long time, for reasons yet to be explained. For some reason, they are wary of strangers coming to their island, so they try to clandestinely learn about the survivors of the plane crash. And maybe kidnap all their children (although that might be the work of Other Others). Then they find out one of the survivors is a spinal surgeon, and since one of them has a nice fat tumor on his spine, he goes out to get himself captured and then try and lure the surgeon, or have him set-up for an abduction back to....a second island that none of the Losties has ever managed to notice. That's a little bigger than Alcatraz.

I have indicated that I have all kinds of patience when it comes to this show. I firmly believe it's not the destination with this one, but the journey, and the journey has been a hoot. But this Others stuff is really beginning to wear me down. We have no explanation for why they continue to play mind games with these survivors, and the more that goes on, the less an explanation will really matter. It's still not clear whether the Others ARE the Dharma initiative, just survivors of the Initiative, or something completely unrelated. Someone is still delivering supplies to the hatch, so someone thinks those experiments are still going on, right? And speaking of the hatch, could they tell us what the hell happened to it already? Did that sonic boom cause anything to happen besides causing the hatch door to land on the beach? Was the hatch bunker completely destroyed? And what's with the giant foot statue?

I think the show worked better when they kind of trickled the clues in a little at a time. But now that they've devoted full episodes to the mysterious undertakings of the Others, without providing any real answers, it's just become annoying. How can they show us so much and tell us so little? There better be some awesome reveals in the next two episodes, because I want to go back to longing for the show when it goes on its three month hiatus instead of welcoming a break from the bullshit.

NBC Scrambles

"30 Rock" and "Scrubs" will be moving to Thursday nights on November 30th, giving that night two full hours of comedy as lead in to the gut-busting laugh riot that is "ER" at 10 o'clock.

This is a good sign for "30 Rock," as it means the network is actually thinking it will still be on the air a month from now. But putting it up against "CSI" and "Grey's Anatomy" is probably not going to mean better ratings, so the show is still basically on shaky ground.

There's been a lot of talk about NBC announcing they are all but giving up on producing more comedies and dramas to air during the eight o'clock hour, and will instead air reality and game shows. I had just been thinking how refreshing it's been that there are relatively few reality shows on network TV this season (comparatively) and here NBC comes along saying they want to change that. Frankly, I think reality TV hit its peak a while ago, and NBC's investing more into the genre is just a step backwards. NBC also has one of the only new dramas that can be called a hit ("Heroes") so I don't know why they aren't taking something away from that.

But the way networks work will always be a complete mystery to me. Like, why does NBC insist on running little spots at the end of shows that say something like, "Stay tuned for more '30 Rock'!" making us think there will be previews for next week, or a little stinger before the end credits, when it fact there's nothing but commercials. That's just sleazy!

Because There's Nothing Better Than Watching The Office While In the Office

For some reason, this site has every episode of the American version of "The Office" online. For free and stuff. [via Too Much Free Time]

Edited to add: Well, that was fun while it lasted. I managed to watch almost all of the episodes I had missed before the site got taken down.

How Many Pounds Is 40 Kilograms?

Rock Star Supernova has hit another snag on its road to mediocrity superstardom as bassist Jason Newstead was injured in a "freak mishap." This "mishap" follows the band being sued over use of the name "Supernova," and the ultimate mishap of choosing Lukas Rossi as its lead singer.

Hmmm. Wonder when Storm and the Balls will be hitting the road?

No, You May Not Have a Flexy the Pocket Monkey!

The complete first season of "Saturday Night Live" is going to be released on DVD. Finally! I realize that much of the first season is painful to watch. But parts of it are brilliant, and a lot of it never made it to syndicated reruns because those reruns are only an hour long.

Personally, I'm holding out for season two (I think), when Bill Murray joined the cast, so I can finally see his "Santa's Trap Door" sketch again. For whatever reason, they decided not to include that bit in the reruns of the episode, and I remember it making quite the impression on me as a kid. In a good way.

Amy Sedaris Alert!

I'm still bummed that I won't be able to see Amy Sedaris tomorrow, but I guess I will just have to make do with her appearance on "The Martha Stewart Show" today!

If you miss it, I think the shows are viewable the next day on the Web site.

State of TV: Sundays (and Saturdays, Kind Of)

Is Sunday the end or the beginning of the TV week?

"Kidnapped" has been pretty much killed, and dumped onto Saturday nights at 9. I didn't think the show was the most riveting thing on TV, but I appreciated its attempt at story-centered drama. There are only so many procedurals one can take. Unfortunately, NBC didn't give it much of a chance. On the other hand, it's basically up against nothing, so maybe it'll end its life with some good numbers.

"The Simpsons" remains on Sunday nights, although baseball continues to push it off the air for most of October, and once again its annual Treehouse of Horror episode is going to have to air AFTER Halloween. Annoying!

Also at 8pm on Sunday is "The Amazing Race" which has been pretty good this season, especially compared to that awful family edition. I include it in my weekly Reality Locals recaps, so I don't think I have much more to say about it here.

At 9 "Desperate Housewives" continues its attempts to dig itself out of the hole of suck it fell into last season. I wasn't a big fan of the show from the beginning--I thought its attempts at satire were pretty weak, and didn't buy it as a fluffy soap either. But last season was even worse. So why do I keep watching? Good question. And the answer is, I have no idea. The only character I've ever enjoyed has been Bree, but this season they have again paired her with a psychopathic boyfriend (now husband), and she just never seemed like such a dumb character that she wouldn't learn from her mistakes. Felicity Huffman's character seems to be many fans' favorite, but I've always found her portrayal of Lynette to be lacking in any real subtlety. Like the rest of the show, it's just a little cartoonish for its own good. I wish there was something else at 9pm on Sundays I thought was worth watching.

Which brings us to 10pm and "Brothers and Sisters" the show whose biggest claims-to-fame are Marti Noxon quit after a few months of production, and Calista Flockhart chose it to make her triumphant return to TV. It's your basic family drama, and so far has brought nothing particularly interesting to the TV schedule. The family is dysfunctional, but not in any real entertaining way. The cast includes some good actors, including Sally Field, but they can't manage to breath any real life into some pretty boring scripts. There's just not enough humor or, clever dialogue, or cute guys, or...anything to keep it from being the show I fall asleep to on Sunday nights.

Amy Sedaris Alert!

She's going to be on the "Martha" show Monday. Set those TiVos!

Locals Still Going Strong

This week's post about reality locals is now up on SFist!

The locals are doing surprisingly well. Except when they're not. Read the post to learn more.

State of TV: Fridays

TGIF!

Especially because it means less TV I have to watch! Not that I don't love me some TV. But even I need a break sometimes.

The first Friday must see is "Meerkat Manor," although I'm still torn up about the disappearance of Courageous Little Shakespeare, and that Flower is one tough matriarch, isn't she? I guess this season's sad sack is Mozart, who was banished from the manor because she got pregnant by a meerkat from a rival tribe--big no no!--and Flower wasn't about to deal with any other pups when she was expecting her own (that girl can reproduce, yo). Alas, Mozart's pups died, and last we saw her she was hoping to be accepted back into the Whiskers tribe. Man. This show can be damned heartbreaking!

Now comes my shameful confession. I watch "Men In Trees." I'm not saying I like it. I'm only saying I watch it. Really, it's pretty awful, so obviously ripping off from both "Northern Exposure" and "Sex and the City," (although since one of the show's creators was also a writer on "SATC," that's to be expected). It really does not fill the void left by the loss of "Sex and the City," though, so I remain perplexed over just why I keep watching. I suppose it's because Friday is a slim night for TV. And it's a completely fluffy, unthinky show, which is just what I need at the end of the week.

Unlike "Battlestar Galactica," which remains extremely thinky and challenging. In that way it's almost the polar opposite of "Men In Trees." But I'm not complaining about the show's complexity; it still blows me away week after week. I will admit, however, that I am getting anxious about the whole New Caprica setting. I want to see the show get back into space--it is called "Battlestar Galactica" after all. And I want to see Starbuck cut her hair and kick some ass again. I also want them to get on with the revelation of the other Cylon models, or at least one or two. The longer they wait, the more disappointed I will inevitably be with those reveals.

Also, when Boomer finds out her baby is still alive? That is going to be...intense.

Halloweeny Tee Vee

Here's a good list of Halloween TV coming up in the next 10 days or so.

I love this time of year for TV. Especially the annual viewing of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (which will air Friday the 27th at 8pm on ABC).

McGay

T.R. Knight, the actor who portrays George on "Grey's Anatomy," has admitted he's gay.

Not sure if he was before the show started, but I wouldn't be surprised if those scenes he had to spend in bed with Ellen Pompeo kind of sealed the deal.

Liza With a "Holy Crap!"

Remember back when Liza and David Gest first got married and they were going to have a reality show on VH-1? Yeah, amazingly that never made it on the air. But low and behold, it has made it to YouTube. And it's...well, pretty much what you'd expect it to be. Watch as Liza sweats! Thrill to the sight of David Gest buying CDs!

Part one is below. And here are parts two and three. Hopefully YouTube will keep them up there. The whole thing is also on Google Video, but I can't get it to play. [via PopWatch]

I'd Never Be Caught Dead On a Segway

Unless it was the one that GOB rode on "Arrested Development"!

Come on! Let's pool our resources! And there might even be a few magic tricks illusions in that handlebar bag! [via Gizmodo]

State of TV: Thursdays

Thursday! The most crowded night on television!

The 8 o'clock hour brings us "Ugly Betty" on ABC, one of the only new shows that can be called a hit. It's cute and it's for girls! My only fear is we've had three episodes so far, and they've been pretty much the same, storywise. Betty's happy about her job, her co-workers make fun of her, then Betty's sad about her job and wants to quit, then Betty saves the day and her boss's ass, and loves her job again. Yeah, we kind of get the she's-an-outcast thing. Maybe do something a little different with it? Also, for a show about fashion, the fashions on the show aren't that great. Still, it is charming, and not really like anything else on TV right now, so I'll keep watching.

Over on CBS, "Survivor" continues after teasing us with a "race war" and only giving us two weeks of it. I think I have the rest covered over in my locals recap, so let's move on...

To "My Name Is Earl" and "The Office." Earl continues to be amusing, but if Jamie Pressly wasn't on the show, I think I'd have to stop watching. As for "The Office," I'm not too happy with the way Jim and Pam romance played out, but I've expressed my annoyance at the old "gotta keep the people meant for each other apart! It's more dramatic!" convention before. For once I'd like to see those people just end up together and be happy. But then again, I can't imagine Jim and Pam ending up together and remaining as workers in that office, that would just be kind of sad, so I suppose there just isn't a choice here. Perhaps they'll just save the romantic resolution for the series finale, (or reunion, as the original series did). Aside from all that, the show is still pretty darn funny.

Come 9pm it's "Grey's Anatomy" and "CSI." "CSI" remains the only "CSI" I watch, and I still enjoy it, but I have to admit I don't really pay that much attention to it when I watch it. Since about 15 minutes of the show is devoted to some kind of lab work musical montage, I'm not missing too much, and I tend to get the gist of the mysteries involved. "Grey's Anatomy" continues to annoy me, or more specifically, Meredith continues to annoy me, but thankfully there are plenty of other, less annoying characters to watch, so I just go and do the dishes or wash my face or nap whenever Meredith and McDreamy are on screen. Yes, he's still pretty dreamy, but he's becoming just as annoying as Meredith, and I'd really like the show a whole lot more if each episode began with them sneaking into a closet to do it, where they'd remain, unseen, for the remainder of the episode. Then at the very end, they could come out looking sheepish, and the credits could begin. Perfect!

Finally, at 10pm we have "ER" and "Six Degrees." "ER" is obviously taking some clues from "Grey's Anatomy" and playing up the personal angle more than the ER angle. Even more than that, they've started using obscure pop songs during montages, which is pure "Grey's." It must be working as the show has seen an uptick in the ratings, and has even kept me watching when I was sure I'd call it quits this season. In all honesty, I think it's a better show than "Grey's Anatomy," but "Grey's" is just easier to watch, and a lot less intense.

It could be argued that "Six Degrees," another entry into the "many strangers, some connection" genre, is the weakest of those entries, as so far, there's nothing much bigger than coincidence connecting these people. No nuclear explosions, no bank robbery. Just...coincidence. And I kind of like it that way. Some would call the show boring, but I continue to watch week after week, and am more interested in these screwed up New Yorkers than I am in those Armageddon survivors in Kansas, or those bank robbery survivors in...LA? I care so little about them that I don't even know where they're supposed to live. There's no doubt where "Six Degrees" takes place; New York is practically a character in itself. I also think it helps that the show has some really good actors, like Hope Davis and Campbell Scott, and they manage to keep it more interesting than it might be with a bunch of the usual TV talent. I really can't argue with anyone who says the show doesn't seem to have a point; it doesn't. But when the acting is good, and the storytelling is good, sometimes, that's enough.

She Likes You

Anyone catch Amy Sedaris on "The Daily Show" last night? (It's repeated many times today if you didn't.)

Also, for those who can make it, she's going to be reading and signing her new book at the Book Passage in Corte Madera next Tuesday. Unfortunately, it's at 1pm, so I can't go. Waaaaaaaa!

To tide you over until then, and to get you prepped for Halloween, read her tips on hosting a Halloween party!

State of TV: Wednesdays

Wednesday. Please, please don't call it hump day.

I'm sure some kind of hump/"America's Next Top Model" joke can be made (involving, no doubt, Fergie), but I'm just too tired to come up with it. So let's instead talk about Tyra's huge ego. Seriously, girl needs to get over herself. It's especially amusing when she gives the girls modeling advice like, "You're smiling, but you're dead in the eyes. You need to be less like this-" opens her eyes and stares ahead, "and more like this-" opens her eyes and stares ahead. Yeah. Thanks Tyra. You're brilliant. And I think anything else I have to say about the show I say every week with my locals recap on SFist.

Also at 8pm is "Jericho" one of the only new dramas to get a full season order, meaning it's a hit. And for the life of me, I can't understand why. We're what--four? five?--episodes in and we still have no clue what went down with all those nuclear explosions, and instead have been stuck in a Kansas city town with a bunch of locals who are dealing with nuclear fall out and radiation poisoning. How fun! And these people just don't act like people would if nuclear Armageddon had broken out. The local teens hold a keggar, and the local adults almost take up arms when the possibility that the town saloon's generator may run out of gas. OK, sure, maybe this is the way real people would act, but the show doesn't manage to do it convincingly. No one seems that...concerned about what's really gone down. I can understand the desire to drink oneself silly if the nuclear bomb was dropped on a nearby city, but I think I'd either be sobbing, or completely slap-happy while doing it. I'd hope I wouldn't be a total bore like every last resident of Jericho seems to be.

"30 Rock" kind of tanked in the ratings, and the critics didn't seem to like it much either, which has me flummoxed. Of course I've only watched one episode so far, but I still think that one episode was funny. I really hope it doesn't get cancelled.

Which brings us to "Lost," which has also been losing viewers and pissing off critics. Me, I'm happy with the way it's played out so far. I like that this season has introduced a new set of characters, just as season two did with the Tailies. And I'm intrigued enough by the Others' shenanigans to remain hopelessly addicted to the show. I will say I'm disappointed they brought the "it might not be Jin's baby" plot into play. I don't like how that makes Sun a liar (well, more of a liar) and possibly removes the supernatural (or Other) explanation for her pregnancy. I also can't stop thinking about how there are only six episodes (three more to go!) before the show dissapears for months. Can they possibly give us (and especially viewers who are leaving) a good enough finale and/or cliffhanger to get us to come back in February? My faith remains in the show, but that doesn't mean I won't worry.

Following "Lost" is "The Nine" at 10pm, the drama about nine people who survive a bank robbery. While the nine tend to be more interesting than the inhabitants of Jericho, Kansas, they still aren't compelling enough to actually get me excited about the show. I keep watching because I want to see what happened in that bank and see how it plays out over the season, but something tells me the payoff is going to be disappointing. I also really dislike Tim Daly's character, which is a shame since his story has been getting more play than the others. But then when I do think about the other characters, I actually can't think of any I'd want to see more of, so I guess that criticism isn't really valid. I will say I thought the ending to last week's episode, with the teenage girl's realization about the 911 one call, was very effective. But it remains a small part of a bigger mystery that is, at this point, just not that riveting.

Finally, for one more week (meaning tonight) we've got "Project Runway." I'm glad to say that this reality show remains the best reality show on TV, and this season can only end up being better than last season's, since none of the designers is showing signs of having a collection as horrendous as last season's winner, Chloe Dao's. (Oh, the "Dynasty" nightmares those dresses gave me!) For the record, I'm rooting for Laura. She has a boring aesthetic I find quite pleasing. (And I think the previews showing jerkwad Jeffrey's breaking down crying are probably his crying with relief that he hasn't been disqualified for cheating. Although I'm kinda hoping he does get busted for something. He's just so ick.)

Following the finale of "Runway" is the premiere of "Top Chef," which was suprisingly good last season. Unlike "Hell's Kitchen" that other reality cooking show, the chefs on "Top Chef" have to have actual talent to win, and not just the ability to put together generic menus while someone screams at them and calls them donkeys. Unfortunately, the show is taking place in LA this year, instead of San Francisco; part of the fun of the show was seeing the local eateries and neighborhoods being featured each week. But maybe if this season does well they'll bring it back to SF for season three.

The Creepiest Creep That Ever Creeped

Did anyone watch John Mark Karr on "Larry King Live" yesterday? (You can watch parts of the interview online now.) It really makes me sick that this creep is still getting media coverage. Yes, the charges against him have been dropped, but he chose to give a false confession and that in itself is creepy enough to warrant a media blackout. Stop putting him in the news. There are more important things to talk about.

Like this.

State of TV: Tuesdays

Part two of my daily rambling about what I watch and why I watch it.

Tuesdays. 8pm. First and foremost is "Gilmore Girls," even though I completely hate the plot developments that happened last year. So many people bemoan the loss of the Palladinos, and I maintain that they were the writers that threw Luke and Lorelei together--something fans have been dying for for many years--and they were also the writers that totally fracked up that relationship by introducing April, Luke's out of the blue illegitimate daughter (and an ex-girlfriend as her mother), and turned Luke into a total asshole. If it was the intent all along to get Lorelei and Christopher together, they could have come up with a better plot line than that love child ridiculousness to separate Luke and Lorelei. In fact, why bother having them get together at all?

It gets me really worked up and, again, I blame it all on the Palladinos. If this season sucks, there's no one to blame but them. All that said, I still watch, just because I want to see if the show can pull itself out of the black hole. Also, the whole "Lane is pregnant" thing? I'll place the blame of that on the new guy. What a horrible way to treat a fun character. Have her marry too young, have a horrible honeymoon complete with unenjoyable (first time!) sex, and end up pregnant as a result. What has Lane ever done to deserve that?? *Sigh.* At least Jess is gone...for now.

I've already talked about giving up on "Friday Night Lights," which is also on at 8pm. I ended up watching the second episode while working, and remained just as uninterested. I don't think I can invest much more in it, since the ratings have been abysmal, and it's likely to get cancelled anyway.

The 9 o'clock hour brings us "Veronica Mars" and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent." I don't think I need to go into why I watch "Criminal Intent," but just in case, I'll reduce it to two words: Vincent D'Onofrio. The episodes with Chris Noth are just annoying filler.

As for "Veronica Mars," I continue to be more and more disappointed with the show. It has yet to reach the high bar set by the first season, and I've said before that I found the second season a bloated, confusing mess. It seems the series will be presenting more one-off storylines in an attempt to attract new viewers, but the underlying mystery of the on-campus, head-shaving rapist is a little grim (albeit not as grim as the first season's murdered girl mystery); it's just I don't like the idea of rape being a constant plotline. They've covered this area before with Veronica's first season rape (and horrible conclusion to the mystery last season) so I hope they conclude this arc soon. As for the mystery her father is involved in, I am hopelessy lost about that one. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Also? Having all the characters ending up in the same college is just so..."90210." What happened to Veronica getting into Stanford? Was that another second season plotline that got buried in the mess?

You'll probably be surprised to learn that I watch "Help Me Help You" at 9:30, and even more surprised to learn that I actually like it. It's the one starring Ted Danson as a group therapist, and it's...funny. Not uproariously funny, but not completely asinine either. The "Arrested Development" influences are obvious: single camera, no laughtrack, and hopelessly dysfunctional characters, but I can excuse the copycat aspects now that there isn't the real thing around to watch anymore. If you haven't already, I'd say give it a shot. Can't hurt ya.

Unlike watching an episode of "Nip/Tuck" this season. That can be really painful. In all fairness, it's better than it was last year, with the stupid "Carver" plotline, but I just think the show's outrageousness has played itself out. This year's recurring plot involves Christian fearing he might be gay, and Sean dealing with having a deformed child. And murder. And a psychopathic psychiatrist. And organ snatchers. And Scientology. And a dying man paying Christian to have sex with his wife. And Jacqueline Bisset. And a dwarf nanny. And naked Rosie O'Donnell. These aren't single-episode storylines, people, they're what this season is all about, so I think it goes without saying: It's all too damn much.

State of TV: Mondays

In which I go into agonizing, day-by-day detail about the TV shows I am watching, and whether or not I actually like them.

So, on Mondays we have:

"How I Met Your Mother" at 8pm. I continue to watch this comedy even though the lead character is an annoying boob, and I could not care less about how he met their mother. I mainly watch because of Willow, and the "Freaks and Geeks" Guy, and Doogie Howser. I do laugh occasionally, but it's one of the shows I tend to watch while working since I don't feel the need to pay the utmost attention to what's going on, and it's dialogue-driven, so I don't have to actually "watch" it. I can treat it like a radio show. The same goes for "The Class," which follows at 8:30. "The Class" is actually not as good of a show as "HIMYM," and I wouldn't be the least bit upset if it were to get cancelled. Last week's reveal that the sad, suicidal guy who has finally met the perfect woman for him was completely sullied when they revealed that he might actually be nothing but a cheating louse. I don't care how bad his relationship with Darlene is, I just can't get behind love stories that are predicated on infidelity. It's both hackneyed and icky.

"Everybody Hates Chris" has moved to Mondays at 8pm, making it a crowded hour of television. I caught up with the last season over the summer with reruns, and can say I solidly like the show. Not love, but like. I always laugh at least once, and have a nostalgic fondness for its 1980s setting. But ultimately, I just don't think the show tries hard enough. Too often it relies on Chris Rock's narration to supply the jokes, when it would be a much stronger show if the comedy came from the actors and the plot.

"Prison Break" is also on at 8pm, although it's disappeared for the last couple of weeks due to baseball--always a bad thing for serialized dramas. This season, as last, is completely preposterous, but therein lies the fun in the show. Everything that happens is utterly ridiculous, and almost every commercial break and episode ending includes an "Oh my god, how will they ever get out of THIS one??!!" moment. Needless to say, they always get out of it. No matter, though, as Wentworth Miller remains the dreamiest tattooed freak to grace TV. (And those who watch "Nip/Tuck" can attest that Miller is not the ONLY tattooed freak to grace TV this year.)

Which brings us to 9pm and "Heroes." I'm not going to say that the show has actually gotten any better since the pilot. It's still full of cliched characters, and the normal people/superheroes idea has been done countless times by comic book writers and, apparently, Salman Rushdie, but I don't mind. As far as the "group of strangers brought together by some kind of weird event" genre that has overpopulated this season's schedule is concerned, it remains the most entertaining. Sure, Hiro still looks like he's trying to pass the world's worst dookie every time he uses his powers, and yeah, that cheerleader might have an added superpower of World's Unluckiest Girl: She broke her her neck during an accidental football tackle, and almost got raped by a football jock, only to end up impaled by a branch--straight into the skull. None of that matters, though, because the ending of last week's episode, when she wakes up on that table, completely eviscerated? Was the most awesome ending of any episode of any series all season.

At 9:30 I watch "The New Adventures of Old Christine." Putting it simply, I like Julia Louis Dreyfuss. I think she's funny. I think the show is funny. End of story.

Not let's get back to the awesome thing. Here's something that's not awesome: "Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip." Not awesome in the least. Yes, I continue to watch, but more for its "I can't believe something so bad has come from someone supposedly so great" factor. It's truly ironic that the show is centered on a writer who is again, supposedly, so great that week after week he writes an entire comedy show by himself--and the one time he actually allows something his staff of writers has written to make it on the air, the show ends up in a plagiarism scandal. See what happens when he doesn't write it all himself?? The truly sad part is, not one thing on the sketch comedy show-within-a-show has been the least bit funny, making it that much harder for us viewers to care a rat's ass about this supposedly brilliant writer, and his show, and his pining after a woman who's supposed to be an amazing comedic talent but isn't the least bit funny, and is instead just a whiny shrew. And the worst thing of all is the completely ill-placed sense of importance that hangs over it all. These people act like they're saving television week after week, and they so...aren't. And yeah, I don't know if I'm talking about the creators in "Studio 60" or the creators of "Studio 60" at this point.

Lastly, there's "What About Brian?" also known as "What About thirtysomething?" And yeah, what about it? I think anything that has even a trace of J.J. Abrams on it will get approval on ABC these days, hence the renewal of this midseason replacement that no one watched when it originally premiered. I make no apologies for loving "thirtysomething," even though when I watched it, I was a mere twentysomething (and a teensomething when it started). It's scary to think that the characters that inhabit the world of "What About Brian?" are supposed to be the same age as the characters that inhabited "thirtysomething." Yes, both shows are about self-absorbed, relatively well-off white people, but the maturity level of these thirtysomethings compared to those thirtysomethings? Is pathetic. Obviously 30 is the new 13.

But perhaps the thirtysomethings who were watching "thirtysomething" back in the day were thinking the same exact thing.

Saturday In New England

Well, not really, but part of it had a New England flavor.

First off, I took in some high school volleyball at a tournament my 14-year-old cousin was playing in. I don't really understand volleyball, although it doesn't seem like the most complicated of games, but my cousin did--score? spike? make?--a point, so that was awesome, and her team (go Salesian!) ended up in first place in their division. Sweet!

After that I went to see "The Departed" with the parents; I liked it a lot. Didn't love it as much as I have loved past Scorsese pictures, but liked it a hell of a lot. Listening to all those Boston accents had me craving a nice lobster roll. Not that I've ever actually had a lobster roll, but reading about my friend Chrissa's lobster roll experiences in the past few months has had me wishing I could fly to the east coast for lunch. Luckily, the Woodhouse Fish Company, a "New England-style" fish place, opened up at Church and Market a few months back, and lobster rolls are one of their offerings.

Like I said, I've never actually had a lobster roll, so I have nothing to compare this to. All I can say is I thought it was awesome. It was way expensive (but lobster on this coast always is), especially since I ordered the "mega roll": 6 oz. for 21 bucks. Yikes! But there was plenty of lobster in the roll, just the right amount of mayo, a few shavings of green onion, and it was served on tasty, toasted, buttery bread. (Not a hot dog bun, and not French bread, but something in between.) It was scrumptious. I want another. RIGHT NOW!

But now it's Sunday, and I am procrastinating on all the laundry, homework, and work work I have to do. Sounds like a good time to take a nap.

In Local News

This week's post about reality TV locals is now up on SFist.

TGIF!

Unexplainable Disgust Explained

I have always had a deep and unexplainable hatred of local news anchor Pete Wilson. I can't stand the dude. In the past, I was never able to really pinpoint just what it is was about the guy that I disliked so much, but the recent brouhaha over some comments he's made has shed some light on what I must have just been sensing all these years. Call it Anti-Gaydar.

Further Proof That France Doesn't Deserve a Disneyland

This video isn't nearly funny as The Sun's description of said video.

Par example: Then Mickey gets friendly with the snowman--and the gay action continues with Goofy having a steamy CLINCH with cartoon chipmunks Chip 'n' Dale. Finally, the horny hound CUPS Minnie's boobs. [Emphasis theirs.]

Why can't American papers write stuff like this?

Storm Free

According to TVgasm, plans to have some of the "Rock Star: Supernova" fan faves play with the house band during the upcoming "Don't call them Supernova" tour have been nixed. I bet they realized having a band full of actual talent open for them was not such a great idea when you're the pinnacle of musical mediocrity.

I Can Almost Taste the Po' Boy

In less than a month I'll be going to New Orleans, woo! I'm excited, but also a little nervous as I always tend to be when a plane flight is a approaching. I also realized I am going to have to board Tori at the vet's for six days as she is now a special needs kitty. She's not going to like that one bit, but I think she's going to take it a lot better than this cat did.

I Heart Alec Baldwin

My review of "30 Rock" is up on SFist. Go read it! And be sure to watch it tonight at 8pm on NBC! If there is any justice in the TV world, "Studio 60" will get the can, and "30 Rock" will turn out to be a huge hit.

Addicted

I've started to watch TV while working, and it's become addictive. That's how I tend to work when I'm at home, with the TV on and me on the couch with my laptop, but I've recently begun to take advantage of the availability of a lot of shows online and have been watching them while in the office. Today I watched "Studio 60," "How I Met Your Mother," "The Class," and "The New Adventures of Old Christine." And now I'm all done with the shows I had waiting for me on my TiVo and I want more. MORE!

Now, lest you think I am watching TV instead of working, I want to assure you that isn't the case. I am just so smart that I can do both at once. I can also read and listen to music, and sometimes even listen to music, read, AND sing at the same time. I'm brilliant. Oh, and it also helps having an awesome widescreen monitor here at work that allows me to have all the necessary windows open at once. In fact, I'd say I am MORE productive when I am able to watch something and work at the same time. I find it very hard to do just one thing at once. I'd much rather get something productive done along with my TV watching. That also goes into why I dig taking the shuttle into work; I am able to work AND commute at the same time. Sure beats sitting in a car, staring at the bumper in front of you, (or sitting on MUNI, staring at the bum in front of you).

But I digress. If you'd like to partake in this wonderful work habit, here are some helpful links.

ABC is only offering its dramas online at the moment, which is disappointing because I would love to be able to watch "The Bachelor" while at work. I can't bring myself to do it at home.

CBS seems to have most of its shows available the day after they air.

NBC only offers a handful of shows online.

The CW is lame and only has previews and clips, as far as I can tell.

And Fox looks to be Windows Media only, so screw them.

Columbus Day Is Actually NOT Better Than Christmas

Yesterday was Columbus Day, which is a holiday, hence the no blogging. It was a great day off except for the having to work and go to school part. But no blogging gave me about 30 free minutes which was ALL PARTY baby!

"30 Rock" premieres tomorrow and I should have a review up on SFist tomorrow as well. But if you just can't wait, you can watch the pilot online at the show's NBC site. And let me tell you, it's pretty fracking funny. I want to have 100 of Alec Baldwin's babies.

Friday Night's Alright for Fighting

I've got another post up on SFist, and this one's about "Battlestar Galactica," which premieres tonight at 9pm. I can't wait.

In other TV news, "Smith" has been cancelled by CBS, making it the first officially cancelled series of the season. That sucks. I didn't love the series, but I appreciated the talent involved, and felt if given the chance it could have gotten a lot better.

Also, the CW has decided to move "Everybody Hates Chris" to Mondays after only one week at its Sunday at 7pm slot. That sucks, too, as it's now up against "How I Met Your Mother" (which is moving back to 8pm) and "Prison Break." Good thing I've got that second TiVo!

Yul Love It

This week's post about locals on reality TV is now up on SFist!

Does This Mean They'll Just Fly Lower?

It's Fleet Week, and you all know how much I love it. (And no, I'm not being sarcastic.) But for the first time that I can remember, it's actually raining. It's usually really hot during Fleet Week, Indian summer and all that, but not today, that's for sure. The Blue Angels are supposed to start their practice flyovers today, but I'm wondering if they cancel that due to rain?

I think it's supposed to clear up by this weekend, when the real air shows begin, but I can't say them not getting a chance to survey the skies and do a practice run fills me with confidence. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE watching the Blue Angels, but I'm not naive enough to think something CAN'T go wrong. I just choose to ignore that fact, much like I ignore the fact that I live in a City that's sitting on a faultline, and we could all be dust in a matter of minutes. Don't ignore it, and you'll just go nuts--or move to Kansas and worry about tornadoes instead.

Edited to add: Well, a Blue Angel just flew over my roof, so I guess that answers my question.

Bete

I've got a brief post about "Ugly Betty" up on SFist, but if you don't have the time to even glance at that, I'll make the point even briefer: I like it.

Mmmmmm....Fish Biscuit

When I said I didn't think they could top the season premiere of season two of "Lost," I didn't imagine they would just...copy it. But to great effect. I loved it! And if the call-back to the season two premiere wasn't enough, we got to see the plane crash from yet another perspective.

And that pull-back to reveal the town was on the island? I think I actually cheered out loud at that.

The rest of the episode didn't exactly pile on the answers, but I'm perfectly fine with the slow reveal. I have my suspicions that Kate might have been convinced to turn on Sawyer and Jack. She obviously struggled against something while wearing those cuffs--torture?--and she seemed pretty eager to take a bite out of that fish biscuit--guess she didn't partake in the civilized breakfast?

Obviously Jack and this Juliet woman are going to become an item. Her relationship with Ben was strained to begin with (a divorce? Or just a break-up?) and his willingness to let her die with Jack seemed to come a little too easy. But will Jack just play it up to get away?

And Sawyer. I'm thinking the kid that let him loose might have been a pawn. These Others are all about the experiments, and Jack, Sawyer, and Kate are nothing but lab rats.

These first six episodes are supposed to have a complete story arc, so perhaps it will end with an escape. But what happens after that? Do the Losties then set out to destroy the Others? Or do they join them?